Quarantine With the Trolls, online journal, part two

Hour 200 and 5/8 of Quarantine

The lights have finally stopped flashing about an hour ago. I'm literally surprised we didn't blow all the bulbs and throw some breakers while the incident was going on. I've been unable to sleep with every light going crazy. I believe this was the Trolls plan all along. This could of been what the younger Troll was up to yesterday.

Troll Father has once again left the house. Packing his usual cooler. I can only assume as to where he is going at this point. One day, I may attempt to follow him. But for now, I am top tired and my white car is too noticeable.

The Trolls are still sleeping this morning. It might be a good time for me to nap and catch up on some rest before I do anything else today.

Hour 209 of Quarantine

The Trolls have been extremely quiet all day long. I do not know what time they got up, they were so quiet. I have just woke up from my "nap" I laid down for this morning, to the sound of Troll Father's truck pulling up outside. I can't believe I slept so long. I didn't even set out tonight's dinner.

I don't know how I slept as long as I did, especially once I got up and seem everything that the Trolls had done. They cleaned the living and kitchen, swept, mopped, dusted and cleaned the bathroom. The porch was clean, except for 1 chicken's leaving (the only thing bad about free range birds, groan). They were even watching a movie and playing Uno when I got up, and believe me when I say they are never quiet!

I'll have to scrounge up something to feed the Trolls soon. Before they start eating the furniture. There may be enough leftovers from the last couple of days to piece together a rounded meal. I'll have to check. Let's just hope the Trolls didn't drink all the Dr. Peppers today while I slept.....

Hour 223 of Quarantine

The clocks still aren't working in the house. They seem to just be spinning hands at this point. I've been keeping up with the time by tally marks on the wall. I'm estimating the time with the Trolls' and Troll Father's routine, and my internal clock. I figure I may be off about an hour or 2 but otherwise should be pretty close to the actual time.

I will definitely have to make a supply run today. As much as I don't want to, it has to be done. We are down to the bottom of the Dr. Pepper stash, no toilet paper, ice cream sandwiches disappeared 2 nights ago, very little Bounce fabric softener, Milk is expired, no sweets, and Troll Father had a flat on his ATV he uses to bush hog the fields around the house. Now, I know to normal folks an ATV tire isn't a necessity, but to us, it's a must. That ATV is used not just for bush hogging, but checking fences and hauling chicken leaving from the coop off. Without it, my poor birds would be knee high in their own poo.

Troll Father is gone for his daily excursion. I've given the Trolls a list of possible chores for them to do while I am gone (Lord knows if any will be done). I've made sure all animals were feed and I've set out something easy for tonight's dinner. That way if I don't make it home in time, the Trolls will have something not complicated they can make.

The smoke detector keeps beeping at me. Its reminding to buy it a 9 volt battery so it can continue to complain about meals I've brunt and when I use the toaster. I'll have to feed it a battery soon if I don't want it beeping at me every 3 minutes. Although, I've considered taking them all down. After all, do we really need 5 smoke detectors in the house?

I have no privacy anymore. If the Trolls or their Father are not right there, the beagles and Toothless will be. I can't even shut the bathroom door without Toothless trying to come through the crack at the bottom of the door. Considered dressing in the chicken coop, but am not that desperate for privacy, it seems.

Well, I'm heading out. Please, if anyone is seeing, send reinforcements in the form of Dr. Pepper and ice cream sandwiches!

Hour 228 of Quarantine

After hours of poring through store shelves and 4 stores, I finally found the much sought after family size package of Toilet Paper. I felt like the mighty hunter bringing home her hunt. Even though it was generic, it's still an extra soft type, so I'll just be happy I found some. I can now head back without fear of the Trolls or their Father suffering a complete meltdown. Let me tell you one thing though: When this is all over, and life as we know it starts reverting back to as normal a rhythm as possible, I'm going to hoard so many rolls of Cottonelle 3-ply cushion rolls of fluffy softness, I'll never want for toilet paper again!

I was unable to buy any flour again this week. I still have a smidgen of flour to cook with, although it needs to be restocked soon. Nor was I able to buy any ice cream sandwiches. All that ice cream, and everyone is eating only ice cream sandwiches? What the hey!

I was able to get most other items on my list, or some variation/substitution. I even remembered the ear rinse for the beagles I've forgotten for the last 3 weeks. It was a mostly successful mission.

Of course it wasn't until I got home that I realized I forgot the 9 Volt batteries. So, it'll be another night or 2 listening to the fantastically magical sound of smoke detectors chirping at odd moments. Waking me up, leaving me wondering what I heard. Oh, joy. I never ever thought I would hate a device more than the smoke detector.

Troll Father appears to be in a pleasant mood. He keeps grunting, pointing and smiling really big before laughter erupts from him. At least I hope he's smiling and laughing....... The alternative is too horrific to contemplate. It's so hard to be sure, because, have we ever seen him truly happy since this madness started?

The Trolls of course did none of the chores, as suspected. To be honest, I am unsure exactly what either one did the entire time I was gone. Nothing useful was accomplished at all. But of course, mops and buckets were thrown out all over the yard, brooms on the porch, and Beauty allowed to run free unsupervised.

The younger Troll assisted me with taking all supplies into the house, without being asked and no hesitation. She showed a little anger that I didn't open the door fast enough for her on a box of groceries that needed brought in, but she quickly reined it in. She even helped unpack all the supplies, putting them in the correct bins and shelves.

Younger Troll informed me not to long after all the supplies were put up, that she apologized for the house smelling like poop, but she cleaned the mess up and the smell wouldn't go away. Seems Younger ignored Beauty's signals that she needed out so she went right there in front of Younger.

I had to wake the older one up at 2 pm, she was still in her lair. Un-moving. With all windows covered completely. I swear she hissed at me and screeched something about the sun. It frightened me so much, I slammed the door, mumbling something along the lines of sorry, just checking to see if you're okay or not.......

I have found the origins of the poop smell. Older Troll has not taken the trash out today. Younger threw the dog poop in the trash. Younger didn't take trash out, because that is Older's chore, and Lord forbid she do Older's chore.

I really don't know how much longer this can go on before I crack. Dr. Pepper can only be rationed so much. I'm completely out of ice cream sandwiches, and the last ones I bought were smaller than the palm of my hand and gone in 2-3 bites (that's not a sandwich. That's a flippin cookie!).

Hour 231 of Quarantine

I have just informed Younger Troll that her homework packet can be dropped off at school on the 7th and she can pick up another packet then also, so she can keep up with her schoolwork. The resulting scream that issued from her could be heard clear across the county. Now, she is rolled into a fetal position, moaning how she needs to go back to school. She can't handle this learning from home. She misses her teachers. This isn't how school is supposed to be. She can't handle this schoolwork from home anymore. Why'd this have to happen to her? She's a good girl, she likes school. Can't she just go back to school.

For the last 30 minutes I've only heard whimpers coming from the area she's dug out for herself. I'm really worried about her.

Older Troll once again disappeared into her lair after dinner and hasn't been seen since. It's probably for the best, since she's so bored, she's picking fights.

Troll Father looked so tired earlier, I turned all TVs and radios off and the lights down. He laid down and within 5 minutes was snoring. I don't know if it's possible to sleep with the noise he is making, but I've got to try.

Hour 244 of Quarantine

Our Governor has now issued a mandatory stay-at-home order that started today, for non-essential persons. To be honest, I'm kinda confused, since most everyone I know had already started quarantine ages ago. Was there that many people that didn't self-quarantine when it was first suggested and Trump stated the same thing our governor has now finally came out and said? Non-essential people are only allowed out for basic supply runs, medications, and appointments with doctors. We are told we must wear masks when out and practice the 6 foot rule.

The last 3 days since the governor statement has been pure h-e- double hockey sticks 🏒 🏒. Even though I'd made a supply run and stocked several items on my list on Thursday, we still didn't have everything we needed for a full on 2 week quarantine. After discussing the issue with Troll Father, he agreed to come to town with me, and use his almost brand new, hardly used debit card to purchase items that had a limit on them. So Saturday morning, him and I spent most of the morning shopping stores in Thayer for the items needed for a 2 week quarantine. We lucked out at Wal-Mart, they were stocking toilet paper as we walked up. I took 2, one for my cart and one for his cart. I finally found flour, at Town and Country, but there was only 1 bag of self rising flour., so I didn't ask Father to buy any. After all, I really didn't want rice or potato flour, nor turnip flour for that matter. Just plain old wheat flour is perfectly fine with me.

In the nearly 4 hours we spent going to 4 different stores, Troll Father almost reverted completely to his human form. He looked at the fishing gear, dug through lures and the such. He was talking and laughing while making normal jokes. We drank Dr. Pepper in a parking lot, talking about memories and future plans. It almost had a date feel to it. Which is nice. Considering we haven't dated much since the kids decided we needed them.

It wasn't 40 minutes after we got home and Troll Father reverted to his normal self with his usual lame jokes. If I hear pull my finger one more time, I can't be held responsible for what I do! The green fog that is emitting from the house is horrendous!

After Troll Father and I got back to the house, unloaded 2 weeks worth of supplies, I made sandwiches for us all to eat. The Trolls of course groaned and complained about having to eat sandwiches again. Almost like they think they're too good for a nice turkey or bologna sandwich.

Older Troll was upset that I went to town without her, and threw an actual temper tantrum. Younger Troll was laughing about it when we got back and couldn't wait to tell us when we came in. Older was easy to calm down once I explained that we could get what she was needing in Alton when I went for 2 week supply of gas.

So, after I took Older to the Dollar General in Alton so she could renew her phone minutes, I went to the gas station to fill up 3 jugs with non-ethanol gas. Father's truck will not run off of any other gas than that due to the age of his vehicle. Since I was already in Alton, I decided to check and see if Harp's had any ice cream sandwiches and hit a jackpot! Unfortunately, I only bought 1, because I don't have the freezer space 😒. Then I was able to head home for the day. 2 towns, 7 stores wore me plumb out.

Once I got home, all I wanted to do was lay down and sleep, but I decided to check my messages first. Only to find out my older sister passed away. So, Sunday, I bought me a bottle of BlackBerry Wine, poured me a glass, and sat sipping and remembering all the shenanigans her and I have been involved in together. As much as I wanted to drink the whole bottle, I drank the one glass, to toast her memory.

Now, here I am, come Monday morning, the first day of the governor's order, having to go to town because Troll Father forgot to get a spark plug for his mower Saturday when we were in town. Well, I tried to not leave the house again. I knew it was just too good to be true, me not having or needing to go anywhere for 2 weeks. Well, I'm starting again, starting now.....

Hour 247? 249? of Quarantine

Had to go get gas with Troll Father for his ancient vehicular relic today. On the spur of the moment, I begged him to stop at the grocery store. I'm so happy he did, they had my NORMAL sized ice cream sandwiches stocked. Not those little ice cream cookie bites! Immediately upon arriving back to the Burrough, I sat down and ate 1 of those delectable treats. I've hidden the box in a bag marked brussel sprouts. Hopefully this will keep the Trolls from finding them.

Ice cream sandwiches! Yeah!

Hour 251 of Quarantine

As I sit here going through Facebook, eating one of my precious ice cream sandwiches and drinking my ever present Dr. Pepper, I seem to have a lot of thinking time. And as is the way with my mind, I seem to be having many random thoughts flashing through my mind. All speeding like a runaway locomotive.

I do a lot of remembering of my older sister. How once her, my other sister and I all put a pair of Joey's pants, all 3 together, and tried to walk through the house; Vickie and I was hopping and Sherry was trying to walk normal. Vickie telling me that our brothers only picked on me because I cried, and if I acted like it didn't bother me, they'd leave me alone. It didn't work, but by the time I figured it out, it didn't matter anymore. Her burning my neck in the morning with a curling iron because I wouldn't sit still. The first, second, and all the other haircuts I allowed her to perform on my hair, then her real mom, who was a beautician, would have to fix it for me. Ms Mary finally told Vickie that if she cut my hair 1 more time she was going to tan her, lol. Her teaching me how to wear makeup. Her stealing my only tennie shoes and hiding them. The scary stories at night. The time she poured hot oil in my ear to help my earache, Good Lord that burned so bad.

I try not to think about Covid19 or this quaratine, but is hard to do when it is all you hear about. Quaratine keeps getting extended. School's keep postponing going back. More and more people being diagnosed with it. Now as of today, I find out that a 49 year old male has the virus in Oregon County. Didn't say if it was in which town.

I wonder how they came up with the name Oreo for a cookie. What made them look at that sandwich cookie and say, you know, that just looks like an Oreo. I wonder, but really am too lazy to Google it.

I start thinking about what came first the chicken or the egg. I quickly decided that was a tired useless argument that could just go round and round, never ending. Besides it's irrelevant when it comes to the one question that truly needs answering. The one question that everyone has wondered at some point in their life. Who seen a chicken lay an egg and though, huh, bet that's good to eat? That is the unanswerable question of all time.

I wonder who made the first cake. Who had the first beehives. I wonder if that tiger got sick after Carole feed it. I ponder the benefits of solar energy versus wind. I consider beans and corn for my garden or should I just keep it salsa. I consider buying another fridge or freezer. Change my mind because Troll Father needs a riding lawn mower. Wish I had some way to buy a new cookstove but that'll probably have to wait till next year.

I wonder how far behind the Trolls are getting with their perspective schools. I worry Younger is going to get so far behind she never becomes a doctor, or lawyer, or such and that she decides only a cowgirl she can be. I mean, after all, what is a cowgirl without her horse and cows? I can't afford that kind of lifestyle for her. We all know a cowgirl needs boots, jeans, skirts, shirts and hats galore! A new one for every rodeo. Then she'd want roping lessons, and we'd all be victims of her lasso then. Then she'd want that horse properly shoed with some fancy smancy bedazzled saddle and bridle combo, and let's not talk hays and grains. The trailer she'll want will be some elaborate mess with living quarters attached, so she can travel in style in some souped up farm truck that gets 6 miles to the gallon, if I'm lucky. Then the darn horse will end up with some social anxiety disorder and I'll have to buy it a freaking goat, a goat hear ya, just so the horse will be calmer because it has a PET in the stall with it. Nope, she's just gotta be a doctor, or lawyer, or I'd settle even for President of the United States of America. Just don't let her be a cowgirl.

My hair gets in the way of my sandwich, and I realize I need a haircut. I am starting to look like Michael Landon had a love child with Sia. Older Troll only really likes coloring hair and shaving hers into a Mohawk while she is out of school. Every time I mention my hair, nails or whiskers to her she groans and says you can go to the school and get it done when I go back. I may need to resort to desperate measures if she doesn't relent or Divine Intervention happens. Just saying, at this point, being bald sounds really really really good right now.....

All these thoughts and more go through my head. I've still got a couple bites of sandwich left at this point. I figure I'll finish those and get up and see what the Younger is doing. She's been quiet for awhile now. That's never really a good thing. No telling what she's up too.

Hour 258 of Quarantine

I went outside to find Older Troll at the top of the driveway in my yellow cart. She appeared to be rocking back and forth, whooping and hollering something about, "Roll! C"mom, forward, you liver-bellied land dog! Roll!"

I decided I really didn't want to check the chicken eggs that bad. I turned and went back into the house. Margaritas are sounding really good right now.

Hour 263 I Quarantine

I thought I was going to be able to take a nap today, since the Trolls have mostly been quiet and Troll Father off doing he's daily roaming. But no, that's just not going to be in the cards for me.

I laid down and had just dozed off, when an extremely loud bang and crash accompanied by a high pitched scream rudely woke me up. I jumped up and ran to the front of the Burrough, to find Older Troll attempting to hold Younger off of her. Younger had what appeared to be a sharpened stick in her hand, swiping at Older, all the while yelling, " That's it! I'm going to kill you! Take it back! Apologize! I hate you! Die, you maggot infested crooked-eyed moth eaten Harpy!"

With all the screaming, growling, clicking and hissing, I didn't really want to get involved. I also didn't want blood and guts all over the room. After much yelling, waving my arms and pulling on theirs, I finally got their attention. I told them if they didn't stop fighting they would push me to my limits. They started to laugh, but just at that moment we heard Father's truck coming down the lane. At this point, I smirkingly told them, that I had no problems letting him know just how rotten they both were. Both Trolls turned pale and immediately started cleaning the house. It has been extremely quiet in the Burrough every since

Hour 270 or 275 of Quarantine

One of the lovelies in the house thought it was a great idea to erase my tally marks. Now, once again I am unsure of the time. I believe this was done as a distraction for shenanigans by the Trolls. I will have to be extremely vigilant.

The governor announced that none of the schools will open back this year. Students can go back after June. Homeschooling is to continue. Of course, that's unless it's decided to extend the quarantine again.

Younger Troll has been moping around the house. She has taken to setting up apples, oranges and pears with faces and clothes. She appears to be asking them questions like she's giving them a test. When I last seen her, she had a pear off to the side and she said I had to leave him alone because he was in ISS.

Younger has also asked me if I will buy her 2 milk cows, so she can have free milk. And huge pets that'll eat $500 a week. I've taken to just staring at her when she asks me questions, eventually she just backs out of the room.

Hour 285 - 287 - 288 ? Of Quarantine

Thanks to the Trolls for erasing my tally marks. Yeah, Trolls. Not. I'm reminded of my childhood when I told time by my growling stomach and the halogen streetlights. Back when if I knew we had plans to go somewhere, I was always asking what time it was. I've aggravated myself so much looking at the clock that just goes round and round, that I am beginning to understand my siblings impatience with me. Unlike when I was a child, Sherry isn't here to "teach" me how to tell time with these messed up clocks.

The beagles have escaped the Burrough and have been gone for no telling how long. It can only be surmised that Troll Father let the dogs out when he was discussing a door installation with his Buddy Ol' Pal who's going to do the work. Father has been riding the trails on the back fields looking for the wayward pups. Younger Troll showed up in the yard carrying the male, Duke, about 30 or so minutes ago. She was extremely upset because he was crying and wouldn't walk. Once we got him inside, we found a small cut on his leg, and that was all. I have long suspected this beagle if having the ability to play 'possum and exaggerate any wound he may or may not have. If the girl pups don't come in after I've cooked whatever the next meal is supposed to be (supper? I think?), then I'll have to drive the roads around the house to help look for these disobedient minions of Younger. We all know if I don't and the pups are not found soon, Younger will not be responsible for her actions.

I went to get a ice cream sandwich. Someone took the last one, but of course they left the empty package for me to find. The only ice cream in the house is the types the Trolls selected for themselves. Of course none of the Trolls will admit they ate my sandwiches. Although Older has a suspicious dark chocolatety brown cookie substance on the tips of her fingers, that she's licking off. Like Cheetos cheese powder. Like. Cheetos. Cheese. Powder. Hmmmmmm.

Hour 299, 300 ???? Of Quarantine

Troll Father has been asleep for awhile. Older Troll has been locked in her room for awhile. Unsure if she's awake, asleep, or dead, shes not come out in so long. The beagle girls are still gone, they didn't return with the coming night and storms.

I'm worried about Younger. She was sitting, rocking back and forth. Holding her atms around her stomach. Facing the wall. Mumbling my babies, oh my babies! This went on till not to long ago. She's now passed out on the floor before the front door. She's way too big for me to move, and weighs way too much besides. Maybe Father won't mind to much if he has to move her to a new location.

Looks like I'll be sitting up a little longer, and see if the pups come home during the night. I don't know if Younger can handle anther day without her Minions.

Please! I need ice cream sandwiches! I can't do this without my sandwiches!