Weight a Minute! I Figured It Out

I'm off topic here but the dude in the picture makes Booger from Revenge of the Nerds, look like Clark Gable. Forget push-ups! That man needs to do some push-aways from the snack table. Has the lad ever heard of a salad? Damn!

Speaking of snacks, you know, there's just something I've been craving for quite some time. I really can't believe it's been that long since I've had some.

I've been without it for so long that I've forgotten what it even feels like and I have to change that.

You know what I'm going to do?! I'm going to go out and buy myself some.

I wonder if they still have their prices online though because I'm going to need an estimate on it before I buy it. 

And pictures too! 

I need pics because I want to know what it looks like before I purchase it.

There's something about a great plate of nachos that just speaks to your soul. 

All it takes is one nacho chip and you’re done for.

And I'm not talking about any ole' kind of nachos either. I'm speaking on Dave & Buster's nachos. 

It's been a little over 13 years since I've had some and I still can't help but to think about them to this very day. I wonder if they still sell them and if they do, are they still as good as they once were.

Let me head on over to their website to check out the menu.

Uhhh! I hate when these fast food joints don't allow you to see the prices upfront.

They want you to put an order in before you can see what all this stuff's going to cost.

I'm like this, I just want to see how much the food is so I can decide whether or not if I want to break open my piggy bank to spend a little bit.

Hey, we're in a recession or a regression or a reset or whatever they're calling this shit so every little bit you can save counts!

I see that Dave & Buster's has a PDF style menu. Oh, you fancy, huh?!

As I skimmed through the menu, I noticed one thing immediately; This food has hella calories. 

The Papi Chulo Queso has 1,010 calories in it alone. 

Here's a little description about the meal,

"Loaded with pork chorizo (that's what cheese said) Oh, that's supposed to be funny. (Cues up Kawhi Leonard laugh for added effect.) black beans, roasted corn, fresh pico de gallo, cotija cheese and cilantro. Served with diablo-seasoned chips."

That sounds like one helluva meal. 

I still don't see anything pertaining to their beloved nachos though.

Oh wait! They have Chicken Cantina Nachos. They look pretty tasty but I'm not looking for chicken though. This meal contains 1,130 calories.

What in the world is Fried GPT exactly?! 

It says that it's "tossed with garlic butter, parm & truffle dust."

Ooh, that's what GPT stands for. DUHHH!!! "It's served with garlic aioli."

Aioli? English, motherfucker! English!

 *Bonus points goes out to whomever can guess what movie that comes from.

I've never heard of some of these ingredients in my whole life but I must admit that it certainly sounds very appetizing.

The meal tops out at 1,340 calories. 

I hope it comes with a Billy Blanks Tae Bo VHS tape because that's what your going to need if your fat ass eats all of that shit. 

Moving on down to the Flatbread section. 

That BBQ Chicken Flatbread looks pretty tempting. 

Check this out, 

"It's grilled chicken, honey BBQ sauce, not 1 cheese, 2 cheese, 3 cheese or even 4 cheese but a 5 cheese blend. It has red onion, jalapenos & cilantro. And it's mother cluckin' good." 

When I read this to my brother, he pointed out that they might’ve stolen that line from GTA: San Andreas. There was a fast food joint in that game called Cluckin’ Bell. Calorie count 1,410. 

Skipping past the Wings section. 

I've just never been a wings guy. Not enough meat on the bones for my liking. 

I'm strictly a breast and thigh man. Winking at all the ladies out there reading this. 

Fellas, I know you feel me, right? High five up top! Don't leave me hanging, bros!

Skipping past the Protein Bowls as well. 

Don't get me wrong; I love myself some protein. Just never been a salad guy. 

Scrolling on down to the Smashed Burgers & Handhelds section where we have the Brekky Smashed Burger. 

"Time to wake & bacon. Stacked with applewood smoked bacon, American cheese, grilled onions, bacon aioli, lettuce, tomato & pickles. Topped with fried egg & hot honey drizzle on a toasted potato bun." 1670 calories.

That doesn't sound half bad at all.

I just hope it comes with a side of a good cardiologist because that's what you're going to need after eating it. 

Last but not least, we have the Entrees section highlighted by the Chicken Parm Pasta. 

"We got that OG marinera drip. (Looks like they're targeting the "Hip-hop crowd" with this one.) Parmesan-crusted chicken covered in rustic marinara, melted cheese, tomato bruschetta & basil. Served with alfredo linguine." 1540 calories. 

I had to look up rustic marinara to find out what the hell it was but other than that everything else sounds quite tasty.

Yep, that food sounds like Heaven and if you eat it, that’s certainly where you’re going to end up.

I think I better play it safe and just boil myself some rice and call it a day.