And you call yourself a BiSexual?!

My name is Joe, and I am a bisexual. It wasn't always this way. I was a straight man for many moons. But alas, no more. Loneliness and dark temptations put it to rest, but it wasn't entirely my fault! I was seduced! A very slow and well calculated seduction that, by the time I had realized what was happening, it was already too late...

Back when I was straight, so prior to any homosexual experiences, I would go on date sites. A bit tricky trying to express your charm through texting, but you get the hang of it after a while. Going on a few dates here and there, I realized that hookups and flings were more apparent and more sought out online than friendship and relationships. Being so young at the time, I was okay with it. I adjusted my profile's wording accordingly, to where it was obvious what I was trying to do. It was then that I began receiving the transgendered messages...

It was not always them coming to me. I sometimes mistook them for a very attractive woman, before finding out otherwise. The messages would almost always come in the middle of the night, when men are our most horny. With my trying to get some cutty(we will be calling "doing the nasty" cutty) all night, with no signs of it happening, I suddenly get a text that says, "Are you big?". A very bold and straightforward 1st message! I go to check her profile. It's a fairly pretty woman, early or mid 20's, definitely sexually attractive, so in other words, I'd smash. I respond back, "Yep." And then she text, "Show me". A very strange and interesting conversation, but it being so late, and my being so horny, I went with it. After some back and forth sexting, she goes, "I want it baby, if you come over I'll suck it, no strings attached. You can hit this too, but that's up to you." After going over our std status, I was down! But the last thing she added was, "Okay, but just so you know I was born a male."

I was definitely set aback! I went back to the profile to look again, but really look this time! Sure enough, male features were evident. With great bone structure, with the angles and the lighting, a very passable woman. Of course, being straight, I was weirded out. But, not being a creep, I thanked her for her honesty, and declined.

A week goes by. The next weekend goes well! I get a message from a previous fwb that wants to hookup! A great Saturday night!

The next weekend, nothing. The weekend after that nothing, and then nothing again, but I do receive a text from the transgendered woman again. "You up?" was all the text said. Once again, it was the middle of the night, when I am the most horny. I had also just been looking for cutty all night. "Yep," I said(no reason to be rude)."Are you horny?" she asks me. "Yes" I said. "Can I suck it?" she asks me. Before I knew that she was born a he, I noticed her lips. They were nice. Plush! Going on a 3 week dry spell, I couldn't help but picture the image of her giving me head, before pushing it out just as fast. "No," I said, "I just don't feel comfortable doing that. I'm not gay." "I know you're not baby," she said in return, "It's okay."

Another weekend goes by, nothing. I was wondering if the transgendered woman was going to message, but she did not. The following weekend, being so horny, I hit up a previous fling, but she is busy that weekend, and suggests the one coming. And it is now around 12:15 on this same Saturday night, and she messages me. "Are you up?" she messages. "Yes," I tell her. "Are you horny?" she asks me. "Yes", I tell her. "Can I suck it?" she asks me. "I don't know," I honestly tell her, "I do think you're pretty, and right now I am just so horny, but seriously-I'm not gay!" "I know you're not," she began to tell me, "and that's okay. You think I am an attractive woman. Thank you, baby! Now come over here and let this woman take care of you. I want it all. When you come in, the lights will be dimmed, and you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I just want to please you, baby."

Wow! Very compelling! I saw no holes! Being attracted to her-as a woman, going to see her-as a woman, and going over to go man-handle her-as a woman. I went. She didn't lie. Everything about the entire experience was as if she were born a woman, and the head was pretty good too!

The next weekend comes, and the previous fling hits me up and we hangout like we had discussed the previous weekend. However, her head was not nearly as good as the blow job I had gotten from the transgendered woman the previous weekend.

The following weekend comes, the transgendered hits me up. Since I had been thinking about the nice blow job, I go over. Before leaving, she begins talking about her butt, referring to it as her vagina, and how tight it is...

The following weekend comes. I have had anal sex before, and she promises that every time, would feel like a virgin, so I go over. That did it. I was addicted to the pleasure. It became a thing, but at this point, I still considered myself straight...

Through the months of being online, I kept my late night, weekend prowls, consistent. I would find women willing to be fwb's here and there, but the ones who were really down for this kind of sexual of arrangement, were the transgendered! I now knew them right away due to their usually bold and straightforward messaging. And thanks to her, I knew exactly what to look for in order to point them out looking at profile pictures. If she was busy, or if it was too short notice, I would just hit up another transgendered, also trying to get some cutty online. "Are you big?," would usually be the response to my proposals. I would say, "Yep!" and then, after discussing our std status, I would head on over. In time, flings with transgendered women had become more constant and more consistent than naturally born woman. It was to where I hardly hung out with them, and that's when it happened...

It was the weekend, on a night when I was horny as always. But on this night, every transgendered hookup I had was too busy to hangout. Suddenly I get a message from one of my flings I heard from in a while, that was actually born a female. "I'm sorry I haven't hit you up," she begins to tell me, "I had gotten a boyfriend, but we broke up, and it's for good! Can you come over? Please?" Looking for cutty all night, it was a no-brainer. I headed on over.

As we start to make-out, I start to get aroused. She begins to suck me up, then it happens. My arousal started to go down! I start to trip out! With it penis erection being a mental stimulant, I try to relax and get more in the mood...and goes down even faster! Then, the worst thing that could have possibly happened, happened. She asks me, "Is everything okay?" Once a woman speaks on an erectile function disorder , it usually, permanently stays inactive for the remainder of the night. I left, embarrassed, never to see her again.

I put my weekend prowls of getting cutty on hold. What had happened? Was I attracted to men now? No! Ew! Then what? If I was still very much attracted to women, why was I mentally denying the official, for the artificial? It turns out that it was nothing more than a newly formed force of habit.

I had been playing the dating game for quite some time. When it comes to women, they play hard to get. They have to. Rape, std's, possibly abandoned with child, there's a lot that comes from being a woman, that men can't even begin to fathom. Because of this, if not in a relationship, who knows how many gaps there will be in between getting cutty from women? Not true for a transgendered woman. Rape? As long as I was willing, any time of the night worked fine for them! So rape was not a concern(in context). And since kids are not a factor, if there are no std's, a night of lust will not have any long term effects with possible dramas that can come with unexpected pregnancy. Since having sex with a transgendered women was easier, and way more available, my physical body had become accustomed to having sex with transgendered. It had become so accustomed, that my body would anxiously anticipate, and expect to have sex with a transgendered woman. And because of my eagerness and newfound anticipation my lustful sex to be with transgendered women, in a sense it was like a let down that night, especially because I was looking for "transgendered cutty" for hours prior to my old fling with the broken heart hitting me up.

To reverse what was happening, I had no choice but to come face to face with reality. The reality was, and is, that these women I was choosing to have sex with, were born male. She looked like a woman, I closed my eyes, she felt like a woman, but even then, deep down I knew it was really a man living his life as a woman, respectively. Each time I did, each and every time I did it, I knew it was someone that was not what I was looking at, an illusion, and I was ok with it. I was okay with a male sucking me up. I was ok-because he didn't look nor act like a man whatsoever, but that's no excuse. It is what it is, and 2 men doing sexual acts together, is homosexual. And since I still am very much attracted to women, then that still makes me bisexual at the least.

By saying this to myself, I was able to see it for what it really is, as to be able to decide what I wanted to do. Do I really still prefer woman? If so, shouldn't I wait until the right woman comes by? If I was to continue these, these the flings with transgendered people, I had to keep the veil down, as to avoid lying to myself like I had previously done, creating a person I no longer understood. Now if anything, I would have to say, "He looks very pretty and attractive! Even though I know, I don't see a man at all! As I touch and squeeze this luscious breast, I now further go into this lovely trance of being with this beautiful person, that I do not care was not born as a natural woman." Is doing this strange, and tricky? Yes. But not nearly as strange and tricky as not being able to get it up!

So in conclusion, please; know thyself! Am I gay? No. Do I like men? No. Have I had sex with men? Yes. Do I like woman? Yes. Am I straight? No. Have I dated transgendered women? Yes. Am I bisexual? Yes.