Healing writing

“Writing is medicine. It is an appropriate antidote to injury. It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change.” – Julie Cameron

Today I cracked open my workbook that I received at Haven Retreat several years ago. I decided that I needed to carve out time once again daily to work on myself. I’m thankful for this book and the support that I find within the community that was created by going. It was an incredible experience and at the same time too short. You work through so much in a short amount of time. You rip the bandages off and begin to heal the wounds but in order to fully heal you have to continuously work on it. It’s not a one and done thing. You have to work on it every day because those triggers and memories aren’t just going to disappear overnight.

I decided on exercise number four which is healing writing with awareness. In this exercise it tells you to find a journal that you’re not intimidated to write in – one that calls to you. Then you find a place to write where you feel safe and comfortable. It says to write for 15 minutes or 3 pages. You’re supposed to write without stopping until you fill the pages. When writing let go of your internal editor. Write as though you are the only one who will ever be reading and only share if you want to and always stop for a moment if the feelings become too raw. Take a moment to ground yourself before continuing. This exercise is meant to be used as a check in to raise your awareness and keep yourself grounded. After you complete the exercise complete a reflection noting how you felt while you were writing and if you enjoyed it.

My usual go to is coloring because it is freeing, and you get rewarded with a beautiful picture afterwards. (Partially finished with the coloring of the picture I used for the image on this post.)

Today I chose to write to my younger selves…

Dear the many ages of myself,

We made it to 31 years old. I remember that we didn’t think we’d make it past 16. We were so sure that we’d be dead and buried. We celebrated that milestone when we passed it. We also celebrated getting past 21. I know that milestone wasn’t as impressive as we once thought it would be since we started drinking way before we should have and were able to get away with buying alcohol at 15 so it wasn’t that big of a deal to us in that sense. I know that we’ve been though a lot and each of us chose how to cope in our own ways, but I want to let you know that it's okay. I understand and don’t hold it against any of you. We learned from those experiences, and we did grow, it may not have felt like it at the time, but it has shaped us into who we are today. I won’t say that it’s all good things, but we are still here. We’re still living, we’re working through things and taking the steps to heal. I am coming for each one of you because I know that some of you are still in the dark – lost and trying to find the way out of the memories and trauma that you’re stuck in. I am sorry that you weren’t protected in the way that you wish you had been. Over the past three years I have learned that we had that support all along, but we just didn’t realize it. I have more personalized letters for every single one of you but for now I’m going to end this letter and just let you know that I love each of you and I’m proud of you for surviving and living when you could so that I could be here today.