I Wish I’d Failed my Driving Test!

In my late teens all my friends had cars. To put it bluntly, every single one of them drove rather dangerously and crashed multiple times. I don’t know how they all survived that period, but the worst that happened was a broken kneecap.

As for me, I had a motorbike. In the early 90’s you could drive a 100cc bike without a full licence. I loved the feeling of freedom it gave me and it was twenty times cheaper to buy and run.

I rode that bike into the ground until it was only good for scrap, then after relocating to England and having my first child, I decided not to replace it due to the inherent dangers of biking.

Living in the centre of town also meant I had no real need for a motor vehicle. I was quite happy to walk and cycle everywhere and it helped keep me fit and healthy. There was also something very therapeutic about pushing my child around in a pram.

But people would often question why I didn’t have a car at my age, especially with a family in tow. What they didn’t realise however, was that my gambling addiction meant I rarely had enough for a bus fare, never mind a car. It was often inwardly ashamed, but didn’t show it.

Then at 34 years old, I received an unexpected inheritance when my dear old grandmother passed away. So I knew what I had to do.

I knew there was a high chance I could blow the lot if I didn’t do something quick. So I applied for driving lessons and ordered a brand new family car.

After three failed attempts due to nerves, I finally passed my test and picked up my car up from the garage. I suddenly felt like a proper dad!

I remember the first time I drove into work and parked up. Everyone treated me with such respect. I was one of them now apparently. Just because I had a car!

We certainly had some great times in that car as a family. Going on beach trips at the weekend was a joy. But what I didn’t appreciate was that every single trip, every turn of the wheel, and every drop of fuel spent was draining me in different ways. Slowly but surely …

As I was no longer walking longer distances, I noticed my fitness levels dropping and I started putting on weight. I wasn’t cycling much either and was losing the benefits of being out in the open. Slowly it would effect my mental health.

Then there was all the running costs. I was constantly filling it up with fuel. Then it was tyre replacements, servicing, insurance, tax, mot, breakdowns, replacement parts etc..

Then finally, one day the power steering went and I almost crashed into someone at a roundabout. I had no inheritance money left, the car had 100,000 miles on the clock and no real hope of recovery without huge investment. I sold it for £500 (it cost me £16,000!)

Although I was no longer gambling any more, it seemed to make no difference to my financial position. I was back to square one with no money. My car had drained everything.

So what did I do?

I bought another one on finance!

The thing about cars is that once you’ve had one, the thought of not having another seems almost impossible. It’s a trap!

The guilt you feel as a father with a family and not having a car becomes insurmountable. Everyone must have lifts! Lifts to school, lifts to friends houses, prom night, drama school, football, shopping … it never ends.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I have realised my decision to take the driving test and buy my first car was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. The money I have spent on cars and everything that goes with them is likely well over £70,000. Quite frankly, I find that rather disgusting.

In just a few months time my car lease will run out and there will be another decision looming. But the fact is, I just don’t want one any more. I am trying hard to convince everyone that it may be possible to survive without one, but the odds are stacked against me. I guess I may just have to wait until the kids fly the nest. (Only another 8 years to go then! 😥)

Thanks for reading.

Originally published at https://medium.com/never-stop-writing/i-wish-id-failed-my-driving-test-5203189af9fb