Parody

Manifesting a Better Life Using Only Expired Condiments and Positive Vibes
🌈 Welcome, seeker of shelf-stable enlightenment. You’ve tried it all: Vision boards. Journaling. Screaming into a crystal shaped like Gwyneth Paltrow. And yet… your life remains one existential pothole away from a full spiritual blowout. Well, what if I told you that the answer to your dreams isn’t in a self-help book or a TikTok tarot card? It’s in your fridge... In the door... Behind the pickles. Lurking with mysterious crust around the cap…
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
How to Look Busy at Work Without Doing a Single Thing: A Masterclass in Motion Without Meaning
Congratulations, you’ve unlocked the most sacred of workplace arts: Appearing Productive While Accomplishing Absolutely Nothing.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
The Legend of Don Conrado Pt.3
As Don Conrado suspected, the premonition of Vador returned. And with matching fervor, he shook off all thoughts of insubordination for the greater cause and benefit of the Empire. With an air of undeniable conviction, he stepped forward (as one would from the dock of a spaceship), ready to instantly subdue — or even to sphagettify — a slick and cunning porch pirate (with but a single whip of his royal sash); had he want and desire to civilize such a foul creature; should one suddenly emerge from out the carriage of the Amazon, perhaps — not entirely unlike some disguised agent of the rebel fleet. For, I dare say, in this reality, these stooges in disguise were not only complicit but also in the habit, of pricing all earnest competition out of the galaxy; and as a consequence, they had earned their fair share of sworn enemies.
By Delusions of Grandeur 8 months ago in Humor
God, The Bible, Jesus… And My Very Confused Brain
There are two topics I usually avoid like a salad bar in a petrol station: politics and religion. Not because I’m not interested. Oh no, no. It’s because both subjects have an incredible ability to transform perfectly normal people into very passionate, very loud, and very exhausting debaters, convincing each other who is right. Also, my coffee gets cold while they’re trying to convince me.
By Tina's Blossom Life8 months ago in Humor
My First Day – Part 1
Listen to the audio version on Spotify: (Available on all major platforms—full list) *** It’s my first time filling one of these assignment reports out, so go easy on me.
By Stephen A. Roddewig8 months ago in Humor
Local Man Creates Religion Around Toast, Sparks Global Movement
It all began with a simple slice of sourdough. Fifty-two-year-old Dennis Mallard of Cheboygan, Michigan was preparing his usual breakfast — two slices of toast, lightly buttered, just a whisper of cinnamon — when he claims he received a “revelation.” As the second slice popped up, Dennis saw what he described as “a divine shimmer” across the crust.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
I Tried to Hack My DNA with a Burrito and Now I Can Smell Wi-Fi
People keep telling me I’m “not a scientist.” They say things like “please stop microwaving batteries” and “you can’t just staple kale to your forehead and call it neuro-enhancement.”
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
The Worst (Active) Creator On Vocal. Content Warning.
Introduction This is meant to be a bit of humour, and I am definitely not down, although it is something I am aware of. This is only true because of the number of stories, poems, articles and things that I publish, and this is what the statistics say.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 8 months ago in Humor
Jekyll and Hyde...Together Again
A screamingly unfunny, not to say mildly nauseating "comedy" from 1982, Jekyll and Hyde...Together Again stars dubious funny man the late Mark Blankfield (of "Fridays!" fame) as Dr. Daniel (!) Jekyll, an idealistic surgeon in the Dr. Hfuhruhurr mold—you know, Steve Martin’s wacky brain-doc in The Man with Two Brains (which, to be clear, came out a year after this mess). Jekyll decides to quit surgery so he can concentrate on creating a magic nose powder (har-har) that he sniffs up by accident when a drinking straw gets caught in his slumbering nose. I'm not making this up, but whoever did must have been totting a little of that old nose powder himself.
By Tom Baker8 months ago in Humor
New Road Safety Superhero
General rules In addition to regulations and advice contained in the following section, further rules applying to pedestrians can be found throughout The Myway Code. Simply cross out the word ‘car’, ‘lorry’ or ‘horse’ and replace it with ‘person’ until you are struck by the sheer banality of the exercise in particular, or modern life in general.
By Ian Vince8 months ago in Humor
How to Manifest a Raise by Whispering Into a Mason Jar
I never believed in manifestation. Or chakras. Or anything that required gazing meaningfully into a candle while holding a feather. But that all changed the day I whispered into a mason jar and everything in my life exploded. In a good way. Mostly.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
The Pompous Post™: Established in 1799 (Over Soup)
It is with great pride, zero citation, and a healthy disregard for factual accuracy that we unveil the true origin story of The Pompous Post™. Long before algorithms and influencers sullied the written word, before social media turned public discourse into an Olympic-level mudslinging contest, and yes, even before someone thought it wise to refrigerate kale, there was a spark — a duel — and a bowl of soup.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor