Living Between the Lines of Neglect

These words mean absolutely nothing. Normal doesn't exist. We are creatures with complex things in order to find placement and understanding to the feelings and all they encounter. With that thought process in mind;

There isn't a person among us that doesn't like to imagine life and the world we live in, being only ice cream and gum drops from time to time. Every single person walking on this earth has some sort of "problem" or "issue" that somewhere, someone else deems it as such. All of humanity carries something to that aspect with them having picked it up somewhere along the way.

Always searching for the beauty in what surrounds us. Loving, peaceful and carefree; we'd like to believe that anyway. Even Nature and her elements can be cruel at times yet we appreciate them and everything those moments bring when we see fitting. Then the harsh reality comes in and hits you like a ton of bricks. From war, to famine, poverty, crime and hate. Why; as the only creatures that are capable of reason, create such destruction, pain and chaos? Worse than any hurricane, tsunami, animals or even fires ever could. With that note we often tend to forget we are animals ourselves. Being such comes with those that most of humanity view as "animalistic instincts." in our words: raw or unfiltered, possession, urges to reproduce, feral even. For if one sets other thoughts aside and use reason, we can see that what is chaos to the fly is a normal way for the spider. This ability to reason however brings words like jealousy, complex emotion of any sort, truly messes with the intricacy of humanity. Possibly destroying mankind even more.

Sitting on the sidelines watching it all play out, and process; reprocess at times; wanting to believe that the human species is inherently good, wants to be good. One that has seen both sides of it all can't help but have contradicting thoughts that there are those whose lives are ruled by villainy and greed, even their good deeds still leaving a bittersweet taste behind. We all inadvertently choose an invisible path. Not actually knowing how every choice effects said path either for good or bad. Dangling between the threads of morality.

We all learned at some point there were certain feelings that we should never bring up. Not polite conversation. That is private. These are things we just don't talk about. All of humanity has gone through some form of neglect or traumatic experience in some point of our lives. Time goes by and we get past it, few truly "get over" those experiences. We hide behind a fake smile and fibbing "I'm fines" almost on a daily. Most even tend to shy away from any uncomfortable topic or when a friend sheds tears, one tries to shift the mood. Then there are ones that the trauma and damage was so overwhelming that they seem "cryptic" and use the trauma as nothing more than a sick twisted joke like its nothing. Most people being uncomfortable talking about such things despite not having being under the microscopes themselves.

There are those of us out there; born into despair. From unwanted children, or never having a chance due to the sins of their parents, parents being alcoholics, drug addicts and violent angry surroundings. Never learning any type of good or comfort. The continuous ring of "children are to be seen and not heard." or "Not now, go play or I'll beat you." To a child that has to learn to hide from parents that beat them just because they walked by, simply spilling water or milk or not doing as they were told 2 seconds after instruction. After a while not only is it bothersome or wrong, but for children, it begins to shift every perspective they have. Those traumas actually rewire and, shrink and remold the brain. Surroundings defining not exactly who they are, but their reactions. How they respond in various situations. Certain scents, places, sounds all can trigger a trauma survivor.

Flinching because of quick movements to thinking and changing words, training oneself how to say things in order to appease those they speak to just for survival; unhealthy, definitely. Trauma survivors have issues showing their authentic self. Building layer upon layers of walls and hiding behind various masks depending on event and the people around. It prevents another person showing their true authentic self in return, creating a rocky foundation to say the least. Unaware that these defensive behaviors follow us forever, evolving into worse conditions and behaviors over time even creating new issues for them. But why is that? Abuse and trauma creates a different type of person all together. Life isn't just a lesson for these beings; they are left with lessons that need to be unlearned. Survivors are conditioned under such horrid ways that after they get away they need the bad they were formed from to function at all.

Unfortunately with today's social media; nothing is actually private; now is it? Bringing out the worst in people, their comments, snide remarks and judgmental glances. From complete strangers hundreds of miles away. No we may never meet but it leaves a ripple in ones soul when it happens over and over. Society depleting any sense of inherent good in this age.