Thank You to All the Girls and Boys I Have Ever Loved

Life is quite the journey isn't it. The trials and tribulations, the wins and losses, the ups and downs that we experience throughout our lives all have meaning. It is all part of our personal journey, it is all part of a lesson that is meant for us to learn.

No one ever said life would be easy, especially when you throw love in the mix. Heartbreak has become so frequent sometimes we just sit and wait for it just so we could try to protect our hearts as much as we can. But, I think we all know there's no real protection shield. Heartbreak is just as inevitable as falling in love.

I fell in love with love at a young age. Hopeless romantic, yup that's me. But each and every person I have ever shared such an emotion with has been a major part of my growth. Each and every person that I have ever loved romantically has shown me who I really am, who I don't want to be, and who I wish to be.

There's no instructions to life, we are all just winging it everyday trying to live up to fictitious expectations knowing damn well we don't even have the energy anymore. But, even with no instructions we still manage to make it through and enjoy the parts that matter.

Who I really am is a lover. A lover of love, a lover of art, a lover of poetry. Who I really am is passionate. Passionate about love, passionate about growth, passionate about life, and the beauty that the universe paints us each and everyday we rise.

Who I don't want to be is regretful. Regretful of a past that changed me, regretful of a past where in some instances I had no control over. Regretful of my mistakes, because each and every mistake has made me as strong as I am today. Who I don't want to be is stuck. Stuck in a plateau relationship living a life that dims my shine.

Who I wish to be is every bit of who I was meant to be. I wish to be better, and stronger, and build up my knowledge each day just a little bit more. Who I wish to be is happy, and healthy, and a person who continuously loves themself. Who I wish to be is a fantastic lover, and a wonderful parent should I be blessed with children.

I don't regret the past, the past is what made me who I am today. The lover, the friend, the sister, the daughter, the aunt, the cousin, etc.

Thank you to all the boys and girls I have ever loved. One showed me love, one showed me how to stick up for myself, another showed me that life is indeed everything you make of it. One showed me light, another showed me darkness. Both helped me through the tunnel.

I learned to love myself better and stronger. I learned that being controlled is never okay, and a social butterfly is every bit of beautiful. I learned you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, not even with love. I learned that having carefree fun is okay - just enjoy it. I learned that you can't force someone to love you the way you want them to.

One last thing I learned was being straight wasn't a phase. Being someone I knew I wasn't was the phase, trying to please everyone but myself was the phase. Being straight was a journey I needed to experience before I flourished into the real me.

So, thank you to all the girls and boys I have ever loved, you have helped me grow, you have helped me become my true self, and most importantly you have led me straight in the arms of my soulmate who has now become my sweet wife.

Love is real, love is wild, love is beautiful, love is powerful, love is both happiness and sadness. Love is everything. But if it is one thing love truly is, it's endless. And I will continue to ride it in this lifetime and all the many that follow. Don't ever give up on love, there's a lesson behind each and every encounter. Listen closely, the answer is within each and every heartbeat.