I really just won the Lotto

I jumped in the little puddles one by one with my face turned up towards the sun. I felt the glow of it spread across my cheeks as I continued to step.

“This is fun… ”

The closer I got to the big terrace in front of me I realized that there was more being hidden by the shadows of sunlight. A figure stood before me looking oddly familiar.

“…what the hell?…”

Dread seeped into my body as I got closer to the terrace. The shape was definitely familiar…and getting closer.

“...I should turn around…”

The sunlight disappeared into a frightening darkness. I tried to stop moving but my feet continued without permission. The closer I got, the clearer the image became. Forming itself into a torso, arms, legs and a head. As the features began coming more into focus I realized why they were so familiar. It was my mom, yet it wasn’t. Her face was different and it shocked me. Not her own face, like an older version of my own. Looking at an older version of me sent chills through my spine.

My mother held her hands out beckoning for me to hurry towards her. I couldn’t. I stayed at turtle speed until I was standing inches away from my own eyes. The face that didn’t match the body winked and the hand that wasn’t mine reached out towards me. I shied away from her but glancing at her hand I realized she held something inside it. Green, and crumbled up I recognized immediately what it was. A dollar bill.

“…wha-…”

She smiled and grabbed my hand to bring it up to her own. She placed the crumbled bill in it and pressed it to my chest.

“…”

It was so good to see her face that I didn’t even care about the dollar. I ignored her open hand and walked forward to embrace her. Her face turned angry and she shoved the dollar into my chest, stopping me from hugging her.

“mom…I don’t understand, what does this mean…”

All around us turned black and her image started to blur. A sound that was annoying and oddly familiar started blaring in the background.

I didn’t want her to go so bad. My heart started to ache as the sound got louder.

“don’t leave...”

The monotone blaring sound started to surround us like a million church bells were ringing in my ears. Her body began to disappear into smoke like she was melting away. I could feel tears running down my face but no sound or sobs came out.

My heart felt heavy as I came to my senses and realized the sound was my alarm. The soft pillows surrounding my head became solid and the blankets that reached up to my face tickled my chin. I didn’t want to open my eyes yet. I could still see her face a little bit.

I layed there for what seemed like two minutes and decided to open my eyes. It was rough to look around my room and let the feelings from my dream settle. Yet I did it anyway, just like almost every other morning.

Purring approached me and I saw Puny coming up to greet me for his morning cuddles. I let him climb onto my chest and started to rub his belly.

“what the fuck did that shit mean”

I reached over across my pillows to the floor where my backpack was. I pulled my little black notebook out of my backpack that i used as my “remember” journal and quickly scribbled the details about the dream so I wouldn’t forget.

I climbed out of bed and the cool air hit my skin harder than expected. I switched my heater to high and went to the kitchen to heat up my coffee. I had made it yesterday but the thought of making fresh coffee made me queasy. Definitely too tired from my night, so I put a mug in the microwave instead.

I watched the mug go around in circles in the microwave.

“just take it easy on yourself today”

I had been suffering panic attacks all week and my mind was just starting to calm down. I was surprised that seeing mom’s face didn’t send me into psychosis, but there was still time.

I went back to the bedroom and began getting dressed for my job while Puny attempted to attack my pant strings. He was almost successful until I took them off and threw them into the hamper. The look I received screamed “betrayal” and he got up to go play with his stuffed penguin instead.

“Bra…underwear…socks…pant...shirt”

I grabbed my hot bag, backpack and keys and walked out the door. I turned around briefly before shutting and looked back at Puny. “Behave yourself hoe”. I saluted him and shut the door behind me.

….

The scenery around my car started to blur together as I let my mind wander. I snapped out of the zone and looked down at my maps.

“FUCK…”

I realized two exits too late that I'd missed my turn.

“jesus….” I sighed.

I continued to drive until I got to the next exit that would take me where I needed to go. I went down the ramp and continued down the street past our huge stop light until I reached the house I was delivering to.

“Took me long enough to get your damn food…”

I left their McDonald’s order on their porch and snapped a picture of it before getting back in the car.

I never understood why people would spend thirty dollars to get one meal delivered to them. If I ever got that type of money, I wouldn't waste it on stupid things.

I got back in the car and turned it on. Almost immediately the gas light turned on.

“IT NEVER ENDS DOES IT”

I threw my phone onto the seat beside me and started my short journey to the gas station down the street. I barely had enough money to fill up the tank but I had to work deliveries all day or the light bill wouldn’t get paid this month. And I definitely couldn’t do that without gas.

I pulled into the Shell and parked at the furthest pump. I put my debit card in the slot and a notification popped up.

“See Cashier”.

I snatched my debit card out of the slot and threw my head up to the sky. I angrily pulled my mask over my face and walked into the gas station.

There were a few people in line so I took a second to look at the lighters and lottery tickets on the counter. I planned on smoking a fat blunt when I got home from working and I had lost my lucky lighter earlier that week. Using the stove to light my blunts since tuesday was extremely tedious. Good thing lighters were only a dollar. It wouldn't take a chunk out of my gas money.

As I continued to look for a new lighter a weird sensation came over me as my eyes passed over a yellow one. I remembered yellow being my mother’s favorite color and it immediately made me think of the dream I had. My eyes continued to move down further to one of the yellow lottery tickets and I stopped. Something screamed at me to grab it. Everything in my body said “grab that ticket...yes...that one right there”. I couldn't help but think about how I shouldn't be paying for a useless lottery ticket when I barely had enough for gas. But somehow i couldn’t help it.

So I grabbed it.

I paid for the ticket, gas, and lighter before walking back to the pump. There were so many weird sensations going through my body that I just couldn’t explain.

I felt eerie and out of focus. Like I was watching my own life happen and was outside of my own body.

I took the lottery ticket out of the small brown bag that the gas station gave me for my purchases. I gave it a solid look over and decided to start scratching with the penny from my wallet. I scratched all the film off of the numbers and looked to see what they were. Nothing special I guess, they looked like normal numbers. However, everything inside me screamed “CHECK, CHECK, CHECK”.

What had just happened in the gas station made me feel that I shouldn't just throw this one away like I usually did. I didn’t really know how lottery tickets worked but I knew I had to look up which numbers matched my card. I took my phone out and Google searched which numbers were drawn this week. I lined my ticket up with the edge of my phone so i could see the numbers directly next to each other, and began scrolling through the list of winners. I was almost to the edge of the list and I hadn’t matched my numbers yet. Feeling disappointed but not surprised I stopped at the next one.

“Wow.”

It was almost the same but not quite. I kept scrolling until I saw one that was exact, down to the very last number.

“Oh my god…”

I stared at it.

I couldn't believe it actually matched.

“This can’t be happening right now…”

I shifted my eyes to the right to see the dollar amount that was matched with the ticket.

It said $20,000 and my jaw immediately dropped.

I went back to my google search and immediately looked up the nearest claims center. I remembered that much about the lottery. My mother had won years ago and she took me to one of these places to cash out her prize.

It was only 7 minutes away.

I buckled my seatbelt, my heart racing. I literally could not believe what was happening.

“Calm down Lili, don't get your hopes up…”

I pulled into the claims center and parked my car. I pulled my keys out of the ignition and sat still in my seat.

I looked through my windshield and almost laughed at what I saw. On the side of the building, planted in the little garden area directly in front of the spot I chose, was a rose bush.

And on that rose bush were yellow roses.

I almost fell trying to get out of the car so fast. I almost ran all the way into the building.

I walked up to the man at the window with my yellow lottery ticket in hand and he looked up as I approached.

“Can I help you?”

“Yessir I was just trying to see if this ticket is a winner”

He beckoned for me to give him the ticket through the window hole and I placed it in his fingers. He placed it on the counter and scanned it with his scanner. He looked at his computer for a couple of seconds.

The silence was eerie as we waited for the results to come through. I was beyond nervous and his lack of interaction with me made my nervousness worse.

The computer beeped and he grabbed my lotto ticket.

“Congratulations ma’am, you’ve won $20,000! Please have a seat while i get your paperwork”

He smiled quickly for half a second and then his face went back to serious. He got up to go get the papers and I started slowly backpedaling until I hit one of the plush chairs. I sat down and started tearing up.

“Everything so far was a sign... Mom would be so proud of me.” I laughed in my head. “I finally listened to her for once.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t believe she was still saving my ass from the grave. The things I could do with this money...

This really, could not possibly be happening.

I sat there and cried while I waited for my paperwork.