A Headache, New Medication, and a Happy Outcome

As of Saturday, I had a headache. Again. Or maybe still?

I had a new prescription that was finally approved that I was really hoping would help with my headache, but was a headache to be approved for in and of itself. The paperwork had been delayed by a week. The paperwork had been completed - and then rejected because one item wasn't "clearly" marked.

Then there was more paperwork to do with another appointment with a special provider to get through. I was starting to give up hope that this medicine would even be available to me.

The appointment was completed ... and the pharmacy would have my prescription ready to pick up.

It wasn't available at the local pharmacy. No, just like my son's special drink, the closest location to pick it up is 1.5 hours away.

They gave me a lot of details because it is going to be an experimentation process. Minimum doses. Maximum doses. What to take it with. When to take each dose.

Gummies? Pills? Inhalants? Liquid? Did I have a preference? I didn't know, so the specialist gave me options and instructions for any of my choices.

Free will to try the medication in any way that I wanted.

Trust that I would be responsible enough to not take too much.

Each one is supposed to be added in slowly to try to limit negative reactions and to try to isolate what helps versus any options that don't sit well with me.

For an example, I can take liquid gel capsules of ibuprofen. But, if I try to take the tablets? My stomach will be in pain for days! I can take the liquid suspension of ibuprofen, but it takes all of my willpower to not gag at the taste. Or when trying to find a multivitamin, there were so many options that made me physically ill.

I felt ... good? that I was trusted to know my body best and make informed decisions.

I felt ... nervous? about trying another new medication. I have had several bad reactions to new medicine. This seemed too good to be true.

It would help with my sleep? It would help with my pain? It would help decrease my trauma-responses?

Yeah... I've heard that before once... or twice... or many many times!

I have been told that I am a pessimist, but here is the deal... I am naturally optimistic. The world has crushed that part of me into what I call realistic. Maybe I just speak the facts so ... unemotionally ... that it feels pessimistic?

I say that I am naturally optimistic because I automatically believe that people will follow the "rules" - you know, like the speed limit, or not trespassing, or not stealing, or not lying to law enforcement. But, does our world actually work that way? Nope!

But, since I don't really have an option beyond being a "guinea pig" to see what drugs will work with me instead of against me for pain management, I was willing to try this new idea. I knew that I was wanting a change where I could live a better life, but I had absolutely no expectations for this new medication as life has taught me better than to get my hopes up.

I took my first dose that night - and actually slept! It was unbelievable!

The second night, I followed the recommendation to take 1/2 instead of a 1/4, but I quickly decided that 1/4 was a good amount for me - and maybe even a little too much for every night!

My pain was decreased by the end of the 2nd night (Monday morning)! I was super surprised that my joints started readjusting themselves instead of my muscles being so tight that my joints feel like the bones are crushing themselves together.

By Wednesday, I was feeling really good. I have had the best sleep that I have had in months - and consistently slept for 6-9 hours each night! I can wake up in the middle of the night and still be able to take care of my kiddos. I sleep - without intense dreams! I am feeling well rested and... better?

I had no expectations for my new medication. And I am only just now started on the evening medication! There are other things for daytime use and I am just ... extra... nervous... about taking daytime medications.

I feel like I can maybe see a light at the end of the tunnel now...

I hope that this good thing stays a good thing - and I will figure out my co-pays another day. *smile*