Declining my new Job

"I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew what the reason was."

Right before the new year, I interviewed for a new job. I ended up being informed 2 days before new years that I got the job they just need to work out my salary. I went into things knowing that I would have a pay cut, I just wasn't sure how much. I was willing to take the pay cut to gain experience and have a fully remote job, but I also knew I needed to be realistic. Well they came back to me the other day letting me know that it would be a 12k pay cut. I was devastated, but am trying to remain optimistic.

Of course this happens at the start of the year, which can be discouraging when you have that new year new me mentality. I had hope that it would be the one positive to all the negative I endured in 2023. Not to long after though I got an email that said I had been referred for another job that would end up being a promotion should I get an interview/job. So I feel like this was very much an everything happens for a reason situation. I also know that we are only two weeks into the year so anything can happen.

"By making the most of all thing, we are making the most of ourselves ."

Even though this feels like a set back to me, one of my goals this year is to start finding the silver lining in any situation. I have such a tendency to think the worst when one small thing doesn't work out. Refusing to look at any positive in the situation. Aside from still having a great job regardless of this outcome, just getting it in the first place gave me the boost of confidence I've been seeking for awhile.

I also want to start taking advantage of the fact that my current job allows me the time to accomplish other goals I have. I feel blessed in the fact that my job isn't too mentally taxing so it allows me to have more motivation and time to commit to projects and art. One being here on Vocal more, and writing about more than just my daily life and thoughts. More about this in my next entry though.

"Unexpected events can set you back or set you up. Its all a matter of perspective."

While this year seems to have started much the same as the last few, I know that after everything it can only get better from here. Things might not have been turning out the way I imagined, or how I want them to, but maybe things will be better than I can even imagine right now. I want to take the good with the bad, no matter what that looks like for me this year. I hope that I can inspire you to do the same.

I want this year to become my happiest year, and I know that I can make that happen. I hope to get myself out of this depression, and start living life for me again. Finding all the joys in everything I once found joy in and some new things as well. To finally truly let go of the past, and allow new people into my life without judging them based on past experiences. To become the new me I've been destined and trying to become most of my thirties. I want to enjoy the last few years I have left in my 30s, and heal enough so my 4os can be my best decade yet.

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