A Kindred Outsider

My mother was Janie Lee. I neva knew my Paw. They say I got 2 brothers, but I ain't never did know them my whole life. All I know'd is Massah and Madame Laura tell me what to fix morning and supper, and to see 'bout the house. I makes real good sure to tend to the house, 'cause I don't want no lashes like they been know'd to hand out at will. Massah run off to go fight. He been gone quite some time now. I see Madame don't much know what to do wit herself since Massah ain't 'round to hear her fuss and moan. She liable to carry on such a fuss about just ol' anythang. She say, "Ruby Lee!! Get down here now!!" I fix to call on her as soon as I can, and when I get there, she look at me like she don't quite know what she want yet. So, I stays close by 'til she figure what's next. Mama told me while ago, when I was a young chillun, "...if you stay on the ready, you can save yo'self." Madame like to makin' quilts and thangs, but they don't look too fit to be sold. One side don't fit the otha...but she stay quiet in her chair when she sew. Since Massah been gone, that's 'bout all she do. I can hear her comin' down the hall and the wicker squeak. Then I hear her drop the basket on the flo' next to her chair. She look at me a while like I done some thangs to her, but I just tries to keep her settled. When Massah ain't lookin' she may just haul off and slap me fa no reason I understand. I wonder when Massah be back. Mama Janie up and passed a while back before the harvest come in. She gone...but she stay with me in my heart all the day long. I can smell cherry oak like it's set ablaze. Madame say it's gunfire from that war over yonder. Ain't been much o' nobody come to the house since the war started. Except for that fancy lawyer. He come 'bout a week before Massah left, seem like ages ago now. I sleeps up in the attic. Can't much stretch my feets and legs out, and it give me trouble when the crickets wake me up before daybreak. Madame must miss Massah mighty bad. She ain't lookin' quite like she do most days, but she still look at me cold and dark in the eyes. But, I look again today and she ain't moved out her chair one bit. I lean close and see'd she ain't got no breath in her no mo'. I brush her hand and it's just as cold as her eyes. I believe Madame don' gone on home to be with the Lord, if he'll have her. Just as I was fixin' to carry her out and clean things up nice for Massah, that fancy lawyer come callin'. He say Massah died in that war, and I is free to go on about my way. He say he got people to take care of Madame. I say, "FREE?!" He say real nervous like, "Yeah. Ruby, you free." I grabbed Madame's handbasket, and in such a tremble it dropped on the floor. The bottom fell out, and a little black book. That fancy lawyer picked up the book, and was reading it. He asked, "Can you read?" I say, "Some, Sir.". He hand it to me. I see, "On this 27th day of March 1861, I declare in the event of my death, I leave my house, all property, 168 acres of farmable land, 6 horses, 2 mules, $20,000 and noteable assets to my living heir, and only daughter: Ruby Lee". That fancy lawyer shook like a leaf outdoors on the tree. I shake with my mouf hung open right wit him...look like I know'd my Paw all along.