why getting what you want won`t make you happy

One of the hardest truths we all slowly realize is this: achieving the things we dream about rarely makes us truly happy. Sure, buying a car, getting a promotion, or moving abroad feels exciting at first—but that spark fades faster than we expect.

Psychologists have a name for this: the happiness set point. Imagine a graph with two axes—time on the bottom, happiness on the side. Something amazing happens: your happiness spikes upward. But after a few weeks, maybe eight at most, it comes back down to your baseline. On the flip side, when something awful happens—a breakup, an illness, losing money—your happiness crashes. But again, after some time, it bounces back to the same baseline.

That’s the fascinating part: whether good or bad things happen, your emotional state eventually returns to a “default setting.”

The Hedonic Treadmill: Always Wanting More

This cycle is known as hedonic adaptation. We chase what we want, we get it, we feel happy for a while, and then the thrill fades. What happens next? We set our sights on the next thing. And the next. And the next.

It’s like running on a treadmill—you’re moving, sweating, chasing, but not actually going anywhere.

And here’s the kicker: the mind doesn’t actually care about having as much as it cares about wanting.

Think about it. When you really want something—a car, a relationship, a promotion—your mind nags you constantly. The second you achieve it, the nagging stops… temporarily. That silence, that gap, is what feels like happiness. Not the car. Not the promotion. Just the pause in wanting.

But soon enough, the mind wakes up again: “Okay, now I need something else.” And just like that, the cycle continues.

Why the Mind Loves Wanting More

The truth is, your mind is designed to crave. Wanting is how it keeps you moving forward, how the ego stays alive. But the more layers of desire you pile up, the thicker the wall becomes between you and the simple, quiet happiness that already exists inside you.

Happiness isn’t hiding in the future. It’s not waiting for you in the next house, the next job, or the next relationship. It’s either here, right now, or it’s nowhere.

Your capacity for joy in this exact moment is 100 out of 100. Always. Whether you’re rich or broke, single or married, healthy or struggling. The only difference is whether you’re tapping into it—or letting the mind convince you to wait until “someday.”

A Question Worth Sitting With

Let me leave you with a question, one that changed how I see life:

👉 If nothing ever got better in your life, could you still be happy?

If your answer is “no,” notice what happens. Your mind rushes in with reasons—money, health, relationships, security. But here’s the thing: none of those reasons are actually blocking your happiness. They’re just stories your mind tells to justify why it’s not satisfied right now.

Look around. Even with struggles, chances are your life is still better than millions of people living without safety, clean water, or shelter. And yet many of them find joy, laughter, and peace. So the barrier isn’t your circumstances. It’s your mind.

The Practice of Happiness

Happiness isn’t a reward at the finish line. It’s a muscle. You practice it by being present, by noticing small moments, by questioning the voice that says “not enough.”

When you stop fighting for the reasons you think you can’t be happy, something shifts. Life becomes lighter. Challenges become part of the dance. Wins and losses are just moves in the same game.

Because happiness isn’t something you chase—it’s something you let yourself feel, right here, right now.

✨ So next time your mind says, “I’ll be happy when…” pause. Take a breath. Remember: happiness isn’t in the wanting. It’s in the being