What I Wouldn't Give For a Rainy Day

I should have rehung the curtains last week

the sunlight makes it impossible to sleep

impossible to shut out the world and forget

I don’t need the rest – I slept all night –

I need the escape

what I wouldn’t give for a rainy day

why can’t the sky reflect the gloominess inside?

the light streams through broken blinds

piercing the darkness in my soul

and making me bleed tears

I bury myself in blankets

but that only lasts a few minutes

the sun is not only light, it is also warmth

what I wouldn’t give for a winter storm

why can’t the weather abet the chill of my icy heart?

I need to get out

I wish it were possible to vacate my head

impossible – so I vacate my bed instead

sullenly, I retrieve and hang the curtains

then, not so sullenly, I wander outside

***

From the book my heart poured out by Jordan Aspen