The Introverts Guide to Getting Out of the House More

The Myers-Briggs personality test is an accurate way of knowing whether you are an introvert or not. Some of us introverts (including yours truly, who has swayed between an INTJ and an ISTP on this test) can be extroverted sometimes as well; yet if you have an "I" at the start of your personality test result, or you just know in your heart of hearts that you are a true introvert is that you are most "in your element" when you are at home, whether by choice or through some form of quarantine. When you know you know right?

You do not need to be scared, nervous, sensitive or overstimulated when it comes to going out and leaving the home. There are staggered ways to do it, so that you either feel accepting of, more comfortable with and around, and even fully acclimatised to other people in crowds and crowded places - even if they are way too busy glued to their smartphone screens.

We are all trained to ask for what we want, and the more people you approach (I know, it is still sh!t scary for yours truly) to ask a simple question that meets both of your needs from a simple "How are you today?" to something more complex builds confidence. No one likes rejection and uncertainty, yet these circumstances really hurt introverted people more like a tonne of bricks.

Being an introvert is not a personality flaw, nor it is a weakness. It is a strength. We are quiet-achievers. We are thoughtful and mindful. There are also mindful people who score an "E" in the Myers-Briggs test; yet quiet introspection and being completely comfortable with your own company in our own skin are super strong strengths that create tough and resilient people. It does not mean that you are shy. The taboo around shyness must end.

Being outside does not mean that you have to sacrifice your solitude, even though spending time at home is an introverts safe haven. Introverts delight in spending more time outside in more open spaces from the beach to time in parks and in nature - and aim to travel in off-peak times. If you are able to avoid supermarkets and shopping malls from lunchtime on weekends, then you are doing yourself a huge favour by protecting your energy levels. The option to visit a quiet cafe, or catch a movie that you are keen to see, which is about to leave the cinemas are good options to protect your peace if things get a little too much while out and about. Hopping on planes and going to festivals are not out of the equation - yet it is wise to bring a trusted friend or family member with you, so your focus shifts to them, rather than on the crowds around you.

After a period of long isolations for whatever reason, start local. If you go out for just ten minutes at a time, that is amazing.

With time, confidence and exposure, you can increase your outing durations, and before you know it, three hours out just flies by.

Focusing on activities that boost your mental and physical health such as a group fitness class is a great option for introverts. Gyms, yoga studios and health clubs generally cap their class numbers for participant safety, and everyone needs to keep a decent distance from one another while working out. Such fitness sessions are also held outside, and some companies put on free sessions to benefit the community.

Yours truly was a University (College in America) student before AI was even mainstream. It took effort to travel to the library, and search for the relevant text and reference books for assignments. If you had challenges finding such worthy research sources, the next viable option was to ask a librarian for assistance. Yes this is rather scary and uncomfortable for introverts, yet this builds confidence and stamina. No different if you want to start up a foodie walking tour. Sure, you plan and time the tour alone - yet you need to ask the for the manager at targeted food retailers, and discuss your proposal. The worse they can say is no, yet all of them said yes. A win-win.

If you think it is scary to approach strangers face to face; it is just as scary to take on a telemarketing cold calling job and call complete strangers, and chat to them at inopportune times (usually while they're eating dinner, not wanting a few peas to go down the wrong hole) while the volume of rejections thickens your skin as soon as you can say that I am an introvert in a complete sentence. Such call centre jobs are not suitable for introverts, yet are good to take up on a short-term temporary basis - no different to customer service roles. If such jobs are needed for bills to be paid, then negotiate work from home options if feasible. Or engage in some extra training to pivot. Who knows, you could earn some healthy commissions and bonuses on top.

"Feel the fear and do it anyway." - Susan Jeffers

Keep a journal of what specific environmental factors cause you to become overstimulated while you're out and about. Clothes shopping in a lunch rush period for full-time office workers in a CBD area may not be ideal; yet you could adjust your approach and try shopping at a quieter time. Google reviews gives you this information in a bar graph; otherwise you can always ask one of the staff members, and the worse case scenario in such a circumstance is that they do not know. Try and try again. Career counsellors can provide advice on introverted friendly jobs such as auditing, data analysis and writing to name.

Libraries, bookstores, open spaces and parks are pretty introvert friendly options while out and about, in addition to fairly empty cinemas and theatres. Tap into your feelings and emotions. Engaging in self care activities around the home to recharge the batteries to fill up your own cup is critical, so to not feel drained in the presence of too many people; even if they are just rushing around you, minding their own business. People are wonderful, yet to an introvert, it can all feel a little too much sometimes. Vacations to unwind are just as important. What do you do in keeping your sanity outside the house as a fellow introvert? I'm keen to listen to your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.

Ironically written by an introvert, Come Out and Play by Billie Eilish captures the need for mental cuddles, and for introverts to be seen, heard and appreciated. This song is also about overcoming fears and shyness. "Don't hide away, come out and play." Here it is: