When pain shows on the skin: how emotional abuse can steal your peace and your beauty

There was a time in my life when a was trapped in an emotionally abusive situation. Each day felt like a silent war. I cried often. I was anxious, unsettled, and constantly walking on egg shells. I smiled in front of others_ at school, in public during conversations_ but inside, I was deeply broken.

Slowly, I began to notice changes.

My skin looked tired. My face seemed older. I was loosing the natural glow I once had. Nothing I applied_no product, no skin care, no beauty routine_ seemed to work. I tried everything. Creams, oils, natural remedies. Nothing changed.

I started believing that it was simply my new reality. That may be I had lost what I once had. That may be this is how I really looked now. That may be, this was who I had always been_and who I would always stay.

But something inside of me keep whispering that this wasn't true. Something had been taken from me.

That "something" was peace.

I remember reading a book that shifted something in me. Dale Carnegie's how to stop worrying and start living (in french Comment dominer le stress et les soucis). There was a passage that stuck me deeply. Carnegie told a story of a woman_a former actress_who once admired for her beauty and charm. But over time _ as she faced overwhelming worries_financial pressure, life struggles, constant anxiety_her appearance changed drastically. Her beauty faded. She lost her radiance. She looked older, worn down, and tired.

The problem wasn't just age. It was stress. stress has stolen her glow.

Carnegie's message was clear: stress does more damage than time itself. And when the carry emotional burdens day after day, our body shows it. Wrinkles, dull skin, tension in the face, loss of glow_all these become signs of what we're carrying inside.

That's exactly what was happening to me. If you're in an environment that drains your soul, it will eventually drains your body too. Stress when carried for too long, become a physical illness_sometimes invisible, sometimes written all over your face.

Psychologists say that chronic stress, especially caused by emotional abuse, can accelerate aging. It weakens the immune system, disrupts sleep, and affects how we care for ourselves. No skin product can undo what emotional trauma does to the soul. The real healing starts from even within.

Authors like Louise Hay and Bessel Van der Kolk (author of the body keeps the score) also emphasizes how unprocessed emotional pain lives in the body. Hay believes that every physical issue is tied to a deeper emotional root_ for example skin problems can relate to feeling of shame or fear of being seen. Van der Kolk's research how trauma, if stay unresolved, rewires the brain and the body, keeping people in constant state of emotional survival. These insights validate the deep impact of a narcissist abuse and highlight the importance of healing both emotional stress and physical appearance.

Modern research confirms the strong connection between emotional stress and physical health. According to studies in psychodermacology,chronic stress can lead to premature aging, skin issues, hair loss, and weakened immunity. Stress increases the production of cortisol, a hormone that, when elevated for long periods damages collagen and accelerates skin aging. Dr Rick Fried, a dermatologist and clinical psychologist, explains that our emotional state directly reflects on our skin_sadness, fear,and anxiety often manifest physically. This proves that the grief caused by emotional abuse, especially from narcissistic relationships, doesn't just affect the heart_it transforms the body too.

So what can you do?

1. Start by recognizing the source. Name it. Call it out. You're not imagining things.
2. Protect your peace. Even if you can not escape immediately. Begin by setting boundaries_emotional, mental, and spiritual.
3. Prioritize your healing. Rest. Nourish yourself. Spend time in proper spaces. Connect with people who really see you.
4. And remember Carnegie's lesson: Accept what you can control, live one day at a time, and let go of the weight that doesn't belong to you.

You're not the tired version of yourself that pain created.

Your real face_the peaceful one_Is still there. Waiting.

Take care.

Words by Solange.