Forced A Fit

When life got tough, and I no longer had place to lay my head. I was so exhausted and had gotten just evicted. I had my own firm for over 8 years, but this was 2008. Once I closed my loan and real estate business I just could not fit in anymore. I went on this interview and I was like the invisible man. I was speaking to the receptionist, but it seemed she could not hear me. I was staying with a family member but they wanted to have fun and all I could do was sleep; I was forced to go drinking in a club in which I always prevented. I got so drunk I struck my sister. I was not a fit, the last time I went out with my second husband to a club I got drunk and started dancing with another man. A lot of puzzle pieces but non was the fit. I was determined to stay alive and strive. I needed income so although I was a licensed real estate agent, I was desperate. I took a job at a toner company as a telemarketer, and I had to report at 5am. I made it to work but I could not stay awake, so they let me go after two weeks. It was difficult times indeed. The worst was a firm in downtown Los Angeles. I came to work every day and maintained the best numbers but I did not fit in. A worker who I was sitting next to was sleeping with staff and using all types of profanity. I just did not fit. One employee 30 years my junior had it in for me and she was very disrespectful. She wanted to be my boss. So, one day as I was leaving work she followed me and started to call names. She called me old lady with no purpose. She and a coworker followed me to my car and tried to fight me. My husband had picked me up fearful as well for his life. I tried to fit in, but they just did not accept me. I finally left that job they wanted to just see how I did 1000 calls day as I did for my previous firm. Not fitting in the call center world took it toil at my last assignment where I spent four years as an outcast. In order to function I hade to wear ear plugs every day, the noise was loud. Although I was a producer, they refused to assign me a permanent desk. On several occasion staff call me out of my name and I was sent home for no reason. I will tell you now in the workplace if it doesn’t fit don’t force it. At that last situation even when going to restroom a co-worker pushed me. I did all I could not to retaliate. I kept trying to fit myself in environments where both the noise and the energy was not healthy for me. I was rejected because I did not smoke or curse along with them. And my strong work ethics irritated the other workers. I really wanted to fit in so I asked my manager if they had suggestions. I prayed to God, please help me God I want to fit in. Then one day when I woke up happy, dressed very pretty I get to my job and the seat I saved and put my name on they say we took your name off. The label was thrown in a nearby trash can. I got a little loud and said after 4 years I cannot know where I sit. This was a commission only position and I made zero the day before. I came to sit where I left my name, but they were rude they said go home and come back tomorrow. I left went to car and cried very hard, I just did not fit my friend. The End