Create a Story

"Create a Story." Left-clicked.

"Title"

"Subtitle"

"Upload Image: Select a file."

Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.

I had a thought here a minute ago. What happened to it? Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.

"Create a Story." A story? Did I have a story to write, or just a thought to record? This keyboard has stiff keys. I don't like using it. Where can I get a better one? It hurts my fingers.

No, that wasn't the story, but whatever blip of inspiration dashed through my aching brain is gone, distracted by the idea of generating a title, subtitle, and matching an image to thoughts not fully developed. Then, I sat here and watched the damned cursor blink to distraction. When I finally ordered my fingers to begin punching letters, it felt like my dad's old manual typewriter keys that resisted all but the strongest strikes. How did he achieve one hundred words a minute on that thing? Accurately, too.

I guess my predecessor in this office didn't type much. I write a lot, so the keyboard gives me grief, and I'm too lazy to call the warehouse for a better one. Lazy and timid. I feel like a nuisance to those guys, always asking for this or that office supply. Lazy isn't the word. Apprehensive is.

I know what you're thinking. "Mack, don't be such a wimp. Just request what you need." You're probably right, but here's the thing about me: I have a mercurial temperament, and I've been very moody over the last twelve months at work. My poor coworkers have borne the brunt of it, so I am trying to pull back, stay in my lane, and ask for less. I can go overboard with my assertiveness too easily, and that's a legitimate apprehension I live with.

This is a job I used to love, and I suppose I still do, but horrible leadership in recent years ruined a lot of my enthusiasm. It wasn't until my direct report retired at the end of last year that I figured out how much damage had been done. He moved the goalposts and pulled out the rug frequently, to the point that I did not have a reasonable grounding or understanding of expectations to live up to. Just last week, I found out from our mutual boss that her expectations are the opposite of what he told me they were. His lies cost me thousands of dollars that cannot be restored.

And the truth is that he might not have misrepresented her intentionally. He was never a good communicator, and he and I got along decently when he wasn't my supervisor. However, he couldn't keep information straight to save his life, and it caused tremendous repercussions for me. He misreported information from me to upper management that resulted in professional discipline for me. When I brought to light the differences between his reports and the truth, I received shrugs and "oops" replies. Their treatment of him reminded me of how the Boston Red Sox responded to the misbehavior of Manny Ramirez in the early 2000s. "Just Manny being Manny."

Either way, by the time my direct report retired, my love for the job was gone, save for the people whose lives I had positively helped. In the weeks since his departure, I have finally found the opportunity to meet with the boss, who now understands why the relationship between my direct report and me broke down. She now comprehends how twisted the reality he presented to me was, compared to what she expected of me. She has committed herself to being utterly transparent with me, and I am beginning to take ownership of my role again for the first time in many years. Where he had tried to push me into roles not suited to my training or skillset, she is listening to how I believe I can help more people in our organization succeed with the knowledge and passion I have for teaching. As we all know, being heard is a powerful motivator, and a boss who listens is a boss who empowers.

When my direct report retired, he was attempting to force his views on how our programs would operate when he left, and to some degree, he succeeded. However, some of us resisted, and our boss relented on some of the changes that had been planned. Now, a few weeks later, we have changed our minds somewhat, and we acknowledge that some merit exists in using our facility space differently than in the past.

The big fight involved a staff office that had to be renovated. When the work was done, our boss was going to turn "our" office space into a classroom and put "our" office space into a computer lab. After a few weeks of being allowed to use the office, however, we have concluded that it's more space than we need. Our facility is growing, and we will need another classroom space sooner rather than later, so I approached Boss J with an idea: "Move our office space to the computer lab. Clear out the bookshelves and filing cabinets. They're unneeded. Put the flat screen TV (that you're so eager to get) on the wall of the new classroom (there's no wall space in the computer lab for it), and add a small whiteboard. Put three or four small desktop computers on the back wall, and you'll have the classroom and meeting space you've been looking for. The heat has been fixed, so it's adjustable (unlike in the computer lab). There's a large plexiglass window for observation from outside the classroom for security (vital in our environment). And the door has a lock on it." Today, she came over and looked at it. She approved the idea immediately.

Now, I'm not thrilled about moving to a room that has out-of-control radiators, but they were going to take our space eventually, so I preferred making the case for it to being told to get the hell out. That's happened at least a half dozen times already in the last 15 years. "Sorry, Mack. We need this space. You gotta move." No, give me the illusion of control over being thrown out of yet another office space, thank you very much.

I do believe in what I do here. I provide educational programming to men in justice-involved situations, to put it politely. From Adult Basic Education (ABE) to high school equivalency test (HiSET) prep, my everyday interactions with men who want to learn can be very rewarding. When available, I offer workplace readiness training through a state Department of Education program called "WorkReady," which covers various soft skills needed by anyone who has never been in the (legal) workforce, or who has been out of the workforce for any reason.

The participants learn to identify and/or develop motivations for work, personal and work values and skills, transferable skills, decision-making tendencies, conflict-resolution strategies, resume writing, interviewing, job searching, and so much more. The program is tailored to help justice-involved individuals do all this while learning how to manage all of this with a felony record. At the successful completion of the program, participants earn a credential that is recognized by employers throughout the state. Second Chance employers who are willing to give felons a job for at least six months can take advantage of the Federal Bonding program that pays the required bonding insurance for that probationary period so that the hiree can prove to be a worthy hire at no insurance risk to the employer. When the hiree remains on the payroll, employers also qualify for other financial incentives. It's a win-win for both parties.

Seeing my graduates succeed is what keeps me going when everything else turns to crap.