I wrote this for you mom

Things my mom taught me? I mean there is the obvious walk, talk, blah blah blah. I love my mom, but she is not my hero. I’m not sure if she weren’t my mom that we would even be friends. I lived with her father for a while, and I get it. I know, or at least have a pretty good idea of how she was raised. He was probably worse when he was younger. We are a product of our circumstances and everyone on this earth is just trying their best to get from point A to point B.

I guess one could say my mom taught me how to be independent. We were not neglected, but there was not much supervision. My mom just always trusted that wherever we were, we were fine. And we were. I had an ok childhood, but I was never what my mom envisioned. I was not turning out the way I was supposed to. I am completely aware that without my mom I would not be who I am today and today I believe I am a good person. She taught me that I wasn’t getting fat, but I should probably lay off the mac and cheese. I still remember when her father told me that “I wasn’t getting any younger and if I was going to marry for money, I should do it now.” I get it, but I had you as a parent and here I am. I hope I would never say something like that to my kids seriously. Sarcastically maybe. My sister with the same birthday is just like you.

Maybe I could say she taught me I was different. Being different in my family wasn’t a good thing, which is crazy because her job is what made me different. My mom’s job was with the rodeo. Tight jeans, boots and a shirt. I wanted baggy clothes and shirts with clever sayings; “The Devil’s Clothes”. My parents were in the rodeo and my grandparents were in the circus. Maybe I always knew I was different.

The most important thing my mom taught me is to be strong. I really didn’t have a choice. I had to fight if I wanted to express myself, I had to fight for what I wanted. I know this lesson wasn’t on purpose, but I have become a rubber band; nothing can break me.

Things she taught me on purpose that still impact my life include but are not limited to making Lemon Pepper Chicken and Mashed Potatoes. My all time favorite. My kids hate it. I don't care because I am my mothers daughter.

I love and appreciate my mom but maybe sharing all of these stories that only feature the moments where our moms are “the best” does more harm than good. Let’s all acknowledge that being a mom is hard and most moms are struggling with demons at the same time. Maybe you think your mom was selfish because she worked all the time. Maybe she thought she was sacrificing now so you could have a better future. Maybe my mom thought I would eat healthier after the mac and cheese comment, but how could she know I would say it in the mirror every day for the rest of my life? We never truly realize the impact of the ripples we create, the people we help create. Hindsight is 20/20 but who can afford health insurance and vision? My mom is a good person who did the best she could with what she had. So for her I will forever be grateful because now I’m also a good person doing the best I can.