The Intentional Beauty of a Well-Timed Hug and an "I Love You."

A hug and an "I Love You."

Depending on the moment and the people involved, it could be awkward.

...From the right friend, at PRECISELY the right moment, it could be beautiful.

A well-timed "I Love You," even between two absolutely platonic friends at best, could be a well-rounded way of saying "I see you," "I value you," "I appreciate you," "I'm here for you," or "I'll stand by you like family." (Of course, an awkwardly timed one could run the risk of taking friendship off of the table).

The friendly embrace, if timed properly to the correct person, could say "I'm so happy to see you!" or "I'm here for you" or "Here; here's a shoulder to cry on." (Once again, it's best to try to read what a situation calls for; because I, for one, also notoriously only hand these out to women who I know as friends, yet find attractive). By the way, I'm 11 years older than I was when I left college behind me and had broken down enough boundaries to go for the embrace any time that I saw a female friend that I saw close enough; much to the relief of many of the gals who only know my "Grand Valley" self (I was young, still single, and university introduced me to the concept of having a lot of platonic lady friends via campus organizations; I was young, foolish, and learning. Losing a couple of really important friendships forever has taught me a bitter lesson). Alas, I wasn't yet dropping the "I love yous" on completely platonic gal pals yet or the friendships that I DID hang on to to this day as correspondences would have headed for the hills as well (the personal boundary against blurting "I love you" to close FRIENDS didn't break until right around last Fall).

I am working on the "Bro Hugs" with brothers whom I've known for a bit; and "Love you, man" or "appreciate it, BRO" are used even more sparingly.

As stated in another piece, my daring to blurt "I love you" to WOMEN who I'm close enough with as "ONLY friends" is something of a new concept (Hey; when you're *BLEEEEEP* [Age] and haven't met your first official girlfriend yet, you have to show your appreciation to SOMEONE, right...?). Therefore, there is always the risk that I'm overdoing it on that a little bit and I can moderate the "I love yous" to sub in "I honor/value/appreciate you" at a given moment.

Late 2019-Now have been hard on individuals; and the holiday season in particular doesn't always represent the same comfort and joy to everyone concerned. Now could be the time when we need close, trusted confidants in friends or the tightness of surviving family the most. Alternatively, the pandemic in question isn't quite behind us yet, so certain peoples' personal boundaries may also still be "up" a little more than usual.

You know your own limits of offering the "hug/I love you" out of friendship/emotional support; and, amongst family and close enough friends, you should get to know THEIR limits as well and do all that you can to honor them. "Tell your friends that you love them; make it awkward" makes for a nice meme/gif/tiktok sentiment. Intentionally putting a close friend or family member in a KNOWINGLY awkward situation isn't always being so respectful, let alone helpful; especially if they're going through a lot right now. If a friend isn't ready to meet at a party/bar or share the awkward embrace yet, that's fine too. It takes a little more effort but you can phone a friend or even drop them a private Facebook Message to remind them that you're thinking of them. (In light of the holiday season, a surprise Christmas Card would have always worked; but they do even offer greeting cards of "New Years.")

In short, we're in the midst of kind of a tough season for some people; and an off YEAR for so many others. This is the time when social circles, be they family or friends, need something from one another the most; and people are STILL not always ready to say so out loud. Read your friends and family, gauge the situations as they come, and, when they're ready, let them know that you'll either honor their space; or will be RIGHT THERE for them to remind them how very loved they are...

The author here. Thanks as always for reading. It means so very much to me...

I hope that everyone had a Blessed Advent Season, a Merry Christmas, and have a great New Year...