“Don’t say the quiet part out loud”

My heart breaks for the children and adolescents in Florida right now. Today the state of Florida walked backwards through history and put at risk the lives of their own children. They have set in motion a catastrophic series of events that the repercussions of will be seen for decades and for some a lifetime. Growing up in a Catholic school I always knew I was a little different, something about Zack Morris was just more appealing than Kelly Kapowski, and while I knew what these feelings meant I figured at the time that this was just a test from God. We were taught to expect those tests, to overcome them, to prove our faith. No, there was no way I was gay, I was just another follower in a long list of followers who had persevered before me.

It didn’t stop the bullying though. With braces, glasses, still rocking a bowl cut and almost no athletic prowess I was an easy target for the more masculine centric fellow students in our little Irish Catholic bubble of an otherwise very diverse city. It was for those reasons I chose to get out of my bubble and for the first time I would be attending a public-arts high school downtown in very unfamiliar territory. To say I was out of my element would be an understatement. For the first time in my life I was in a situation where I was so obviously the minority, but it was the first time in my life I saw people my age with the ability to express themselves. People my age were encouraged to be creative, that it was okay to be a boy that wanted to act instead of shoot hoops. We could dress how we wanted to express ourselves, shoulders weren’t as hot a topic back then however skirt length remained an issue. Quickly I was thriving in this new atmosphere.

It wasn’t until the end of my Junior year, and several years away from the overbearing eyes of the church I realized that my test from God was no test, but my truth. My house wasn’t exactly the most accepting when it came to homosexuality, not that my single dad was using slurs or was outright homophobic but he had a strained relationship with his brother who was gay and I think that distorted a lot of his views at that time in his life. When I was first told about gay people I was told why they get the diseases they do, because they’ll partner with anyone as opposed to straight people who only have sex for love. Important to note I had not been exposed to The Real World yet and this was pre-Celebreality. Thankfully in almost the two decades since, my dad has not only become an ally but a proponent for equal rights for the queer community and yes, I understand how lucky I am to have him as my father.

My point, if you’re still reading, is that at no point in my educational experiences was I influenced in any way to be gay. In fact, the only time I was influenced by any educator at any point were the nuns and the priests who taught me from a very young age that man belonged with women and anyone who chose otherwise would burn for an eternity in hell. At my very progressive high school where kids were encouraged to be themselves I never witnessed anything other that that, no coercion, no radicalizing. During my hardest times, when I was falling into a depression and learning how very well I was able to hide it from friends and family, I had two teachers I could turn to. They did the most important thing any educator could, they listened. They didn’t try to sway me in any way, they didn’t try to discourage my feelings, all they did was listen.

With this new bill in Florida DeSantis and the Florida GOP is stealing that solace from hundreds of thousands of children and adolescents across the state. No longer will these children in the throws of identity crisis have anywhere safe to turn, anyone safe to trust. For children living in households they know are unsupportive, they will live every day in fear that someone at school might make that call home and out them. Maybe their parents will try and sway them back to God’s good graces. Maybe their parents will kick them out and they’ll be forced to find housing. Maybe they’ll run away out of fear and wind up on the streets doing whatever they need to do to survive. Maybe, and unfortunately what we’ve already seen happening for years in this country, they won’t see any hope for a future and end their life before they even truly had the chance to live.

This new bill will end in broken families, it will end in promising students spiraling from the pressure of being outed, it will end in death. My only hope is that now, as opposed to my high school days, there are so many more prominent figures representing the queer community. In February of 2020 we saw Secretary Pete Buttigieg be the first gay man to win a Democratic Caucus for President. In July of 2021 MJ Rodriguez became the first transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy for acting. Renowned athlete and gold medalist Megan Rapinoe is not only and ally for her fellow community but is an advocate for women everywhere. The film and television industries are increasingly thrusting queer identifying characters in prominent roles with depth and weight, gone are the days of the sitcom gay who’s only job was to rely on stereotypes or the plaid clad lesbian who undoubtedly worked as the town’s mechanic. I hope today’s children are watching these new individuals who are living their truth and their lives unashamed and succeeding. I hope today’s children, questioning whether they can make it another day, sees the representation beyond their town or state. I hope they see that they’re part of a new generation, one where they can win medals and openly embrace their partner. A generation that lauds them for their talents and emphasizes inclusivity. A generation, where yes, they can even be President.

As much as my heart aches for these kids in Florida and as much as I want to scream and cry from anger remembering how I felt at that time. I have to remain hopeful for their generation and fight for them, because not too long ago a whole generation fought for me to have the right to call my fiancée my husband, and be on the same lease in a one bedroom without the guise of calling each other roommates. We fight because we care and we always want the next generation to have it at least a little better than we did. That’s equal rights. That’s the pursuit of happiness. That’s freedom.