Unexpected best friend

Has anyone here ever missed out on something they wanted to do or see because they didn’t have someone else to go with them?

I know I did.

I had grown up with a loving and protective family, I was a typical teenager with a good dose of teenage angst and I did not venture out without my friends. I went to college and quickly got swallowed up with friends who become family, as you do when you are first away from home. I met my husband in college and married him a few years after graduating with kids following shortly after. I had always had someone with me. IF there was something I really wanted to do and I couldn’t find someone to agree to go with me, I didn’t go.

Even if I really really wanted to.

I remember calling around and trying to convince people to do things with me – I became masterly persuasive because I like to do a lot of things. But this caused me to be in these situations where I wanted to be, with people who didn’t always want to be there. As an empath, When the person I am with, (especially when I convinced them to come), is not happy to be there, it would be hard for me to enjoy myself.

And of course, when my persuasive abilities failed me, I would skip out on the event.

So at least half the things I would do or wanted to do weren’t quite as good as they could be.

For me, this was normal. This was just how life worked.

To be clear - I had no problems with being alone – I’ve always been comfortable with myself and can easily entertain myself. But going to big events alone, that just wasn’t something I thought I could or was allowed to do or was safe to do.

Then in 2017, I was going to be in New Orleans alone for a couple of days, I happened to be arriving on the ending day of one of the weeks of Jazz Fest. Even though the New Orleans Jazz Fest had been on my bucket list for years, I figured I would be missing it as I was traveling solo, I had no companion to go with me and I was arriving later in the day. Then I found out Tom Petty was playing that evening, Tom Petty was also on my bucket list and I thought, two bucket list items combined in one night, I would be a fool to pass this up – I have to go.

So I rolled to Jazz Fest solo.

Tom Petty was the very first concert I ever went to completely alone.

And I had the BEST TIME!

I had so much fun, with me.

I danced, I laughed, I sang, and I met new people. I arrived when I wanted to arrive. I moved around when I wanted to move around. I left when I wanted to leave. It was such a great experience all around.

It was later that evening that I fully realized, that I am my very own best friend.

It was incredible, an amazingly freeing realization that I always have my very best friend with me – me. And in that, when I allow myself this space - I completely own my experience, I completely own the energy I operate in and when I do so, I have an unbelievably great time. Who knew?

Any of you?

Because I wish I was told so much sooner.

You do not need anyone else to live your very best life.

You are your very own best friend.

Cultivate that friendship – the internal friendship of fun, push yourself out of your comfort zone and do all the things you want to, even if you are alone.

Since that day, I do whatever it is I want to do. I don’t ask people to come with me. I tell people what I’m doing and if they want to join me, they are perfectly welcome. This ensures that I am always surrounded by people who want to be there. And when I do go alone, I find myself surrounded by others who want to be there, whose energy matches mine and inevitably, I end up making even more new friends. It’s been the most wonderful cycle and it has completely opened my world.

I’ve traveled to multiple countries alone, I’ve crossed off all kinds of bucket list items, alone, I see whatever live music I want to see, alone - and I feel so lucky and grateful for it – for learning that my very best friend, is me. And no one can take that away.

So, if you happen to be like who I used to be – waiting on others to agree to do the things you want to experience – I’m here to remind you, that your very best friend, is sitting there right inside of you. If you haven’t taken yourself out recently, I highly suggest going on a date with you this week – no one deserves it more.