Lifetimes

Anna

I sit on my bed and wait for the candlelight in my mama's room to fade away as I continue to replay my decision in my head and I think to myself there is no turning back if I do this I'll lose everything but I'll be free with him. I take a deep breath and throw some clothes in a bag and open my bedroom window, I throw my bag out and follow not far behind it.

I feel my heart about to pound out of my chest as I work my way down from the roof, adrenaline pumps through my vines as I run down the side of the house trying to avoid as many windows as possible while thinking to myself no house needs this many fucking windows!

I finally make it to the lake as I walk to the willow tree and I can't help but to notice the change in the air, its heavy and full of dread and it makes my heart fall to my stomach as I slowly make it to the tree to realize no one is there, I try to hold back my fear as I tell myself that maybe he just got caught up with something and is just running a bit behind.

I sit down at the base of the tree and look up to the stars continuing to hope this is the right choice, until I hear someone behind me, I pop up to see Mrs. Thomas, Jimmy's mama and I try to act as normal as possible but my heart continues to sink as I plaster on a smile and say well hello Mrs. Thomas what do I owe the pleasure? She walks closer with tears in her eyes, as she says baby if you are waiting on jimmy he ain't coming.

I feel a lump form in my throat as my eyes begin to water and I say I don't know what you mean I'm just out for a walk ma'am, she sniffles as she says don't play those games with me girl, I've seen the stolen looks between you two and I found the letter from your daddy and all of your letters too, I went out to talk to him about these secrets he was keeping and he was...

Fear and panic make its way into my soul as Mrs. Thomas trails off and I ask choking back the tears fearing her answer Mrs. Thomas where is Jimmy? She cries as she says he was just minding his own on the hill smoking until Mr. Author and his friends were carrying him off in handcuffs! She falls to the ground crying as I run over to her wrapping my arms around her as she says they are forcing him to serve in the war because of his love for you.

I try to keep my own tears from falling as I hug her and she hugs me back and I say I'm so sorry Mrs. Thomas I didn't mean for this to happen, she sniffles as she breaks the hug and softly puts her hand on my cheek and says baby thank you for your apology but we can't help who we love but if I were you I would go see him while you still can. I nod as I stand up and help her up and turn to run to the barn as she says and Anna? I turn around and say yes Ma'am? She sniffles again as she looks at me and says tell my baby that his mama loves him? I nod firmly and say of course, she smiles sadly and motions for me to go. I run to the barn and settle up one of the horses and ride into the night.

I finally make it to the jail as I hop off and tie up my horse, I meet the eyes of one of Cole's men as he walks up t me and says in a warning tone, Anna Lee! You ain't supposed to be here. I walk up to him meeting him half way to the stairs of the jail and with all the anger I could muster I say oh yeah Johnny boy? Well you are also not supposed to be as stupid as you are tall but yet by some type of miracle here you stand! You also ain't supposed to arrest people without a warrant or cause for arrest especially when they are sitting on private property minding their own business but yet as I throw my hands up in the air and continue to say here we are! Now move!

A smirk appears across his face as he says Mr. Author always said you were a feisty one and educated too! He walks closer to me as he continues to say I've always liked my women a little feisty and educated. I couldn't help but to feel the chills going up my spine as I smell the whiskey on his breath like it was his second skin but I stand my ground as I meet his eyes and say in a demanding voice move or I can make you move.

He steps closer as he asks an how does little Anna plan on doing that? He reaches out to cuff my cheek as a smirk forms on my face and I grab his arm and twist as he screams in pain and I kick him in the crotch as he falls to the ground with tears in his eyes and says through his teeth you little bitch!

I continue to smirk as I say well I did ask you nicely the first time and we both hear someone in the shadows say she did I heard her, I look up to see Cole's face and anger fills me even more as I march up to him and yell HOW DARE YOU!?!? He throws his hands up in surrender as he says Anna now you know I was just following orders. I ask in rage WHO'S ORDERS COLE?! He sighs and says your father's.

I look away from him to try to keep the tears from falling as Cole continues in a soft tone, after three days of no response to his letter, he thought that maybe you and Jimmy ran off together, I was given orders to check on you and if Jimmy was still there I was to brin him in, he heading out first thing in the morning.

I turn now to meet his eye with tears in mine and if I was a gambling woman I would swear I saw a bit of guilt in his eyes but it went away as soon as it came as he says I'm sorry Anna but I have to follow the generals orders, I nod as I sniffle and ask can I see him? I watch him rub the back of his neck as a look of uncertainty crosses his face. I wipe my tears away as I say Cole I know you value my father and you respect him and his leadership but please do this one thing for me. The words taste like poison before they even leave my mouth but I know this will get him to fold as I continue to say it can be my wedding present before we ger married.

His eyes widen in shock as he asks if I let you see him you will finally agree to marry me? I take a deep breath as I nod softly and say yes, He sighs as he steps to the side and says 5 minutes go. I smile and say thank you Cole! I kiss his cheek and run back to the jail cells where I see him as his eyes meet mine and smiles as he says you wasn't supposed to meet me here.

I sniffle as I smile and walk up to the bars as I say well you know I've always liked a bit of trouble, he chuckles softly as he tries to hide his hopelessness but I read it in his eyes as I say your mama wants you to know she loves you. He tries to smile but it doesn't reach his eyes as he says tell her I love her too. I nod as I wrap my hands around the bars and the tears drop turning the dirt that covers the floor into little muddy puddles as he reaches through the bars and cups my cheek and I melt into his touch as he says baby don't cry.

I look down ripping away from his touch as I say your here because of me! Your poor mama had to watch her baby go to jail because of me! You have to fight because of me! This is all my fault! I put my hands over my face as the tears come like a river and I feel him softly wrap his hands around my arms and pull me closer to the bars as he says Anna baby look at me please, I sniffle and let my hands fall as he catches the last bit of my tears and he says,

There is not a bone in my body that regrets loving you and I don't care if I have to wait in this jail for he rest of my life or fight in every war there ever will be I would do it 100 times over, I would do it again, I would meet you again, I would fall in love with you again even if it means it would end like this every time because meeting you, getting to know you, loving you was a privilege and it was the greatest privilege of my life. You are my girl and that will never change no matter how much time passes my heart belongs to you, understand?

I nod as he rubs his hand across my cheek and pushes a curl behind my ear and as I look at him I can see the emotion in his eyes, the fear, the pain, the love and I'm sure it showed in mine too as I ask Jimmy? He nods as he holds my hand tightly and I ask do you believe we will see each other again? Like in a different life? He smiles as he says my mama believes that spirits and souls who aren't quite done with the world can come back if they choose they maybe different people but they can come back.

I nod and ask will you look for me? In te next life will you look for me? He smiles sadly as the tears well up in his eyes and he says Anna my love I will always look for you because I will never stop loving you, will you promise to look for me too? I nod and sniffle trying to choke back the tears so I can speak and say I will always look for you Jimmy.