humor

Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?

Nightmares of Working in Retail Ch. 1
With my awkward social skills, it’s no surprise to most people that I work in retail. When you go shopping, you can almost always bet that you’ll run into an incompetent sales person when you need help. Or, frankly, you don’t want anyone to talk to you. This I can understand as a shopper, because I don’t need your help finding a piece of clothing that’s going to look good on my awkwardly-shaped body. That’s basically a fruitless effort. The answer is nothing, so don’t lead me to the trendy oversized tee shirts, or the ripped mom jeans that don’t hug in any of my good places. My sales persona is a completely different beast. I’m going to bug you about all of your deepest desires and passions, all while wearing a beautiful smile on my face that is only genuine about 50 percent of the time. Good days usually afford me a confrontation or two. I’m going to start telling you about them. While I do my best to not say no to my customers, there are sometimes where you’ll catch me doing the job I am more than happy to be doing.
By Anita Drink6 years ago in Journal
Chasing Happy
It's Monday. I've gone for a walk, had a smoothie for breakfast, and I settle into my home office to make my list for my work day. Sounds good and balanced, looks productive, but one simple task tumbles into another, and one on top of that, and then circled back, oh and remembering to not forget—and I seem to 'and' my day away.
By Debi Hammond7 years ago in Journal
When Redundancy Strikes
Eight months ago I was made redundant—it was day 18,919 of my life and I was now redundant. Well, I didn't become redundant, but my job did. During this time, it's been a struggle to find work and I’ve only worked a total of about 13 weeks before recently landing a short-term contract.
By Jan Evans7 years ago in Journal
5 Reasons to Bake Cookies When You Should Be Writing
Who out there is a terrible procrastinator when they have free time on the weekends? We’ve got work to do, freelance projects, self-imposed deadlines, and plenty of other obligations.
By Leigh Victoria Phan, MS, MFA7 years ago in Journal
The Battle of Administrative Professionals
The shrill ring of the office telephones echo through the dusty cubicle space. The employees, bundled at their desks drinking already cold coffee, curse the maintenance man who still hasn't fixed the air conditioning unit. The pens with the click-y tops... they've been depleted. "Wh-W-Where... are... they?"
By Hannah B7 years ago in Journal
How Looking for a New Job Feels Like Looking for Love
Looking for a new job is like dating. For some people, dating and searching for jobs is an exciting enterprise. For me, both are tedious and soul-crushing. Whichever kind of person you are, it’s easy to see the parallels between searching for a new job or a new partner.
By Mimi Sonner8 years ago in Journal
Minority of eBay
This is my first post on here, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Sam and I sell on eBay. I always write things down, but no one ever sees it. So, I've come on here. People may never see it still but I feel like it's got a bigger audience opportunity than my bedside table drawer!
By Sam Dodd8 years ago in Journal
Why Poor People Party Properly - My Own Private Poverty - Rich Versus Poor
Sometimes, I find that I love my own poverty too much, and it never fails to fill me with shame. No-one can take away my ability to end up with nothing. I work, I’m poor. I claimed benefits, I’m poor, I’ve broken the law and I still ended up poor. I’ve been poorer. Homeless at times, if you don’t count living on sofas as a housed situation. It is though. Our sofa surfers, in the United Kingdom, are kept from the streets by the kindness of beautiful souls.
By Johnny Vedmore8 years ago in Journal
The Customer Is Always Right...?
I work at a cashier at Wendy's in an airport, which means I work a lot with customers. Which also means, I hear a lot of stupid questions. Stupid customer questions always make me laugh and give my friends a bit of a laugh too. So to spread the joy, here is a compiled list of my favorite stupid questions.
By Sarah8 years ago in Journal
Dear Customer.... Top Story - April 2018.
Dear Customer, I’m sorry, but I don’t wish to smell your shoe. Let it be known that if you tell me that your shoe smells, I will always take your good word for it. I understand that you managed to get the shoes wet whilst walking in the rain, and now sadly one of the shoes has an unpleasant smell. I also understand, that because only one shoe has become foul smelling, and not both, you are now questioning whether there is a fault with the shoes? Let me explain, rain is a damp liquid that often falls from the sky, like magic. The shoes you bought are not made out of bread, but of a fabric material that is not waterproof. Therefore, if you go out wearing the shoes in all the damp rain, there is a high likelihood that they will get wet. This could also contribute to the smelly state we now find you in. Or it could be a foot-related medical issue, to which I can offer no advice, as surprisingly I am not a fully qualified doctor who prefers to sell discount outdoor clothing. Sadly, I cannot offer you any refund on the item at this point, as getting your money back on an item you bought a year ago, with no proof of purchase, because you made half of it smell, is not a thing.
By B H M8 years ago in Journal
The Blogging Express—Next Stop: Procrastination Station
I often find myself weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of blogging. On the one hand, writing on a regular basis and being able to provide examples of your work is important if you wish to pursue a job or career in which writing is a key element.
By Siôn Stedman8 years ago in Journal
Job Hunting and Why I Hate It So
There are two things in this world, that I loathe and despise perhaps more than any other things. One of them is searching for a new place to live. Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I won't have to deal with that again for a long long time.
By Pete Sears8 years ago in Journal