Spiritual Warfare

The Light is calling.

(Light as in the Lord)

there’s times where i find myself drowning in my own tears.

drowning in the mess i’ve created. the water is surrounded by the darkness. it lurks around me.

in that dark there’s another half of me roaming around the room, telling me that im not good enough or that i will never be enough.

it tells me that im a failure.

that i should just end it.

give up.

i cry more because crying is all i can do.

im hopeless and helpless.

suddenly there’s this bright white dove that shines its way through the wall of darkness i’ve created by isolating myself.

it doesn’t come to me it’s just there.

something in me tells me that i should go to it, as im about to walk towards it i feel a heavy hand on my left shoulder.

it’s the other half of me.

it tells me not to go to it.

i don’t deserve it.

instead of following the dove i realize that other half of me is right.

i don’t deserve any of this, i should just die.

i sit and cry.

filling the room with water.

the gloomy darkness continues to flow in the room.

the other half of me is proud of itself.

suddenly i hear a voice.

a voice i have never heard before.

deep inside something tells me i should keep going, to keep trying.

but why…?

i get up trying to follow that voice.

every step i take it gets harder and harder.

something is pulling me back.

why can’t i keep going..?

the more i try to keep walking the harder it gets but im trying and its not enough. im slowly giving up and questioning myself is this even worth trying?

i remember to have faith. here i am calling out for his name.

Jesus help me i cried.

suddenly im able to walk and push through the darkness.

i felt myself running but im not moving, its my soul that’s running towards that voice.

as my soul breaks through the darkness on the other side its this big bright light.

i run to it, deep inside something tells me its safe.

it’s the Lord waiting for me on the other side of the wall of darkness.

all i had to do was seek and call out to him.

moral of the story, pray to Jesus even through dark and tough times. have faith in Jesus and just know he’ll always be with you.

Deuteronomy 31:8

And the Lord, He is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.