Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist
Bio
I fell in love with speculative fiction and poetry many years ago, but I have precious little time to write any. Then, I went crazy and started a cult called metAlchemy, or meta alchemy. I revere energy of all brands, esp. good, kind chaos.
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confessions of a madwoman
for about three months, i forgot how to write. i couldn't draw or do much of anything creative but nothing terrified me on such an existential level as forgetting how to write. see, i had a condition called serotonin syndrome, an artificial build-up of the happiness chemical in my brain and it almost killed me. no joke, look it up. that particular side effect (of a cocktail of medications including a migraine preventative that was the last to be replaced) is a mortality risk and a half and i was grappling with the consequences of it at the same time as an identity crisis caused in part by the only viable solution to serotonin syndrome: serotonergic cessation. no serotonin aids for weeks. around that time i started having seizures whenever i tried to engage my imagination. it was hell. it still hurts a little to wrench the words from my subconscious to the surface and i'm twitching a bit because of it, but i'm afraid if i don't start writing again i'll never get back into the habit and this year has cost me so much already. i lost my mind, my career, my identity, my libido, possibly my marriage, definitely my sense of safety, and at least one extremely good friend whose loss i'm not allowed to grieve except at my therapist and buried in the lines of prose i scream into the void. i am profoundly alone and simultaneously surrounded by people who love me and it is the most surreal experience of my life. i'm in the middle of a full-blown PTSD resurgence, blending childhood and adult traumas together into a nightmarish hellscape that overlaps reality like a superimposed photograph all. the. time. and i'm having some kind of midlife crisis regarding my spirituality but lack of religious belief that led me to start a cult (which i will definitely be linking to when i finish writing this because shameless self promotion is the modus operandi). but in my defense the model is terribly unprofitable because the point is to crowd-source the epiphany to the masses, which means free access to all. the most important bits of the philosophy are completely free, from the playlist augury (which you can use to listen to the will of the universe once you tune it to your channel, so to speak) to the three mantras (which guide everyday decisions in the moment) to the twelve principles (which guide overall values and morals). they play off each other to create an implication of further values, but lack the strict methodical proscription of religious dogma. alchemy doesn't care how you get there, or even what you call it. all that matters is that you serve the equilibrium, the balance of the universe, the source of the energy, or your God by doing good things that adhere to the principles and live according to the mantras. if you don't want to use the playlist augury, you don't have to. be hyperpresent in your own body and do something that feels good while you think about who you are and what your place is in the world. mine is behind a screen, ranting like a crazy person (because I am a crazy person) about my nervous breakdown, my new cult, my impending bankruptcy, my new name, my rock bottom, my activist art that no one buys (but they should, since i don't even get a piece of some of them, so there will be another link here), my marriage, my mother... pretty much anything. so when i forgot how to write, i've never been so scared of anything in my life.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist4 months ago in Confessions
so i started the world's worst cult
i really did start the world's least lucrative cult. i gave the real secret techniques away on my patreon already. there are three practical exercises: the playlist augury technique, the three mantras, the twelve principles. the "that chick is crazy crazy" techno-psycho-babble bits are optional extras, and only one of them costs anything to read. the secret recipes to fine-tune your psyche with your favorite music, without having to change religions or start one if you are a non-believer? they're coming to patreon this weekend for $1/each (of three).
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist4 months ago in Confessions
Meet Maia Gadwall: My Alter Ego. Content Warning.
I needed time and space to decide who I want to be on the record, and it’s been a wild ride. First, you won’t find me on Meta or X these days. I left the social media broligarchy behind in favor of Discord and Bluesky — ah, decentralized and de-Nazified socialization, like Myspace Tom used to make. Enter my nom de guerre: Maia Gadwall.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist8 months ago in The Swamp
An Open Letter to White Americans with Trump Voter Remorse or Protest Voter Persecution Syndrome. Content Warning.
As you can see from my neon glow in the headshot above, I am a white person in all ways that matter. It is, therefore, my responsibility to call attention to some… fallacious efforts to foster camaraderie among those seeking to “join the other side” after voting for Trump or failing to vote against him. There are far too many mayo sapiens expecting a sudden epiphany to the existence of other people to absolve their sins.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist10 months ago in The Swamp
If They Could See US Now…. Content Warning.
I’m not going to pretend these men were without their own flaws; they were racist to a one and each have a coffer of sins to himself. However, they were able to set aside their bigotry enough to land on the right side of history when it counted most. Their words roused a nation of patriots against tyranny and oppression, and it’s not hard to see what Patrick Henry, Abraham Lincoln, and F.D.R. would say if they could see us now — bending the knee to a tyrant in the hallowed halls of the Capitol…
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist10 months ago in The Swamp
How Vocal Helped Me Publish My Breakout Poetry Collection. Top Story - May 2023.
As an author and poet, publishing my first collection, My Ku: Haiku and Variations, is a significant milestone in my career. This collection of haikus and variations showcases my passion for poetry and it only seemed right to give credit where it's due.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 years ago in Poets
Good Mourning
Don't sit up too fast. Being dead will really take it out of you. Sorry. I guess I should have eased into that reveal a bit. I just started on the welcome committee and you're my first arrival so congratulations and condolences are both in order.
By Maia Gadwall the metAlchemist3 years ago in Fiction
