Am I an Alien Now?

*Ahem*

I have an update...

I have discovered Bandlab.

That's it. That's the update.

K bye! 😌

.

.

.

.

.

.

Just kidding...

I've been deep in the musical trenches lately with nothing but a notebook of my lyrics, my determination, and Bandlab's free FX like some kind of majestic DIY audio wizard. I am actually able to master my tracks now... I am sliding knobs, tweaking EQ's, and pretending that I know what "multi band" means. This app? Website? has been great in assisting in my musical endeavors and I'm so thankful I found it!

I apparently enjoy pushing the boundaries of both art and dignity, because I also decided to unleash my inner T-Pain. I found the auto tune button 🥴 I slapped that sucker on and suddenly I was out here sounding like an alien angel who just discovered her vocal chords. Did I laugh? Yes. Did I question my life choices? Also yes. Did I keep it on there? Yes... again. I have been having the time of my life.

Bandlab has basically turned me into a one person production studio. It's really been a blast experimenting and letting myself play without rules. It's messy, distorted, echo-y, weird, and insanely fun. Powered by a butt ton of Monster, I have been working on so many new things and I'm loving every minute of this experience!

In the spirit of embracing the beautiful chaos, I decided to share the lyrics and lyric video to my latest song.

I have completed SO many songs.. and have lots of plans for them. So... expect to see me rambling about that again in the future.

I'm also gonna add the lyrics here for those who do not wish to hear my T-Pain voice lol 🫠🫠🫠

You Love Being Right:

*verse 1*

You plant kisses on my forehead every time you watch me break

Always say you're tryin but your "tryin" comes too late

you let me cry in the corner like a little doll you dropped

If you really loved me, you'd care enough to make it stop

-

You abandon me in bed, you never stay you always go

you leave the monsters in my chest, always feed 'em, watch 'em grow

You leave me sad and broken

but you love me? Tell me why

you have the nerve to call it love when you won't even try...

-

*Chorus*

Cuz you don't hurt the woman you say you adore

you don't apologize then do the same thing once more

-

your "sorry" is a sticker on a broken toy

pretty on the surface, but it never brings me joy

if you let her walk around with a broken, heavy heart

then it wasn't really love.

Not ever. Not from the start.

-

*Verse 2*

You paint empty promises in pretty colors then you watch them melt

say you're learnin but you never try to learn just how I felt

You hold my hand like it's fragile then you let me fall

you say you're always here but you're rarely here at all

-

You say I'm sensitive like that's something to fix

but you're the one repeating all your same old tired tricks

if you can watch me cry and walk away untouched

then you were never loving me, not really. Not that much...

-

*Chorus*

-

*Bridge*

I am not your puppet.

I am not your porcelain friend.

I am not a cycle you can break or even bend.

Love isn't something you can fake with a repeated phrase

not when your actions stay the same for days and days

-

Cuz you don't hurt the woman you say is your world

You don't leave her drowning, screaming, watch her heart unfurl

Your "sorry" is confetti that dissolves in heavy rain

colorful but useless while I'm soaking up the pain

-

If you can let me go to bed sad, beggin in the night

Then it wasn't really love

You loved the feeling of being right

You loved being right

Never loved me right

Just loved being right.

You loved the feeling...

Loved the feeling of being right.