⸘jason alan‽
Bio
:::WARNING:::
i am only responsible for what i say,
not for what you understand.
you may learn to be charmed by my [secret‽] discontent,
or you may not.
Achievements (1)
Stories (235)
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my apologies
for my part in our past, i am sorry. i am overbearing and reactionary- an emotional catalyst, radioactive- unbothered by the looming promise of unending fallout until the long winter begins to settle, denied the cyclical change of season. i never needed to be the last voice left spoken, ever so ungently, i just wanted to be heard, but my explosive nature overtook my meaning.
By ⸘jason alan‽4 years ago in Poets
A.similie.AIN'T.me [Assimilate Me]
i don't want an advocate, nor do i care if you need to be my adversary. deligate discordance with unspoken intent as if it is a favor given to deny yourself involved. lament innocence, no more than an agent caught in the radius of conflict- the amount of possibility between throwing a tantrum or throwing in the towel dwarf the chances to withstand the fallout hand in hand not any new-clear option. you can enact your revised vision and keep your all or nothing tactics to yourself, or not- i accept you as you come, and still i do; not to limit by indiscretion or autonomy because this is not a competition of mutual exclusions. i am indifferent, and i am pragmatic, and you manifest as antagonism. the closer to the truth we get, the closer to a mutual reluctant exceptance of the other rather the story not redacted, without peremptory command of the narrative. the truth has more than one flavor but i bite my tongue to make half-truth taste like blood; i don't ask you to stop but i'll tell you when i've had enough. i won't ask you to make the goal to do what's right when you chose already knowing what it means to you, to me, to the ubiquitous and obligatory 'u' plus or minus 's'. if i don't dispute it that doesn't mean it's not worth fighting for; when i don't dispute it that just means you're not worth fighting with. i can't pretend a war does any one of us justice.
By ⸘jason alan‽4 years ago in Poets
you know what i mean.
i'd be laughing cause i don't just understand what's so funny, but i AM the joke; falling in line but not in love, yet still i always march to the beat of my own drum so long as your inflammatory practices are labeled as flattery. commence renewed efforts in outlining the fault assigned. then you're free to resequence misinformation as needed. when you don't speak to converse but just to affirm your own posterity it simply amplifies your unmistakably lone voice. dismissal issued out with vague accusations, but YOU are all the discord you feel. there is so much more meaning in participation and that is what you're afraid of- you know what i mean? i'm sure it's just me, not possibly you. matches and gas-lighting are more than children's toys. they may seem like entertainment but be careful of who and what you set ablaze. these accommodations will leave you and your peer-review not wanting for any benefit while evasively cultivating doubt; reasonable or not you remain a mystery to me. the majority may wish to give the hard side of their changing rule of thumb. even still, the character arc of ethics never changes beyond resignation to its rut of ugliness and intuition: the wheels that make our world go ‘round now ride axels that are bent and broken from driving down hope with all the best intentions under-developed in all the worst ways. one-size-fits-all-hoaxes to fit any narrative. easily increase your wealth by assuming the worst of me before i can even see you- a rapid realignment and posture by taking any liberty provided by hopeless romance just as the self-evident truths, rooted as one with “We the people...” and inalienable by definition, disenfranchised all but the men behind the parchment. course through history and you’ll find the truth was usually seen as blasphemy first and its prophets deemed dangerous and crazed. you still know what my words mean while you ignore what i say. i am begging your pardon and for communal audit, not authority. to deny me, whose ethos does that define more as less or lacking?
By ⸘jason alan‽4 years ago in Poets
KARMA-KAZI
don't tell me i'm not worth IT just because i care too much. as if it's something i ought to be ashamed of after you told me how good we felt together- keep all the attention and love drugs you think i'm after- proclaim yourself a prize to be had as if you could live up to that artificial standard in this clumsily inseminated mistruth. you might think i look as lost as you are, but i'm not so hopeless as i'm intentional. i always hit what i aim for and get where i'm going.
By ⸘jason alan‽4 years ago in Poets
what's with today these days?
Saturday- lying in bed- definitely not the fourth of July. the occasional minor victory in adulting- four months procrastinated- punctuates my day against the ever-so-real struggles of life. it embodies all that is anything but celebratory. the day need not even be named as it is merely one among many in what feels like an endless string of melancholy, and i know it doesn't matter if i call it ANY other time or place in the universe... or just HERE, TODAY... yesterday, today, tomorrow- these words strung together as are the days of the week seem to highlight their meaninglessness. but still i tap each letter and space into words and into place, rearranging them with more ease than i am able to form the foundations of viable social productivity. these words and i don't always agree, but with enough effort we usually come to a basic understanding. leaps and bounds beyond what i am able to find looking in the empty boxes on the calendar, neglected for days, weeks, or months at any given time... i didn't actively choose to live like this, crushed under rising pressure of meeting the basic requirements of existence- it's more of what i chose to ignore that took on this life-draining-force of its own. so now i need not ask "WHAT'S WITH TODAY THESE DAYS!?," but demand to know what will i do differently before i can't because it's too late...
By ⸘jason alan‽4 years ago in Poets
