Embarrassment
Hot Nuts
A foreword to the reader: this hilariously unfortunate story is dynamically better when I tell it in person, and I would like to take this moment to apologize in advance that you are not here to hear me tell it. I hope you get half as much enjoyment from words on the page than the scores of individuals before you who have laughed and simultaneously wept heartily while being held fully captive to my whimsical diatribe. I dedicate this in memory of Dr. John Ayers, a good doctor and better friend.
By Tim Hearne5 years ago in Confessions
Getting Roasted by Professionals
My 2002 Toyota Camry was my new home, and I was proud of it. I had an inflatable mattress in the back seat, a propane camping stove, my skateboard, and 8,000 dollars saved up from working the Harvest season at a winery in Sebastopol CA. Now, I was on the road. Free. I dumped my girlfriend and headed south on Highway 1 with the windows down and a smile pin on my face. I had just replaced the drivers side window motor myself, which made the breeze of the ocean air feel much more rewarding. I had no responsibilities, no obligations, and no plans. I felt as good as I ever have that first night. The sun was setting over the Pacific and I was cruising at fifty miles per hour just south of Big Sur, taking the winding highway as fast as the Camry would allow. On each ascent I’d have the gas pedal on the floor, wondering if I’d reach the crest. I always did, but always with the tan Camry begging for mercy.
By Raisin Brazon5 years ago in Confessions
Classified
Shortly before leaving Eielson AFB in Alaska and heading for Del Rio, Texas, we went on a tour of the Fairbank's newspaper. When reading about the newspaper's tour, my initial thought and reaction, at the time, was about the tour is a learning experience and how educational it would be for my son and daughter who attended elementary school. At that time, my mind never once considered or had an interest in any position at a newspaper. It was all about the kids, but, that was about to change. My creative instincts were awakened in the advertising department of Fairbank's newspaper. Everything the Director of Advertising said piqued my interest. All of a sudden, my thoughts were focused on working at a newspaper in the advertising department.
By Babs Iverson5 years ago in Confessions
Mangers
Managers Vs Their "Product " and " Their Fans" To be honest, I didn't know where nor how to explain this ,but knowing people who are famous sometimes is hard . It's where you meet people online and have to live with the fact that there are people out here who assume that you shouldn't be allowed to speak with them and also have no rights ,but that's how human interaction not human nature is. When you meet someone or somebody you like to know where their head no matter.what gender, sex ,. creed nor status. I mean that's what how human nature is right? No. Not for all ...better yet never for their mangers or CEOs that control their life.
By Erica Williams5 years ago in Confessions
Closet Kleidariaphobia
Closet Kleidariaphobia by Mary Haynes I hate locks; they're annoying. I wish everyone would just behave and keep out of other people's stuff, so nothing had to be secured. I'm convinced locks have taken years off my life., I’m tired of fumbling in my purse hunting for keys and searching all over the house for them. I don’t want to jump out of bed late at night to check to see if I locked the doors. It all disrupts the flow; it disturbs my chi. I've locked myself out of cars, out of hotel rooms several times, once while swimming in the hotel’s outdoor pool. I've even locked myself inside a room of an old house when the skeleton key broke off in the door.
By Mary Haynes5 years ago in Confessions
It Happens!. Top Story - April 2021.
I am a stand-up comedian. I have been doing comedy regularly since the mid-2000s. In 2011, I had a paying feature gig at a comedy club called Sidesplitters in Knoxville, Tennessee. I had featured there a few times, and this time, I was featuring for comedian Jose Sarduy who was a super nice guy and very funny.
By Christy Eidson5 years ago in Confessions
Hangers
Of course it's not the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to anyone. It hardly seems worth taking the time to talk about. So insignificant. So mundane. Practically boring. Silly actually. I mention it only because it is the kind of thing that can occur when one is rushed. A result of other's demands and impatience with us. Had it been up to me. If I were in control and less prone to give precedence to the whims and wishes of others, my memory would be unstained. I would not still fall victim to the cry of "tell about the time..." that never fails to find me at social gatherings.
By Bernice E Cabral5 years ago in Confessions
The Art of An Awkward Conversation
In the not so distance past, I received a phone call that begun with the caller asking me, “Do you know what happened to me today?" Innocently, I replied, "No." How could I guess, really? The caller then reported, "I shit my pants!" The person on the other end of the call appeared to be just as surprised about this news as I was as I held the phone to my ear. My first thought, if this had happened to me (and I was alone) this incident would have been taken to my grave unreported. However, it felt surprisingly consequential to be the "chosen one" bestowed with this terribly sensitive information.
By Amy Solt5 years ago in Confessions
Frog With Glasses
On one particular evening, I saw a sweatshirt that popped up on my Instagram feed. This shirt came in several different colors, but the print on it is what captured me. I was instantly possessed by an unexplainable force and before I knew it, I clicked, paid and waited. Somehow all rationale thought was not available at the time of purchase. On the front of the shirt was a print of a frog wearing oversized glasses. Picture a green head, the size of a bowling ball, coming out of my ribs wearing huge costume glasses. I’m sure it had a body too, but it was much smaller. The depiction was caricature like. When I looked into the creature’s eyes I was under control that was not my own. This green toad with glasses was most definitely incongruent with my normal fashion sense as my closet is flooded with solid black and various shades of gray. This piece of clothing was a fashion abomination that I quickly had to make part of my wardrobe.
By Amy Solt5 years ago in Confessions
Massage without a happy ending
I like a good massage - I get tension in my shoulders and hamstrings that I find a deep muscle massage really helps with. One time I was on holiday with my wife in Fiji, and she wanted to go to the spa and have her hair done, and recommended that I get a massage - seeing as I like them so much. I was a little put off by the 'menu' of services, where they were focussed on "organic" oils and on the "experience" with pretty Asian women holding bowls of exotic fruit and flower petals, so I had a suspicion that this was not going to be like the remedial muscle massages I have had in the past. Besides, I was not feeling that well - I thought that a cold was coming on, and I find that a massage when not feeling too good will make me feel worse.
By Christian Wickham5 years ago in Confessions
