Humor
The Folks Save Money
My brothers and sisters and I lived our childhood as though we had been shipwrecked on a desert island and had to survive dependent only on what we found or manufactured ourselves. This, despite the reality that we lived in a completely normal plat in a smallish town and my parents both earned above average incomes.
By Valerie Kittell4 years ago in Fiction
You Make Me Crazy
Every morning, I spend ten minutes pretending I’m asleep. For those ten minutes, I feel your eyes on me as I make this peaceful, pretty, princess face, and you press your forehead against mine for a real long time because you love me so much. Then, when you’ve exhausted your devotion, you hit your alarm clock and shuffle around our charming, rickety little start-up house in San Francisco, and I hop in the shower with the bathroom door open. Then, I get out of the shower and shut the door while I weigh myself because you don’t want to see that.
By Kiana Brizendine4 years ago in Fiction
Qualifications
“Alright, where are they? There they are! Both of you on time, this is perfect.” Mr. Tussen looked up and down the pair of applicants waiting on the office bench and pulled out two resumes from his briefcase. He motioned for them to follow him as they walked from the waiting room to his office with double doors. This place had been a labyrinth for many previous potential employees, all of which were declined for the sought-after position. Mr. Tussen shut the doors and circled around his desk, fixing all of his accolades and degrees that were displayed on the wall. They were on the fifteenth floor, which was dedicated for only the higher-ups of the company. Each executive presented their diplomas and rewards with pride in their office. Every desk offered a career’s worth of acknowledgement; all except for one. The spot for Chief Operations Manager was still up for grabs. Mr. Tussen cleared his throat before speaking.
By Daniel Klim4 years ago in Fiction
The Waiting Room
Riley deep-fried everything at Uncle Louis’s Eatery. Of course, there were the typical deep-fried items on the menu: french fries, chicken wings, corn dogs. But, when the restaurant was empty and our manager decided to clock out early, Riley would get creative in the back of the house. Have you ever tried a deep-fried cheeseburger? Or scoops of fried potato salad, smothered in ranch dressing? Riley was a connoisseur for all things battered and fried.
By Regan Riehl4 years ago in Fiction
Scott CEO Psycho
By now, many have heard the recent news of Scott Paper Towel CEO Jasmine Scott, formerly Jasmine Dretzel, and her psychotic break which resulted in the Dyson-Scott merger that occurred earlier this week. The following leaked emails are from the week before she attempted to burn down her factory with a single match.
By Britt Garman4 years ago in Fiction
Getting Killed for a Living
“Infiltration scenario number 197 take seven,” Supervisor Jenny shouts over the PA speakers that line the edge of the warehouse dome. It’s cold today. They must have shut off the heat to save money. They’re worried for sure, no more screw ups. “Cannon fodder, Grunts, Henchmen, Henchwomen…no that doesn’t sound right. From now on Henchmen is the unisex denomination for our highest level employees understood?”
By Rafe Kaplan4 years ago in Fiction
