She taught me to build the inside

A few years ago while I still at the University, I had a conversation with a friend that shifted everything inside of me.

We were in class chatting about money, dreams and our future goals. She was someone admired, hardworking, determined and smart. She always found ways to found her own money, and I remember joking with her about how focused she was. I said something like "you're a bit obsessed", aren't you?

She smiled, and then she told me something that changed the way I used to see life.

" My dear we are not the same", she told me gently. You have a beautiful shape, not too skinny, not too heavy. People look at you and see confidence, even when you get older, your shape will probably stay balanced. But for me life will change, with my weight today, after years I will grow up, will get married , may be have children. Life will change and I will need to start going to the gym, provide to myself everything I will need to take care of my family and I. And if I don't work on myself now_earn my own money, build my degrees, speak with confidence, who will do that for me?"

She wasn't angry. she was honest. Her words went deeper than I expected. That moment made me realize how differently we were looking at life.

I used to focus too much on how I looked. I believed that with if I appeared beautifully everything else would follow. That people will naturally respect me, that opportunities would come easily. I spent time choosing the right cloths, the right hairstyle, the right look_believing that external beauty would open the right doors.

But here was my friends, focusing not on external beauty but preparation. She wasn't ignoring her physical well being_she simply had a bigger plan. She knew that the world might admire beauty, but it respects substance.

She was working from the inside out. I understood that she was looking at life and a different way, a better way.

That moment woke me up. I started asking myself what am I doing to build the woman I want to become? What will remain with me when my beauty fades,or when confidence based on looks only disappears?

In the past for instance, every time I had to speak in front of an audience my heart would race, my hands would shake, and I felt like I was going to faint because of fear. I believed that looking beautiful would make me appear confident, but deep down, I was feel of doubt. That is when I realized that real confident doesn't come from the outside.

I began working from the inside out_reading more, practicing more, and building inner strength. I wrote more. I speak with intention. I've stopped trying to impress, and I've started to invest _in myself. I stopped hiding behind my appearance and focused on my message, my growth and my voice. The true confidence, I learned, it rooted in preparation.

And you know what? I noticed something else too.

People don't remember the most physically beautiful person in the room. They remember the one who was thoughtful, well-spoken, kind and wise. The one who shared something meaningful. The one who made them feel understood.

That's who I want to be. that who I am becoming.

To the girl reading this today: Yes, be beautiful. Take care of your body. Wear what makes you feel good. But don't let your reflection become your identity. Build within. Because beauty may open a door, but character will keep you in the room.

Words by Solange