thankful for the children

when a stranger sees my ring and congratulates me by saying, "love is love," and asking if my husband and i got hitched right after gay marriage was legalized, i coolly say,

"my wife and i were married only two years ago." there is a moment of silent processing before the confession:

"i thought you were a gay man." "close," i joke. "i'm trans." if this doesn't cause further confusion ("mtf?? ftm??"), the responses are nearly always the same:

"wow, i never would have guessed," "good job," "you look real."

          diminishing, comparing, erasing.

when a family member asks what their children should call me, "is aunt ok, or should we go with uncle?" i remind them that

i sign cards 'bibi kp,' or encourage them to just use my chosen name.

"right, but what about when that gets confusing for them? what do we say if they ask questions?"

"the truth." i offer. it has been four years, and

          honesty has yet to confuse their kids.

when a student asks why the streaming service keeps advertising pads and tampons to me, shouting, "you're a man! we're all men in here!" i reply evenly,

"i still get my period. lots of men do."

"oh, right. sorry." he says as he lowers his head.

i don't bother to remind him that i'm non-binary. a nuance not necessary for this discussion, the point is made without it.

          the topic is dropped.

          i repeat! the

        topic

      is

    dropped.

oh, the love and understanding of a child.

if only we adults could hold onto our youthful and open minds more than the imposed insecurities taught throughout our life.

if only we could protect the awe, the wonder, and the shared humanity

of children and our inner child, instead of truncating, limiting, and ignoring.

we should fear for them less and learn from them more.