The Emperor's Gold

They say anger is just love disappointed. Well if so, disaster is just excitement not paying attention.

“Caroline...get ready for this…”

“Okay...I’m ready...what’s happened….”

“We just won a million dollars.”

“George you better not be messing around because I’m really not….”

“No Caroline, we really did! I matched two gold coins on an 'Emperor’s Gold' scratcher…”

“A scratcher George….like from the gas station? No way… nobody ever wins more than $5 with those things. Since when did you start playing those….”

“No really Caroline! The instructions said reveal one coin, win $100, reveal two coins, win twenty thousand, and reveal three coins, win $500,000 BUT if you only reveal two coins but also reveal a Buddha in the center YOU WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!”

Caroline silently stared blankly for a few seconds and then replied, “When I figure out what that means I’m sure I will be very excited.”

“It means we won a million dollars! I revealed two coins and a Buddha!”

Caroline absorbed for a moment. Before deliberating. “I want to see this Buddha.”

“Well, you can’t….I’m sorry, I already sent in the ticket to the California lottery office babe. The website said to send in the scratcher and a check will be mailed to you in six to eight weeks.”

“A check for a million dollars will just be sent in the mail?”

"Well a million dollars in California terms works out to about what? $50?" George was smiling in his voice.

“Yes George, that’s about what will be left over when we’re settled up: $50.”

“Oh there’ll be a little more than that Caroline. That’s the best part: we’ll be free, and we can celebrate. With Jack. Even with just $50 left over, we could get him that little train set he saw at the store. But there’ll be more than that left over, you know that.”

“George, I trust you. I trust you as a father and I trust you. But I won’t believe this until I’m holding the cash in my hand. I just won’t. After all that’s happened, George….I….I’m so worn out.” There were welling tears in her voice.

“I know Caroline. I know.” George found himself also trying to keep it together. “I saw it with my own eyes though. If only I had kept the ticket to show you, so we could share this together. But six to eight weeks is a long time and I was so excited. I danced in the street Caroline. No one knew why but I was dancing.”

Caroline smiled slightly through her watering eyes.

“Listen Caroline, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m just gonna do these six to eight weeks like nothing has changed. I promise I will keep in my excitement. It will just be business as usual. Because, I know what this all has done to you. I know what I have done to you and this family…”

“George, don’t say that, it’s not your fault, I agreed to take….”

“And I agreed to take responsibility if it failed. But I never once considered how much it would have to cost you and Jack as well.”

“George, please listen, I was excited too. And I agreed to everything, also not knowing. I was a dreamer just like you. Please don’t forget that. I was ready to live a whole new life. And I too was willing to risk everything. No one can know what it's like to lose before they gamble. You can’t know that. Because if you fear losing you never want to risk anything ever. And no one can live like that.”

There was silence.

“George?”

George collected himself enough to reply, “You’re right Caroline. You’re right. See you in 24 hours? I love you.”

“Yes, in 24 hours. I love you too.”

George hung up, but he continued the conversation to himself.

“We did dream together….but you believed in me.”

*********

The next six weeks passed with George doing just as he told Caroline he would do: go through the motions as if nothing had happened and do so until the winnings were absolutely in hand. But he couldn’t hide the “boost.” He couldn’t hide the feeling of waking up from dreaming about Caroline smiling and laughing...and the feeling of knowing those days were coming back. He couldn’t hide the loss of emotional weight that seemed to release his every move, every creative thought, every reflex. The only thing Caroline couldn’t stifle in her hardened state was responding to this new-old spark that George was experiencing. It was as if he transferred electricity into everything he touched.

And into the air when he spoke. Caroline even smiled when he cracked a joke during their bankruptcy discussion with their accountant (they were acting as if nothing had changed, remember) And so those six weeks were a gift in and of themselves, bankruptcy preparation and all.

And then one day a discrete letter came in the mail. Of course Caroline was traveling for work and wouldn’t be home for a week. Meanwhile, George held the realization of all his optimism in his hand. He wondered (perhaps a little selfishly) if Caroline would want him to wait for her or go ahead and open it now because she couldn’t take the “reveal”. After all she still couldn’t bring herself to believe. He decided she would want him to open it now. So he opened it with care.

And enclosed was a check. An actual check. They actually enclosed a check for…..

George stopped. The base of his neck strained as he looked closer with all his being. Then it snapped back as he startled in surprise. Immediately he called the contact number printed on the check.

“Excuse me, but I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. I won a million dollars on an 'Emperor's Gold' lottery scratcher but I only received a check for $20,000.”

“What is the lottery scratcher id number? It should be on the…”

“I see it. Its 1-Z as in zebra-T as in tiger-315-S as in snake.”

“So that id number is connected with a lottery scratcher that was pre- marked to be worth $20,000.”

“Then it was manufactured incorrectly because I made all the qualifications to win a million dollars.

"Let me pull up a scan of your ticket sir……...So I am seeing two scratched off coins which would mean that you indeed won twenty thousand dollars.”

“No but I know I also uncovered a Buddha, which, combined with the two coins, would mean I actually won a million dollars.”

The other line went silent as the support member took a moment to look over the scratcher again

“Sir, you did uncover a Buddha, however in order to win a million dollars, the Buddha has to be at the very center point of the scratcher grid. Your Buddha was in the center of the two coins you uncovered, but not at the center point of the scratcher grid itself. It says in the instructions: ‘If you uncover….’”

George cut them off, and immediately drove to the gas station where he bought the scratcher. He hastily bought an Emperor’s Gold scratcher and took the scratcher back to his car and set to work.

“Look I knew it, right at the top ‘Uncover two coins and a Buddha and you could win….’ wait…. ‘Could win’?”

George scanned the ticket for the rules he had recited to Caroline from memory all those weeks ago.

“‘Reveal one coin, win $100, reveal two….blah blah blah blah blah blah... BUT…(George had reached the key part) if you only reveal two coins but ALSO reveal the Buddha IN THE CENTER SQUARE OF THE SCRATCH…..scratcher grid. In the center square of the scratcher grid.’” George read it and reread it. George, in anger that comes truly from shame, started to call back the lottery office and reprimand this kind of deceptive wording but then he stopped himself.

This is what Caroline knew about him all along. This is why Caroline wanted to see the ticket for herself. This is why Caroline wouldn’t let herself believe. And she was right. He had abandoned the actual rules for the scratcher just like had abandoned his little black financial journal a few years ago: at the vague promise of great treasure

Twenty thousand dollars would only pay off part of one of George’s credit cards, and he and Caroline would then still be left with a mountain to work through….a house to sell….bankruptcy to still potentially file….

All of a sudden George’s phone rang.

“Hello Susan….No nothing’s wrong, I’m on my way now to come grab him. Ok bye.”

George set the scratcher aside, collected himself, and headed off to go pick up his son.

***********

Caroline noisily rolled up the walkway and into her house with her work trip luggage. However, even when she stopped rolling at the foot of her stairs, she still couldn’t hear anything...

“Guys? I’m home. Guys?”

It was quiet inside the house but George’s car was in the driveway and George should have picked up Jack by now. Caroline made her way to the living room that looked onto the backyard. As the wall of sliding glass windows that faced the yard came into view, Caroline gasped in disbelief at what she saw and walked slowly towards it.

Through the completely transparent “wall” she saw many things that hadn’t been there before. The backyard view from the kitchen had been very tranquil and monochromatic when Caroline had left for work three days ago. Most of it was an expanse of green lawn that Caroline and George had wanted to put a swimming pool on. In the middle of the expanse of green lawn was a large, gnarly tree. This is what Caroline was expecting when she came home, a large green patch with a tree in the middle that she draped string lights off of. Only tonight, the string lights all around helped illuminate a fairy land.

Running around the yard was a series of train tracks complete with a train that Jack could actually fit on and was driving. A two story, large castle shaped jungle gym graced one corner of the yard. In another corner was apparently a makeshift jungle made up of huge potted trees and ferns that made a dense home for several life sized stuffed animals. But no safari could be had without a proper vehicle and sure enough a little miniature electric jeep was poised to go on the hunt outside the jungle. But the piece de resistance was what Caroline had seen first. Amidst the large limbs and string lights of the large tree, a tree house had been built to survey this new kingdom from a place of high ground. Guarding the kingdom from below, her husband George sat behind the barbecue with a beer and his favorite pair of old sunglasses on.

As she beheld all this, Caroline was still behind sliding glass, on the “outside” of this world looking in. Caroline slid open the door and made her way towards her husband.

“Mommy! Mommy look,” shouted Jack, riding the train around the newly fortified tree.

“Oh that's wonderful honey,” she said, her eyes almost instantly moistening as she said it.

“Hello darling,” uttered George, through smoke and sunglasses, in a soft, warm tone that was warmed a bit more via drink.

“So I take it this all means we really did win.”

“Yes darling, we really did win.”