what's your poison?

People are poison

I opt for isolation

how could I not?

I think about how red your eyes were

Bloodshot.

Yours, due to elicit drugs use

and blinding rage

all cause I said a name.

Mine, due to oxygen leaving my bloodstream and brain.

With you, I'm circling a drain.

I know I asked you to put your hands around my neck-

but not in that way.

That alone, leaves me in an area that's gray.

I don't remember when it stopped-

maybe it was when you realized, my body flopped.

Came to and you ask

"do you think this is what I want to do? I love you."

I know my vision of it, wasn't ever perfect,

but I think a line's been crossed.

Love me? you never have.

You wouldn't know love even if it hit you back.

I thought "you love the idea of it"

I thought "you love doing this"

For a simple fact;

it paralyzes a girl like me

into your grasp.

If you loved me, you would've just killed me when you had that chance.

Mercy, at a glance.

The marks are gone

And I am still here

except I'm not,

The sequence of events, the memory is a fog

and healing is a journey that is long

But I am here, and even though ptsd is like a sprain

I know at some point

I'll wake up, and I'll feel better about new day's.

-g.m.t.