Life's Lessons

Life changes in us in ways we could never imagine. It just keeps changing so quickly that it is difficult to react at times.  One starts as one thing and, through many different experiences, can change everything.  That is the most frustrating thing in life when it comes to goals and achievements.  Other life events change one's views and perceptions. It feels like when I am kayaking, and the water determines how the adventure goes.  The rocky times shape us most, raising the most serious questions. It is a place we wish would be smooth sailing, but it turns into a place of pure uncertainty.  Only learning and studying can help in dealing with the constant changes that come with them. 

I was once much happier with big dreams and thought-out goals.  It was uncertain, but I put my best foot forward and gave my best effort at so much.  Each place, whether a college or a workplace, slowly stole the good out of the world. The sense that real justice existed.  The ones who deserved received the prize.  Yet every time it seemed that hard work only led to exhaustion and dead-end jobs. My optimism slowly died as disappointment compounded over time.  No amount of effort seemed to bring anything better, and it was such a day without hope. 

My school life started low, with struggles, but eventually picked up as I began to succeed.  Life was finally getting better, but with school changes, things did become more difficult. It was a reality check early in life, but dreams are hard to see die.  I wanted to do my best and make excellent grades. I tried sports, but I wasn't good at them.  The opportunity never existed with constant bench sitting. It is difficult to accept failure, but almost constantly.  Life can be challenging, yet there is still little to show for it. Others seemed to have a better time and got the prize they had wanted.  I know nothing is going to be fair, but when do I finally get a break?

 Work was not much better with my luck, and it became all too familiar—the same path with my schools and colleges.  I was hopeful that the working world would be better. I had a few jobs at school, most of which were rather nice.  The outside jobs were different; the more I worked, the more I realized that no one outgrew high school. There were no promotions that seemed to reach only friends.  Each job was worse, with my spirit to do my best completely defeated.  This last job was the worst, with endless hours and evil plans. I have never felt so numb from trying too much. I no longer do the extra work.  I used to do more and care, but not anymore.

Despite the challenges, I held onto my dreams and hopes.  My energy remained high, and I was determined to prove myself.  However, I have gradually become a shadow of my former self.  I had to numb myself to endure my current job. Yet, the spark of motivation still flickers within me when I find my rhythm.  Life has pushed me down with all its force, but I still hold onto hope for the future. I strive to learn from my experiences and become a wiser person with more realistic expectations of others.  I aspire to make things better and become a better person.  From youth to adulthood, it has been a journey that seems to keep going. I am not the same person I was, but I am continually evolving. And I hold onto the belief that the future can be better, and I am committed to making it so.