grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
The Beginning of My Life
nd th afave been thI am starting a new chapter in my life wanting to share what I have been through. I have taught myself everything up until now being on my own since the age of 15. I have endured so much being so young, coming across so many people with the wrong judgment of you, and the worst part is when your family is so judgmental you tend to set things straight when they find out what you have been through. Not believing you because remind you when you have help, it is totally different. When you are actually alone, back up against the wall, learning, it is the hardest thing you can go through mentally, and physically. Being you and people take an advantage of you because they know you are alone. I have been robbed by people i loved, loved, did not know, and knew but never k ew why it happened. I am suffering for just trying to even make something of my own, but when I get where I am trying to go, a simple life then I will always keep it and be happy. Maybe one day, I will have a future to grow on. People seem to change when they see you want better, seeing you struggle and realizing they really wanted nothing to do with you. Being there for others helping them achieve something just to never see you again. Or when they see you they act as if you are not the one in need. Looking, laughing, name-calling just the things that seem to really be unnecessary. Love seeing you alone, depressed, angry, frustrated. People who love you do not do things like this. I have had friends lost because of the relationships with family. Now, because of my childhood, what I been through, and where, and how I had grown up, this is what people thought of me. This living condition was not on me, I was the child this is what made me runaway at the age of 15. I was tired of a title I did not possess. I wanted my education so bad. I knew this was something I was going to need to live the life I wanted. I started failing and trying on my own because of the age barrier this prevented me from a lot of things I wanted a child. I was on the streets, living with a cousin who I thought would help and love me. I was being used then not knowing. I helped this cousin even years later, get a home they have today. It should have been me. Feeling sorry for the child that I didn't have, but who I loved because she was family I helped. I can't even call her for a ride to the store without giving $10-$15 in gas money. I have not been invited to the home still 2 years later, that I also helped her with. I thought having a boyfriend would keep me company, I was looking for love. But I look up just to be alone, and sick walking to and from work. Sleeping outside waiting on a check to come. He was never anywhere to be found. As if he was watching me because when I was able to finally pay for my room, he knocked on my door. The feelings I had, I was just hurting because I knew he did not love me. But he kept me company. He wouldn't even hold me, I figured he needed a place to stay it was obvious after a while. Working wondering why I could not keep money, going to look for it, and remembering it was only one person in my room, my "boyfriend". He would sit there and watch me cry, he didn't want anything but what I could offer. He was one of the reasons someone kicked my door n, shot my apartment up, stole my belongings. On my second day moving into my apartment, my microwave was stolen and he was the first to know and see my apartment. I lost everything and tried everything I could to do or figure out what I needed to do. To know these types of people stick around for what, knowing you are yearning for something you have always wanted love. Money does not buy happiness, you can spend all you want on someone but when it gets hard no one is there for you. You are lonely and lost. Being like this affects how you interact with people, the way you work, and will have you going in circles although everything you do is because of yourself. When I say I did not look to anyone for things that I have needed, and I worked for my motels, foods, clothing. People look at you laughing because they don't believe it just by how young you are. That is heartbreaking. I just stayed to myself for years, just to have a grown boy come around and use me when his mother put him out, or whoever. The days I have been through I think about the way I was treated, I think about it every day. I may need counseling for emotional support, but I have also realized that maybe this is something I needed to go through. To show me how ugly this world can be. What people think of young girls like me, just by how they look. The way a man can look at you, thinking you are desperate for any type of attention. I am pretty sure if I would have slept with any of those men, something would have happened. I was alone and young. I have been profiled by the police they thought I was prostituting. When the motel manager says "No, she is a good resident and keeps to herself" it shows a lot about the system. Being stereotyped because of the area you are in, and they can stop and see you are on your way to work. I fought with my mother for years, not knowing why she was always upset with me. Being told it was my fault because she was 8 months pregnant walking the stage, and how she should have cut me out her stomach is something I will never forget. A child does not ask to be in this world, especially one that is unwanted. I wanted to play sports, be in musicals but she never showed up. I tried to show her my good grades, she didn't care. I was stuck in a situation I could not get out of. I wanted to be with friends, go out and just have fun, but instead being forced to watch and basically raise your siblings is very hard on a child themselves. My youngest brother called me mom for the longest. I know that is something else she hates me for. I tried to even teach him I was his older sister. I would cry, but he didn't know any better. Having someone who is supposed to guide and love you put their hands on you constantly just for wanting to be pretty, or just go out and talk to the other girls. I was restricted from all communications.
By Khaliyah Bronaugh5 years ago in Families
The Gift
Just after dusk and darkness fast approaching we gathered on the curb of the most dreadful place of my life. At the front door of the Dallas hospital I stood trying to cope with the tragic event of the day. My only son unresponsive laid at death's door beyond this parking lot. Our friends were trying to console us and comfort our greatest fears but their voices fell upon my ears as one of many flowing through my mind. Just as we had decided it was time to depart my husband started walking quickly toward our suburban. We had parked it in valet parking right in front of the hospital. Becoming frustrated with his urgency to leave I called out to him. He continued his pace as though he was ignoring me calling to him. Suddenly I saw the tail lights of our vehicle light up. I did a complete 360 in my mind in warpspeed realizing he was still approaching our vehicle. Commonsense tries to understand how this could be and I soon grasped the idea our truck was being stolen! Oh yes stolen right in front of the hospital on a night that I thought couldn't be worst until now! The thief backed out quickly and my husband grabbed the side mirror jumping on the running board and off they went at a high speed out of the parking lot! My heart turned to butter and my thoughts were a spiderweb yet I knew I must do something! I took off running screaming "call the police, call an ambulance" as I ran past the cars in the intersection putting my hand on their hood as I ran by. In my mind trauma, stress, and tragedy were very real words at this moment. I knew not only was my son in trouble tonight so was my husband. All I could do was pray and run begging for a good outcome. As the thief approached the third intersection that turned toward the interstate he slowed down giving my husband time to jump off. Our vehicle that had just been completely repaired of every little problem was now stolen and headed down the interstate. We were now left without transportation to and from the hospital which was about 45 miles from home.
By Karen Fullington5 years ago in Families
Apartment 413
October 7th, 2020 It is about midweek and this week has already been way too much to handle. My brother had some sort of anxiety break down and we barely came to find out in the harshest way. Thank God, he is okay and has his head on straight (for the most part) but he gave us all a scare regardless. That scare manifested in me emotionally, it was the tear shed of 2020. I cried my eyes out all of Monday evening because I could not believe my brother would joke with his life. I was so hurt and disappointed at the same time. But maybe this is God’s way of just bringing us closer together and making us conscious of things we would have otherwise never been. Either way my family now knows I care more than they think and that I love them always.
By Melanie Guajardo5 years ago in Families
Parental Alienation: Part two
A lot of time has passed since I was arrested for domestic violence. I told you the whole truth, in part one, about what transpired that night. I DID swat my husband's arm with my hand. I could have denied that to the police that night and saved myself, but honestly, I didn't think I would be arrested. It felt like I was the real victim in this, me and my daughter.
By Jennifer Paulette Speaks5 years ago in Families
The Letter
My mother used to tell me that the connection she and I shared was one that I would not be able to understand until I had a daughter of my own. She was right. My mom died 3 years ago. It wasn’t until the end of her life and, mostly after her death, that I fully appreciated the bond between us.
By Jessica Harrison5 years ago in Families
108
I am sitting in a dim lit living room at 6 in the morning, I am supporting my close friend in being the best version of herself, for her. We agreed we would wake up at 5:45 this morning and work on things, for her that is catching a moment of solitude while catching up at work: for me, I needed quietude.
By Lucinet Luna - The Author 5 years ago in Families
To My Little One..
This may be a hard read for some of you, maybe because you have experienced it, or maybe because you are terrified of it happening. Remember, be kind in all things, you never know what someone is truly going through. You never know who needs a little ray of sunshine or a sliver of hope. With that being said, in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month, I present to you, "To My Little One."
By Tiffani Johnson 5 years ago in Families
A Storm is brewing
I've found myself in states of deep sadness, then, in a moment anger rears it's head and I'm consumed with rage....who am I angry at? My son? Sometimes; myself? absolutely! However, a bulk of my rage is centered on every single person who is able to live their life without this pain and loss; those who laugh and smile, those who have no idea how painful and debilitating my life has become - I'm angry that they don't see! That "important" to them is their job, their money, what they will do for fun next weekend.... Does that make me a terrible person? Maybe I am, maybe my rage and depression do make me a terrible person....I'm certainly not the person I was; my blinders have been ripped off, and I see this world as it truly is - a depressing place filled with hate and sadness. Do I add to it by these feelings of rage and darkness? That, makes me even sadder and angrier if I do.... I have become a wheel that continues to spin and never goes anywhere. I have allowed the depression to place thoughts in my head that I would never voice...to voice them would alert those around me to lock me up and throw away the key. I write, it helps - it may be nonsensical and misunderstood, but it's mine, and it helps me purge the darkness for a little while. Tears are not cleansing, they are the byproduct of the deep wounds in my heart and soul; the bleeding of my wounds... I have become jaded and mean... not overtly, no, I hide my cynicism and nasty thoughts from others, but the real me, the new me, the broken me is not kind, is not happy for others, is not helpful....this me, has become a monster - an angry, cynical, sad monster. I don't care if someone dislikes me, I don't care if someone thinks I'm full of sh*t....I don't care about anyone or what they might think! No one knows me anymore....not the real me, not the person who at any given moment could slide into the abyss of depression and do what I've always considered to be the unthinkable.... it's no longer unthinkable, it's just there...it is a thought. I stuff that thought down, and refuse to take action, not because I'm noble or strong or any of the other things people have said to me - No, it's because I'm weak. I'm fragile and weak. I don't WANT to be this way, but once the blinders come off, you can't put them back on! There is a storm brewing in me, and when it unleashes, when I am unable to continue shoving it down, further and further; when it rises to the surface, I am afraid of what that storm will do. Will it provide me the strength to leave this sh*t hole of a world on my terms, or will it push me further into the darkness blocking all light from me? Is healing from a loss like this even possible???? I have become so good at making people believe I'm "doing better" .... what a joke! If they could see inside my mind they would cringe in fear and pain....it doesn't "get better," I've just learned how to become the robot that I am called to be. I love my children - both living and dead and living while one of my children isn't is like a puzzle that is missing a piece that brings the whole puzzle together.....I will never be whole again....never.
By Kathleen Elizabeth Comfort-Steinbaecher5 years ago in Families
Chrissy Teigen, John Legend Lose Son Jack
#ChrissyTeigen's latest tweet broke my heart. Here is a woman who has openly expressed her challenges in conceiving a child, who has spoken from the heart about IVF treatments while conceiving daughter Luna and son Miles, and who was both surprised and seemingly elated - I could only assume so, at any rate, given I do not know her or her husband - at the news that she'd conceived her third child naturally.
By Christina St-Jean5 years ago in Families
Beautiful Family
I woke up to the familiar voice of my dad, I quickly grabbed my phone to check the time. It was currently two in the morning, I blinked away the lingering sleep left in my eyes, threw the covers off and began walking down the stairs. As I neared the bottom step I overheard my father speaking with my Aunt.
By Jaeger Boi5 years ago in Families
