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Dear Mom, Cat Stevens played through my headphones as I walked the streets of Heredia. I felt tough today, hard, a toothpick hanging from my mouth. All I could think about was him. I suppose I thought about the pain too. I didn’t want to look at the men that watched as I passed by.
By Whitney Hamm4 years ago in Confessions
The Unprotected
The people who were supposed to protect me in life were the ones I feared the most. So when I say I need some time to trust, know that it’s not you, it’s me. I've been let down more times than I can count by the people who “love” me. I’ve been told to smile in public but behind closed doors, I sobbed. I was number one in their hearts, at least to the family but public enemy number one once I got home.
By Tamera Tate4 years ago in Confessions
The Mother I Never Met
To the Mother I never met, I have a secret to share with you. I think about you every Mother’s Day. I think about the fantasy I made as child. I think about the life I might have had. The life I daydreamed about so many times. The imaginary perfect mother, loving, fun, validating. The imaginary house where food was homemade and it smelled like fresh cookies. A place where spills weren’t met with screams and mistakes were forgiven. A place where I was a child and got to be treated as such. A place where I was accepted and loved unconditionally. I lived in that daydream as a child.
By LC Wright4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, I remember when life used to be more simple, when we used to talk and be around each other. Now, over a thousand miles lays between us, but that’s not the biggest distance between us. I remember growing up when I felt like it was all about family, how you and Dad would try to preach about how important it was to protect one another and stick together. That was until the illusion shattered. Growing up I never noticed the things around me, like every kid I suppose, but with me, it might have been delusions. I always felt like you and Dad loved one another and were happy. I still think back to the night before we left, when you and Dad were insulting one another, I dare not say what was yelled at one another. I also remember vividly you waking me up and making me choose to stay or to leave, I was barely eleven years old, yet I made a massive decision. I don’t regret leaving, or living with Steven, your new boyfriend, he was more of a model father figure than Dad ever would have been. But, I do regret not telling Steven how I felt about him before he took his own life when you were sneaking back to Dad. I regret most of all; letting you make me feel guilt for his death, for you making me take care of you even though I was tweleve and saw my first dead body when we found him. I regret letting you always control situations and the narrative. We haven’t spoken now in over a year, I am twenty-four now, I live in a beautiful home, with my amazing, supportive girlfriend of almost eight years, I am happy now knowing I can make my own decisions without you manipulating me. I do still love you which is what hurts the most, I don’t blame you for how you are as an adult, you are to blame for some of it, but I know you had bad parents. I however, will not repeat the cycle you did, I was in therapy, something you never did, and will continue to work on myself and be better so if I ever have kids, they will know nothing but love and stability. I only wish you were different so you could share my life and journey with me. I forgive you for all the cruel and hurtful things you said about me, my decisions, and path I have chosen, but I will never forgive you for how you talked to my girlfriend. I wish you wanted different and wanted to be a better person, even if not for me, but for yourself, but you are complacent. I had to learn to love myself and learn how to want to be better, it is an everyday struggle but overall I am proud of my progress. I wouldn’t be who I am if it wasn’t for what I went through in life, like you and Dad kicking me out because I wanted to move to a new state with my girlfriend, instead of talking to me and trying to find a compromise, you let Dad kick me out, I will not forget that. I will not forget the bad influence you set for me growing up, it hurts I can’t share the big moments of my life with my family; getting a new house, birthdays, holidays, maybe one day getting married, maybe having kids, all of that. Instead I have to build my own family and luckily I have a new family who loves and cares for me despite my imperfections and despite my mistakes. That is true love, it’s not conditional or about selfish needs, it’s about giving to someone else with no guarantee to get anything in return. I miss you and the rest of the family and I hope you are all doing well, I know I am.
By Dominic Nettles4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Nobody
Dear mom.. Dear mother.. To whom it may concern.. Dear.. nobody.. It seems silly to write this especially since I know it will never be sent and I know that you will never read this. But I'm told it's cathartic to write about your problems.. I don't know who said that or if they ever actually had to do it themselves but I can honestly say it doesn't work. Putting things down on paper that are better left inside my head is never a good idea. But at least I can tear this letter up when I'm done and it'll be like it never existed. I'm still not sure how that is supposed to help me but whatever.
By dclukens 4 years ago in Confessions
What I Never Told You
Dear Mom, Thank you for shaping me into the mom I am today. You never concealed your past from me: the unhealthy family dynamic, a sexually abusive father, a narcissistic mother, and having to become an adult before you were supposed to. You moved me away from the rest of the family to give me a chance to grow into a kind human being. You took me away from the racist and narrow-mindedness of our family and allowed me to be exposed to people from every culture.
By Shannon 4 years ago in Confessions
My Mother's Day Confession
Dear Mom Hey mom I never told you this before, but I’m sorry. I failed again, like I usually do when it comes to what you expect of me. I didn’t become the son you wanted me to be. Instead I have been the biggest burden on you, and I know that it is impossible for me to repay you.
By Marcus Luamba4 years ago in Confessions
I don't say this enough...
Mama, There is an entire world about me you know and one you don’t. The one you currently know is a buss full of beautiful entangles and ugly depths I wish I never let you see. You got to see them all anyway and without judgement even when you were angry, I still knew I was your daughter. The world that is well and alive that isn’t in your site lingers with me every single day. You see mama I have always been strong even when the pain, weakness and feeling of burden carried me. I can’t comprehend or fathom a world where you don’t exist with me here in this form. I never told you this or even admitted it out loud, but I am petrified of not having you here. I know what you’re thinking, I’m crazy. I sound insane to you because you’re the healthiest human being I know and regardless of that fact, I know one day you won’t be here for me to hold. As much as we both are firm proud believers of the afterlife where your soul carries on, this doesn’t eliminate my fear. No matter how in tune I am with people who have already moved on I’m mortified that I won’t be able to be in tune with you. Needless to say, the world you don’t know about me is the existence of fear that I hide in the world you do know.
By Zyla Soul4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, It’s been a never-ending ride on the struggle bus since you been gone. I don’t even know where to begin, your baby boy is now a man…a gay man. Whom has gained some life experiences, been Suicidal, Homeless, and broken? Fighting against the social stigmas that are placed upon me. Fighting against the world filled with people who you never truly get to know, not knowing if someone that you live next to wish death or joy upon you. This world that you left me on alone, even though surrounded by friends and family I was still alone. My world was filled with darkness the day that you were no longer a part of my world, never something that should happen to an eight-year-old. Not only was you gone but our father. the man that we have known to be our father abandoned me and my brother. I was devastated. The two people that was to guide us and show us this world was gone. I can only imagine how my older brothers felt.
By Levert Frederick 4 years ago in Confessions
If Only
Dear mom, Here I write to you a confession of the things I wish I had the courage to say before it was too late to change my ways and go down the path you wished I had went down. If only I sat down and listened to your words of wisdom instead of walking away from something that could have changed my life. If only I would have told you I was interested in the same sex earlier maybe you would have accepted my partner. I could day dream about all the what ifs but it would not change the fact that I stand here today on the other side of the country thousands of miles away. The only thing I have now are these words that will not ever reach you because maybe deep down inside I do not want them to reach you.
By Bethany Misner4 years ago in Confessions
