A couple of journal entries and a writing exercise

Journal prompt by Marie Howe in “Radical receptivity” from “The book of alchemy” by Suleika Jaouad

(In short and in my own words: “I don’t want to write about” as the opening line (or “I want to remember”) and continuing from there)

I don’t want to write about how scared I am. Of letting myself down, of all the things needed to be done responsibly, of going around without parents who’ve hurt me SO MUCH, of how alone, no, lonely, I am, about how simple people live a simple life, and complicated people, like me, live a complicated life.

Journal prompt by Erin Kahr in “First lines” from “The book of alchemy” by Suleika Jaouad

(In short and in my own words: choosing a line from a book and using it as the opening line)

From “how to love better” by Yung Pueblo: “Being the best version of yourself is important for the success of the partnership”. But I don’t want to be the best version of myself, to try too hard or hard in general, I want to give up, I want to surrender, I want the peace of passivity. I’m depressed. I feel like being my best version is unachievable, always there’d come another roadblock and will create madness in my brain, will stay for a long time, leave, and then, in the future, will return. I’m impossible to overcome as I am, and I’m tired.

I don’t encourage anyone to give up or not to be the best versions of themselves, but this last passage came from a place of desperation. I hope you can understand.

“Stuck” journaling in a poetic form

Why?

Have I given my best

And then it stopped,

Not thinking clearly,

My head is a mess.

Don’t know why I even

Have to confess

About it,

Be honest about it,

When I didn’t want it to stop,

To hope,

That “this time it’d stick!”

“This time it won’t reek!”

- Abandon

… Abandon

: Abandon

- abandoning myself,

Fear, here,

Anger, there

Emptiness,

Everywhere

Expectations

Expectations

Healing

Then

Kneeling

On the ground

In hope for something more

“More! More!”

-My demons yell,

“Or! Or!”

- Those demons tell,

“We’ll be exposed,

abandoned,

vulnerable

Angsty,

So -

“More! More!”

My voice shakes,

My bones ache,

My feelings break -

And

“More! More!”

They keep on yelling

Foretelling backwards

A story of confusion

The next excerpt is a generic writing exercise that I’ve answered in my own words (only the instructions are not mine, they are the exercise itself):

Who is/ are

What is/ are

Where is/ are

When is/ are

How is/ are

Why is/ are

A hero returns to his beloved partner from a long journey to another kingdom. He returns victorious from his jorney, praised.

Who is the hero?

A 17 years old nobleman who has just finished highschool (he skipped a grade). His name - is Steven, he has dark brown hair (that looks almost black), quite tall (meter and 78 cm), has an artistic, altruistic soul, not vain, and very down-to-earth, emerald eyes, olive skin, quirky smile to the left like he’s scheming something (but in good spirits), a very reliable, loyal and good friend, a begginer in all of the love business. And hella mischievous.

What is he looking for?

Belle, his beloved. He loves her so much, and misses her terribly. They are a match made in heaven.

Where is he from?

Steven is from the kingdom of Eggenhoarth.

When is he going to reveal the truth?

When he’ll meet up either Belle.

How is he there?

He triumphed Oggers in a battlefield and won the heart of the king of Loetvilia, who gave him a necklace that its’ Lapis Lazuli gem transported him back to Eggenhoarth.

Why is he in trouble?

Funny story: he loved an Ogger’s shoes so much (the design was perfect!) that he took them. They were men moccasins, his favorite kind. Now the Ogger roams around Loetvilia, with bare feet, screaming: “who took my shoes?! Who stole my shoes?!” -Haha, funny as heck. ☺️

Honestly the one I hate most rn is the stuck poem

And the one I love the most is the very last passage enclosing all of this (the “Why is he in trouble?” one)

I hope you’ll find at least one relatable 🙂💕