The Things I Never Said
A letter to the people I lost — and to the version of myself that stayed behind.

They say silence is peaceful.
But no one tells you how heavy it can become when you fill it with all the words you never said.
There are nights when I scroll through old messages that never had endings — conversations that died mid-sentence. I tell myself I’m just “revisiting memories,” but maybe I’m visiting ghosts.
People who are still alive somewhere, just not in my world anymore.
Sometimes I wonder:
Did they ever think about the things they left unsaid too?
Because I do. Every day.
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There was a time when “forever” felt like something we could hold between our hands.
We laughed in cheap cafés, made plans for summers that never came, and promised to stay the same even when life changed us.
But time, it doesn’t honor promises.
It only keeps moving — gently, cruelly, inevitably.
And somewhere between late-night talks and quiet goodbyes, we became strangers.
Not because we wanted to.
But because growing up is a slow kind of separation — one that doesn’t hurt until it’s already done.
It’s strange how people can fade from your daily life but still live rent-free in your thoughts.
You start carrying them like echoes — faint, familiar, unshakable.
---
I used to think closure came from talking.
But now I know it comes from understanding.
Understanding that people change, not because they stopped caring — but because life demanded something else from them.
Sometimes it’s distance. Sometimes it’s timing.
And sometimes it’s just silence — the kind that teaches you how to listen to your own heart again.
Maybe they had to leave to survive.
Maybe I had to stay to remember.
And maybe that’s enough.
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There’s a small café near my apartment. I sit by the same window every Sunday.
The waiter doesn’t even ask for my order anymore; he just smiles and brings my coffee.
I open my journal and write names on tissue paper — names of people I loved, names of versions of me that existed for them.
Then I fold the paper and let the wind take it away.
It feels silly, but also sacred.
Like I’m telling the universe, “I’m letting go, but I still remember.”
Some papers land under tables, some fly out the door.
Maybe they find their way to someone who also misses someone.
We are all connected in our quiet heartbreaks.
Even when we don’t speak about them.
---
To the friend who taught me laughter — thank you.
To the one who broke me without meaning to — thank you too.
Because pain was my teacher when love couldn’t stay.
And to the version of me who waited too long, cried too much, loved too hard — I forgive you.
You were just trying to keep something beautiful alive.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.
It means remembering without bleeding.
And I think that’s what growing up really is — learning to hold memories softly, like fragile glass, without cutting yourself on their edges.
---
Sometimes I still dream of everyone coming back —
not to start again, but to talk, to explain, to laugh like we used to.
But dreams fade with daylight, and I wake up learning the same truth again:
Not everything lost needs to be found.
Some things are meant to live only in memory — soft, distant, and kind.
And maybe the silence that follows is not emptiness —
maybe it’s peace.
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If you ever find yourself thinking about someone who left,
don’t wish they’d return.
Wish them peace.
Because love doesn’t always mean staying.
Sometimes, love is the act of walking away — gently, without noise —
and hoping the other person still smiles when your name crosses their mind.
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> “The things I never said still live inside me — but now they bloom quietly, like flowers in the dark.”


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