Uncle Sam Wants Who?
are you the RIGHT fit?
Sam wants you, so don't dare you be lame
The American youth, a sorry shame,
Kids these days, they ain’t fit no more
Their hip not ripped, let‘s even the score,
Look at you with that drink in your fist,
Drop yer beer, get yo slow ass in gear.
---scritchascritchakeesh---
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
So, Sam be nimble, Sam be quick
Yo, Sam jump over that candle stick
---scritchascritchakeesh---
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
Sams looking for who? It aught to be you
If yer mind’s RIGHT and you aint scared to FIGHT
Six pack’s your abs not the source of yer flab
And you stand up to pee, don’t smoke no weed,
‘Not lookin' for they, them or it at all,
no Dee Eee Eye or any Kum ba ya.
---scritchascritchakeesh---
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
So, Sam be heartless, Sam be shrill
Yo, Sam shies not, moves in for the kill
---scritchascritchakeesh—-
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
Venezuela's oil, Greenland elements rare
Ayatollah still killin'? better take care,
Commies ruined Cuba but want their cigars,
Put the world on notice, I’m its brightest star,
Don’t need Constitution or documents old,
Just give me boyz who always do as their told.
---scritchascritchakeesh---
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
So, Sam be hasty, Sam be hard
Sam kills citizens in our back yard
---scritchascritchakeesh---
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
Don’t need allies just the whole earth on edge
Don’t fear Vlad or Xi you aught to fear me!
Make war till the world groans uncle for peace
Need more cannon fodder and tank track grease,
Lookin’ at you not some Suessical who,
Get to the gym like yer ass gots a clue.
---scritchascritchakeesh---
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
So, Sam’s not kind nor filled with grace
Yo, Sam lays the whole damn world to waste
---scritchascritchakeesh—-
—-scritchascritchakeesh—-
—-scritchascritcha…BOOM!
Do I have your attention yet?
…
O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain! - William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 5.
About the Creator
John Cox
Twisted writer of mind bending tales. I never met a myth I didn't love or a subject that I couldn't twist out of joint. I have a little something for almost everyone here. Cept AI. Ain't got none of that.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
One Unchecked Box
"Republished" because it was the only way to add the embed for the newly recorded audio version of this story due to the Top Story badge. Plus it serves as a nice, informal announcement of the podcast's revival for another season (go subscribe!):
By Stephen A. Roddewig7 days ago in Fiction
Comments (13)
No more give me your poor. Sign up for money and get to shoot guns, real ones, not video games. All for the orange tyrant and his ignorant, unqualified, Fox News former host, Secretary of Defense. Great job, John!!
I felt pulled along by the cadence of your lines as if I was being shouted at from a rally podium and a satire stage at once. There’s a playful sharpness here that made me laugh while also nudging me to reflect on the deeper power dynamics you’re skirting around.
Terrific Non-Com Skuttlebutt..! jk.bud.in.la.
Well-wrought, John! We could use some levity right now.
♥️I found myself jamming out to Sam’s new release! That southern dialect and the rhythmic epizeuxis of the 'scritch', which reminds me of the sulfurous strike of a match, kept the energy high throughout. I particularly loved the isocolon in 'Sam be nimble, Sam be quick'; it adds a playful nuance to the message. ♥️The juxtaposition between the 'six pack abs' and the reality of the 'flab' is such an incisive way to call out the lack of fitness in the youth today. However, I think Sam had our attention before we even knew our attention was held, and by whom.
What a witty and awesome presentation of awful, crushing truths; thank you for being an exemplar of truth-telling and creativity in the face of these darknesses, John. What an era we are living through...
Land of the free, home of the brave. Every video I see seems to contradict this, not in terms of the people but the government representatives ain't representing this ideology. I always think about the pride of the Star-Spangled Banner when I hear a news report which begins "Donald Trump..." and wonder what fresh move has been made to contradict it.
Way to go for this should raise patriotism for some or maybe all. I was in the service till I caught pneumonia and kind of fractured my knee, so I go a medical discharge. Good job on this poem.
Oooo, this was slamming! Loved it!
It's mind-boggling that the ones with the least to offer have the most to say. I never read poetry, but this was definitely worth making the exception for. Well done, John!
As Harper and Matty said, this is fire and was rightly uncomfortable and unnerving. Well wrought sir
The Shakespeare quote at the end—🔥
Ugh my friend, spitting painful fire here. This is the dark times