Concern Grows Over “Chatbot Overdependence” in Relationships

What Happened

A reader wrote to advice columnist Annalisa Barbieri expressing concern that her boyfriend’s heavy reliance on AI — particularly ChatGPT — may be affecting his ability to think independently.

The man, 44, has ADHD and runs his own business. According to his partner, AI tools have transformed his productivity, especially for administrative and planning tasks. However, she worries that his usage has expanded far beyond work. He reportedly consults ChatGPT for routine tasks, such as checking train times, even when dedicated apps would be more accurate.

She also noted he ranked in the top 0.3% of global users in his annual usage summary, raising concerns about overdependence and environmental impact.

The columnist consulted Dr Stephen Blumenthal, a clinical psychologist, and Henry Shelford, CEO of ADHD UK. Both suggested that while AI can be particularly helpful for individuals with ADHD — offering structure, focus, and task management — excessive reliance may signal underlying anxiety rather than simple convenience.

What Is Analysis

1. ADHD and AI: A Natural Fit

People with ADHD often experience:

Difficulty sustaining attention

Executive dysfunction

Challenges with planning and organization

Increased cognitive load from mundane tasks

AI tools like ChatGPT can provide:

Immediate clarification

Task breakdowns

Structured thinking support

Emotional reassurance

For some users, AI functions like a cognitive scaffold — reducing friction in daily life.

However, experts warn that tools designed to support executive function can become substitutes for it if used reflexively.

2. “Chatbot Overdependence”

Dr Blumenthal raised the possibility of a future phenomenon resembling “chatbot overdependence syndrome” — a pattern in which individuals begin relying on AI not just for information but for validation, reassurance, and decision-making.

Overdependence differs from healthy usage in several ways:

Using AI even when simpler tools are available

Seeking repeated reassurance from the system

Experiencing discomfort when not using it

Attributing human-like qualities to the tool

The concern is not technological harm per se, but psychological displacement — where self-trust erodes.

3. Anxiety as Root Cause

Both experts suggested the boyfriend’s AI use may be a symptom rather than the primary issue.

Running a business can create chronic stress. For individuals with ADHD, anxiety can amplify decision paralysis. AI may function as a “flotation aid,” providing:

Immediate answers

Reduced uncertainty

Relief from cognitive strain

If underlying anxiety is driving behavior, simply reducing AI use without addressing stress may not resolve the pattern.

4. Relationship Dynamics

The advice emphasizes avoiding “nagging,” which can trigger defensiveness. Instead, experts recommend:

Asking what needs the tool is fulfilling

Exploring alternative coping strategies

Framing concerns compassionately

Avoiding framing AI use as moral failure

The key relational insight is that dependency often fills an emotional gap — such as reassurance, structure, or fear of failure.

The Bigger Picture

This case reflects a broader societal shift.

As AI becomes embedded in everyday life, questions are emerging about:

Cognitive outsourcing

Decision-making autonomy

Environmental costs of AI computation

Emotional attachment to digital tools

Unlike younger generations growing up alongside AI, mid-career adults have years of functioning without it. That historical memory suggests overreliance is reversible.

The distinction may ultimately lie between augmentation and substitution:

Augmentation: AI enhances existing abilities.

Substitution: AI replaces cognitive effort and self-trust.

For individuals with ADHD, AI can be empowering. But if reliance becomes automatic, the risk is diminished confidence rather than improved capacity.

The columnist concludes that the real task is not eliminating AI, but restoring balance — ensuring that tools support human agency rather than quietly supplanting it.

In a world where digital assistants are always available, the challenge may not be access — but knowing when to step back and think unaided.