Travel

Can we talk about this for a minute??

It's that "vegetating on a little corner of the earth all one's lifetime" that hits hard for me.

2021 travel was a game changer for me. Turkiye was a game changer for me.

It's not as though I hadn't traveled before. In years past I had vacationed on a cruise to the Bahamas. Cruising...is SO much fun and I could probably live on a cruise (#goals).

I did mission trips to Mexico and Trinidad and Tobago. Working with orphanages and children who didn't have access to education was amazing!

But, after those trips...life got in the way. I remember distinctly feeling the travel bug when I went to Trinidad and Tobago. On this trip the group I was with stayed in a fenced-in compound. All concrete with barbed wire at the top. Each morning I would sit on the balcony and watch the steam rise from the muddy streets as the sun burned off the remnants of the night. I typically ate alone for breakfast. Trinidad and Tobago is predominantly Hindu and Muslim. So each day I would get to hear the call to prayer ringing out over the village. Then shortly after an old beat up car with a giant speaker on top would make its way through the village announcing the daily news and any deaths that happened overnight.

In this space...I was the wholly other. That change of context yielded some profound self-discovery that I wouldn't have had if I'd kept vegetating in Tennessee.

It was during that trip that I made a very conscious agreement with my own soul. I agreed that travel was good for me because it stretched me and that I would somehow make a life out of it.

But...it was "life" that got in the way. For far TOO many years after that trip I found myself a slave to the grind. A slave to things that took me in the opposite direction of where my soul was calling me to go. And, in case you didn't know....here in America we consider it a value and a measure of a person's morality by how much they sacrifice to corporate entities who don't give a **** about us. I'll save that post for another day.

In the back of my busy mind I kept telling myself....I'll travel again soon. Soon never came. But, COVID19 did. That's when I had a "come-to-Jesus" meeting with myself.

It was 1 week before my birthday. I had planned to "finally" go out and live a little. Maybe get some drinks. Maybe dance. Reconnect with old friends who I was missing so bad. My birthday was the perfect opportunity to "give myself permission" to take a break from work. To stop vegetating. And, little did I know that even the VERY OPTION to travel would be gone. By the news reports I thought I would end up gone. Sadly, at the time of the writing just in my country alone #usa we have lost over 883,000 people to this deadly virus.

If you follow my content at all you know I have a history of panic disorder and #mentalhealth issues. So, when things started shutting down and people around me started getting sick and dying....not only did I have to face the harsh reality that I might die...I did it through the filters of panic disorder. No fun, am I right??

We were under a government advisory to not even leave our houses. I remember being so afraid that I went from walking my neighborhood and local parks to walking circles directly on the cul-de-sac I live on. I was terrified to even venture down the street in case I got too close to one of my neighbors. I am not Catholic but you can believe I was calling on the Church triumphant and all the angels. I prayed fervently for a cure, a vaccine, research, our healthcare workers. I prayed EVERYDAY for EVERY HUMAN on the globe.

At night as I would lay in bed my mind raced with regrets. Regrets for not talking longer to my parents. Regrets for delaying going out with my friends. Regrets for DEDICATING SO MUCH OF MY LIFE to jobs and people who at the end of the day did NOT love me, did NOT value me the way I should be valued, did NOT reciprocate the life I was giving.

I thought about what Abu Dhabi might like. I thought a lot about Syria and the middle-east. I longed for the fun vibes of a cruise ship. I thought about what the lands of my ancestry look like, Ireland and Great Britain.

I thought about how I wished I could have slowed down long enough to travel. To travel and then put some roots down with a husband and have some kids. Maybe a small farm with sheep, chickens and a stream we could all play in. A place where I could protect those I love from the toxic social constructs and work culture that would eat up the majority of the prime of their lives.

I had sacrificed so much of my life to chasing a living and foregoing even a semblance of life. I longed for my own tribe and a space in every place...in every nook and cranny that this glorious planet has.

I finally acknowledged my soul's call. Once Coronavirus lockdown happened I determined in my heart that as long as I was alive and had my health that every single decision I would make thereafter would be a decision that would take me in the direction of travel.

A decision that would take me in the direction of having my own community of people around me....who get me...who get it. Kindred spirits who were tired of vegetating and had a call to adventure.

I NEEDED a context that was radically dynamic and diverse. I NEEDED a context where I was the foreigner at the mercy of humans who thought different than me, who lived differently, who believed differently, who dressed differently.

Have you ever just needed different?? Regardless of how "different" came packaged??

I remember the distinct feeling of sorrow that I hadn't gotten to a place where I could definitively say that I was immersed and caught away in a country that was so dissimilar from my own. It's in that kind of context that I thrive. It's just who I am.

So...in the middle of a global pandemic I renewed my #passport. I got my global entry card. And, in the middle of nearly crippling fear I planned to launch or die trying. And, that's exactly what I did. I placed my travel pin and my heart on Turkey. I got a closing from my real estate business that gave me literally just enough money to book a flight and get a hotel in Antalya, Turkey.

When I tell you I had NO ROOM for error or emergencies I mean it. After I paid my NON-REFUNDABLE tickets and room (which I would never recommend doing non-refundable or not having travel insurance) I had $200.00 to last me for 2 weeks out of the country. Do you know how scared I was?? A missed flight alone and I would have overdrawn my bank account while 6000 miles away from home and anyone who could rescue me.

It was a risk worth taking. My life changed on that trip. I found my different. And, I found humanity to be quite merciful, hospitable, kind, helpful and with pure intentions. Those things took us each beyond our language barriers to that kindred place. It's so beautiful isn't it?

I stopped vegetating and hopped a plane to Istanbul headed for the waters of the Mediterranean. The MED! A dream I'd had my entire adult life. I have a video of my first morning there that I haven't released yet. At some point I might. I woke up in Turkey that first morning and I was in absolute shock of the distance I had traveled by myself. I couldn't believe what I had risked to make the leap to get to the other side of the globe.

I did it so I could feel alive.

One thing that I discovered once I got there was I had never known pure exhilaration until then. In my 40s and NEVER had I felt exhilaration. Isn't that sad?? I never knew what it was to feel pure and ecstatic joy and satisfaction with myself.

You see this is the problem with "vegetating." Sure, you're blooming...but are you growing?

Sure, you're putting down roots but do those roots equal being bound? Being forced into a context that you'd rather not be in??

This is why I am so adamant about the importance of travel.

Not only is it therapeutic it's necessary. It's imperative. It is a remedy in and of itself to bigotry, narrow-mindedness, hate and fear.

So, what are you waiting for? Tell me because I really want to know. It's time to live is it not?

Cheers to travel,

Cozett Dunn

I am now a travel agent and a life coach. If you'd like to connect with me about any and all forms of travel and/or life coaching you can reach out to me on my site: www.contemplativecoaching.life

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