The Relationship Of You and Your Loneliness By Pamela Conoly

You can go to bed in the happiest state of mind that's almost euphoric even, sleep straight through the night. Yet, wake up the next morning totally, utterly depressed. So, you jump head first into your work. Even gabbing all the over time you can get at your job because if you are working, your distracted, am I right? Then after work you run your errands with a spring in your step and a smile on your face because you are now going to the grocery store or near by take out restaurant to get a snack or Chinese food to watch a movie on Netflix as a gift to yourself because you deserve it. Dinner and a movie and some self love. Don't get me wrong. By self love I mean a possible shower followed by a glass of wine, soft music and a pep talk.

Welcome to the relationship between you and your loneliness. We have all been there at one time or another. I can tell you from experience, it's not a good idea to get a cat or any other pet for that matter. It's okay if you already have a pet, they can be quite helpful as well as good company if you are already used to having one. The best thing to not do in your loneliness is to put anymore burdens on yourself than are needed. This will just lead to more frustration. You will have whatever happened to make you lonely, to do that for you enough.

While you are just trying to get on with your life by diving into every aspect of what you think ought to make you happy. I can tell you that dating yourself is not the answer. It only serves to make you emotionally unavailable giving you the attitude that you either, don't need anyone or" no one needs or wants me", scenario, which will do you more harm than good.

Now, if you are going to go out to a bar, at least call some friends to go with you. Try not to sound so depressed. Your just asking them to go have a drink with you. Sounding overly pathetic may make them think that they are going to have to babysit you and your loneliness and nobody really wants that responsibility. Remember, they are your friends. Tell them what's going on but, in a reasonable way.

Alcohol is never a good solution to drown your troubles. That's how alcoholism, car accidents and deaths come about, regardless of the situation that made your loneliness happen in the first place. The biggest reaction to the void that you are trying to fill is to encompass things that you think you are entitled to in life that you think you are not getting. Well, I'm here to tell you that this is wrong!

Instead of trying to fill the void, which is only a natural human response, embrace the void instead. I'm not saying you should dive into your depression or embrace feeling bad. I'm just saying you shouldn't add extra things to your life that you didn't already have before loneliness showed up. Your situation was not planned. So, don't plan on filling the void afterwards.

What I mean is, give yourself a break from grieving. It is perfectly okay to grieve whether it be a death of a loved one or the death of a relationship because one can certainly feel just as bad as the other.

Now, I mentioned pets earlier. Pets are like your family. They do know when something is wrong with you and they care. So much so, that they will do what they can just to be with you. They would give anything for you to not be sad or hurting. So, you need to think about their well being and psychy as well as your own. I say this because it's one thing if you already have a pet to take care of, after all, you are already used to the responsibility. This is where you should not take on extra responsibility, do NOT get yourself a pet if you don't already have one. It is not fair to you or the pet. No matter what kind of pet it is. You are not ready for new relationships right now especially one you have to care for 24/7.

But, if you do already have one, don't let your depression go on too long or your grief, even though, every bodies grief is different, will carry over to your pet. They look up to you and because they are not like us, they will not give up to the point of frustration and they may become ill. So, let them help you. Don't get so grieved out that you start pushing your best friend away on a regular basis or you will wind up taking your dog or cat to a therapist! Yes, it's a real thing!

Now, gaming is a whole other story all together. It is so easy to get into the interesting games of other worlds. There are so many, literally something for everyone. Even if it's your first time! No matter your age or interest. Seriously! Don't get me wrong, I like playing games as much as the next guy. It's a fun past time and improves cognative ability, exercises your brain. But, it can also be addictive especially if you are doing it for a distraction from depression to escape for a little while which could easily turn into more hours than you realize. Pretty soon what you think was just hours turns into days.

Do not let yourself go down the rabbit whole because this distraction is the same addiction as any drug and can be just as deadly especially if you are doing it out of depression. You may think it's helping but, it will wind up just pulling you in deeper and pretty soon you will loose sleep and all track of reasonable time so, don't even let that "Game Monkey" climb on your back and take up residence. It's just not worth it. Gaming addiction is a real thing!

I found this very informative video on gaming addiction and how to know if you have it.

Now, let's get on the subject of online shopping. I totally love to shop, online, in person, I love it! It is particularly easy to want to pack up and go when you've been hurt, disappointed, depressed, angry, hurt, well the list goes on and on.

But, now, you have to ask yourself, would I have spent money if I wasn't upset? No, of course not! You are just doing it to settle yourself and make YOU feel better. It's okay , though, if you go shopping, just to get out, just browse, maybe get a cup of coffee to rewind yourself. That way there's not much damage to your finances and that will make you feel even better, try it!

It works like a charm. You don't need to spend money to make you feel better. It will just make you feel worse. I mean, if you're going to go shopping make sure it's for something you need anyway like, groceries or something someone in your family needs anyway. That way you won't feel twice as defeated after you go. All you have to do is try to change the way you think about it.

Anything can turn into an addiction. I'm just saying, all it takes is one trial depending on the circumstances and VOILA! I've said it before, too much of one thing is never good for you and can lead to an addiction and for what? Just because you are depressed or having down times. Your body is the best thing you got going for yourself. You take care of it and it will take care of you.

You may be sick of people telling you about self love. I know I am! Like I said earlier, you are never going to be able to stop your brain from thinking but, you can change the way you think and react to certain situations. I mean, you don't always have to have an addictive reaction to an upsetting event in your life like, eating, smoking, drinking, spending money. These are all incredible urges that are very strong and hard to resist.

But, like I said, think about it first. How is it really going to make you feel afterwards? Is it going to be worth it? Can you really afford it? You're going to feel a lot worse if you can't pay you're rent or electric bill, right?

Down below I have found an excellent video to deal with loneliness. Whatever the cause, this guy will make you feel better and help get rid of the desperate feeling that WE that suffer from this have to deal with everyday and not just when the holidays come around. Feel better because you are worth it!