Her Quescénnoia
Quescénnoia—the feeling of the quieting of the mind, absence of sensory interpretation and construction of meaning.
Antonia only liked people on rare occassions. Usually when there were restrictions in place, like in libraries, where the expectation was that one's mouth would mostly remain shut. Or in movie theatres, where the same unspoken rules applied. Parties were abject torture, unless she was able to secure the a wallflower and pluck them from the rest. It was likely she would remain holed up in a far corner of an upstairs room for the remainder of the evening, discussing everything from Greek philosophy to 14th century textiles, until it was acceptable to return home.
It wasn't that all people were inherently disagreeable, it was more that the society she lived in, wasn't exactly built for people like her. She was different. Her brain was different. Something as simple as the sound of someone chewing or the soft hum of the lights made her want to crawl out of her skin. The feeling of returning home, away from the buzz of the city and constant chatter, allowed her synapses to finally rest. To stop firing on all cylinders. To stop interpreting. To find her center, her quescénnoia. Free of the assault on her senses, she was left with the clear seas of mind, calmed of their raging waters.
About the Creator
E.K. Daniels
Writer, watercolorist, and regular at the restaurant at the end of the universe. Twitter @inkladen
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Comments (4)
Wow. This is incredibly well done. While I'm not quite as anti-people as Antonia, I do enjoy the moments alone to clear my head, so to speak.
a brilliant capture of the neurodiverse experience! beautifully written, as always :)
Omggggg! Antonia is me! Exactlyyyyyyy me! Loved your word and story!
Great. Now I thought you were in my room for a minute 😂