Harper Lewis
Bio
I'm a weirdo nerd who’s extremely subversive. I like rocks, incense, and all kinds of witchy stuff. Intrusive rhyme bothers me.
MA English literature, College of Charleston
Achievements (7)
Stories (127)
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Show Me Your Prose!. Content Warning.
I’ve caught the unofficial challenge bug again, and I have a lot of devious ideas (like my Cthulu’s Challenge: poetry in pig latin, but I’ll probably save that one for next Christmas or some other time when the sweetness gets a bit too cloying for my tastes.
By Harper Lewis3 days ago in Writers
Happy VD. Content Warning.
Something was definitely wrong. I’d always laughed about burning piss, but holy fuck, this was no joke. My dick felt like it was on fire, and not in the good way. I’d been on the prowl a lot since Debbie dumped me, tagging a groupie at every gig. Best way to get over one woman is to get over another few.
By Harper Lewis4 days ago in Fiction
Cypress Knees (working). Content Warning.
I didn’t want to kill any of them, but I had to so they wouldn’t get hurt. I’ve seen the world and what it can do to people. I’ve seen depravity the likes of which you wouldn’t believe. The things men will do when they’re drunk and high on amphetamines and testosterone if a girl or woman is available. Or nearby and unprotected.
By Harper Lewis4 days ago in Critique
Dinner
Whiskey tango foxtrot. Would you look at the seating chart my brother just handed me? It was a nightmare worthy of Phobetor and Phantasos. I swatted him with it then told him he could seat the ladies. That should fix his little red chariot but good. “And tell Aphrodite to dress for dinner. I won’t have her at my table in cut offs and a tube top.” I noticed Hermes glancing at the chart. “Any table.” If there’s a loophole, he’ll find it. If there isn’t, he’ll make one.
By Harper Lewis6 days ago in Fiction
Tam-Oh-Shan’t-Her. Content Warning.
This is an example for my dirty limerick contest. I’m not kidding about keeping it dirty. Nothing cutesy playing at being dirty—if you’re a clean, Polly pure type, this isn’t for you, and you might get hurt feelings in here. You’ve been warned, so proceed with filthy caution.
By Harper Lewis6 days ago in Poets
My Little Chickadee
It’s probably no surprise that I absolutely adore Mae West, author of some of the best one-liners ever penned or spoken on this earth. I learned about My Little Chickadee in undergrad, when I was in the English department chatting with Cowboy Mike, our lit-to-film guru, and he told me sbout it, told me that Mae West and W.C. Fields wrote their own dialogue for this 84-minute gem. But that’s not strictly true: they wrote the entire screenplay, not just their own dialogue.
By Harper Lewis9 days ago in Critique
The Basement . Content Warning.
I don’t like the basement. I try not to go down there, but sometimes I have to. It’s where you have to go when you’ve been bad, even if nobody knows. I prop the door open when I go down there, and I put a brick in tbe doorjamb, too. I’m not getting trapped in a spooky basement with that big bleeding Jesus heart. Uh-uh, not me.
By Harper Lewis10 days ago in Horror
Nine Souls for a Bloody Mary. Content Warning.
If you think back to the autumn into winter challenges, you may remember that I found the villanelle challenge psychologically abusive and you may have accepted a free pass to my insanity show in one of these pieces. (Fuck you, Vocal, for that villanelle of regret challenge. I hope it was as torturous for the team to read them as it was for me, as it's only fair to reap what you sow. (Parentheses intentionally left open. Did it again.
By Harper Lewis10 days ago in Writers
