Stephanie Van Orman
Bio
I write novels like I am part-printer, part book factory, and a little girl running away with a balloon. I'm here as an experiment and I'm unsure if this is a place where I can fit in. We'll see.
Stories (114)
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The Books on a Shelf
My parents were not into home decorating. One time they went out to buy a piece of art to cover a bare bit of wall over a sofa. They went to the store and fought in front of the framed pictures for three hours. They came home with a water lily painting by Monet because that was the only thing they could agree on. This story kills me because I can't think of anything less style-neutral than a water lily painting by Monet. In any case, we owned four humongous bookcases which covered most of the rest of the available wall space.
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Confessions
Writers Exchange Reviews
I'm a novelist and I love getting reviews for my books. I like them because they say things like, 'I loved this book. I read it all night. I couldn't put it down.' Or, 'I don't usually read books like this, but I gave this one a shot and it surprised me over and over. It was a really great read.' Or, my absolute favorite, 'This is the best book I've read on this site.'
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Journal
It's Okay If You Don't Read My Book
"I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to reading your book! I've been so busy lately." That's one of my friends talking. It doesn't matter which one. A lot of them say that. I don't mind and I mean I REALLY don't mind when my friends don't get around to reading my books. Particularly the dudes. If you're a dude and you haven't gotten around to reading my books... it's all for the best. REALLY.
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Journal
Skip Sleeping Beauty
As a novelist, I'm always thinking of the best medium for a story to be told. Epic fantasy should be in video game format so that you can kill the monsters yourself. That would be far more satisfying than watching someone else do it. Mysteries should be in movie format because a cozy mystery should never take more than one night to complete. It's even better if you can cuddle with someone on the couch. Opera should not be played on the radio in the car. You should only listen to opera in an opera house. Outside its context, it's hollow and strange. I can understand the presentation of fairy tales in different formats, but Sleeping Beauty should be used in only one way. Let me take you there.
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Families
Traumatizing Dresses
You might begin reading this story about a traumatizing wedding dress thinking that is about how I carefully bought a wedding dress, poured all my little girl dreams into it only to have my groom horrifically betray me and for me to burn my wedding dress in an old oil drum at the dock. This is not that story, but I'd read that in a heartbeat.
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Marriage
The Autism Talk
On occasion, a parent will approach me and whisper in a hushed tone, "I think my child is autistic." I turn on them and say without any whispering or muttering because I am no where near as fearful as they are, "If you think your child is autistic, they probably are."
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Families
If I Click On That... I Will Be Punished. Top Story - August 2023.
The other day, I saw a story pop up on my newsfeed about a controversial film that was recently released. I will not tell you the name of the film, as that might color the way you read this article. Besides, it is not important. The important thing is that I wanted to learn more about it, but I hesitated to press the link. If I pressed that link, my preferences would be changed and I would get hordes of stories of a similar nature.
By Stephanie Van Orman2 years ago in Futurism
Johnny Mnemonic Gets A Different Story
As I am the novelist of six science fiction novels, I feel I can comment on this film and how it is confused. 'Johnny Mnemonic' is about a man who has given up his childhood memories in order to become a walking USB memory stick by storing sensitive information in his brain for travel. *SPOILER ALERT* At the end of the film, he gets his childhood memories back and they're so idealized that one has to wonder if they are real. Balloons? Grass? We haven't seen a blade of grass the entire film with the entire thing taking place in concrete jungles.
By Stephanie Van Orman3 years ago in Futurism
My Top Movies From 90s Top Actresses
I love movies! But I especially liked watching movies in the 90s. With that in mind, I got the internet to give me a list of the top ten actresses from the 90s. I'm going to shout out my favorite of their 90s films. Ready?
By Stephanie Van Orman3 years ago in Journal
When I Bleed From More Than One Place
I told Chris I was coming over to watch some movies with him before the dance. It was the most hilarious thing. I was sitting on one end of the sectional couch and he was sitting on the other, meaning there was room for at least five teenagers to sit between us. His parents were on their way out, having a big night on the town, but before they left, his mom was stuttering something to us. Something about how we weren't supposed to make out. She was deadly serious.
By Stephanie Van Orman3 years ago in Confessions
The Lord of the Night
Of all my boyfriends, I only officially dated one guy from my hometown. I was having a bad night and I wondered to myself how long it would take me to get Benjamin to ask me out. As it turned out, it took two and a half hours. Why does no one want to play hard-to-get with me? Why does every guy just give me what I want?
By Stephanie Van Orman3 years ago in Confessions
