Are You a Nancy or a Polly?

We've all heard it before, "Life's a bitch." Everyone relates differently. We all face the inevitable struggles of life, some way or another. The difference is how we choose to look and deal with these obstacles.

Today I am struggling with my own personal set of issues. However, even though I am going to vent and hope to get a clearer head when I'm done, I am also going to point out the silver lining to the best of my ability. Besides, not everyone has to be a negative Nancy, there's plenty of positive Polly's out there and I am going to be one!

Last month was hard enough being confronted by my grumpy landlord, who raised my rent. This month is twice as challenging for us financially. Already on a fixed budget and unable to work at the moment. It is absolutely embarrassing being this broke when everyone knows I am expecting a baby soon.

Keeping a collective composure hasn't been easy, however, staying consciously aware of my sensitive hormones has kept me in check. Accepting reality is the easiest way to progress.

Unfortunately, relying on payday loans have been our only saving grace this past month, and now I found out I have a negative balance in my banking account. Tomorrow is rent day, and realistically, I don't see how that is happening.

After our visit to the bank this morning, our only car started to overheat! GREAT! Feeling pretty distraught at that moment, we had to wait an hour for the car to cool down before driving it again. Luckily, we were only a few blocks from home, so rest assured, we made it. Really the only silver lining I could find here was I am fortunate enough to have parents who will allow me to move back into their basement. It's better than living out of my car and better than being homeless. I feel so helpless not being able to contribute financially. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place, or in my case, a baby.

My question is, how soon can I move back in because I’m drowning in debt over here!? AHHH!

My second biggest life complaint has to be the condition of the RV I call home. 500 square feet, and it's oldest model in the park! It was the cheapest thing close to work that we could find at the time. With that said, it has been three years now. I am ready to leave this place, and leave ASAP! I will spare you the laundry list and details of our broken/complaint list, but trust me when I say it’s a doozie.

I have been trying to move since I found out I was pregnant, which has been since January. Again, hard to do with me not working. So I sit, bored to death in my shitty trailer park, counting down the hours until my husband is off work and back home. Time passes slowly in my opinion when you are all by yourself. Silver lining? I have my puppy; she is very intuitive and unbelievably smart! She does her best to keep me company and pass the time. I am very grateful to have her.

In other current events, I had court last week for my pending DUI charges. My public defender got another extension on my case. Nothing will be decided now until July. I went and took the eval. It’s a mandatory thing. Results determine if I go to classes or get put on probation. I have no idea what I would do if I had to go to classes a few times a week. With Rick's work schedule and me being pregnant, it would be such an imposition! I can't even fathom how I would make that work.

The results have been faxed to my public defender; I am hoping I hear from her in the next upcoming week. Everything rides on the lady who interviewed me. The silver lining on this topic, I guess you could say, is pending. For now, I will stay optimistic!

All things aside, this isn't my first rocky boat ride. I've struggled before, as most of us do, back to back. Things have always worked out in the past, even when I couldn't see any hope. So I tell myself with a great deal of confidence, "Tings will be fine." Like my stepfather has always told me growing up, "This too shall pass."

Just keep searching for the light, even in darkness it's there. That's what sets us apart. Some of us have the ability to find our way, and some stay confined and lost. Ask yourself this; are you a negative Nancy or a positive Polly?