Let's go Stumbling

I had grace, I had balance, like a gazelle I could run across a four-lane highway in high heels .... but now .. I can't even make it across the barnyard without an accident. I have stumbled, slipped, slid and slammed myself into the ground. Judging by my bruises I have beat myself up real good. I show myself no mercy.

One morning I managed to make it a double stumble slam with a side of hot oatmeal. With the temperatures dropping and cold frosty mornings, I spoil my chickens with cooked oatmeal mixed in with their feed. Those sweet hens will hum a soft purr as they peck away. Happy hens lay healthy eggs.

It's just about dawn, I could hear the chickens getting anxious, they are hungry and want out of their coop. If my timing is right Goatee and the sheep are still up by the first barn eating breakfast, horses and our new breakfast buddies, donkey's Jilly and Jax are munching it up. My timing so far was good. I would actually make it to work on time.

I stepped outside with my yellow bucket, the yellow bucket that can stop a goat in the middle of his chew, that yellow bucket that every animal in the barnyard knows has something good in it ... food .... baaaaaa. I would have made it across the yard before Goatee and his band of sheep emerged on me like a pack of wolves if it wasn't for that hole. That big hole in the middle of the yard, a hole that only one dog could dig, Remi; because she, is the only digger in this farm family. You could plant a tree in the holes she digs.

I did my best to save myself but that hole was not letting me go without a takedown. Like slow motion, my yellow bucket flew up in the air dumping hot oatmeal and chicken feed all over me as I hit the ground. I was oatmeal and chicken feed mess from head to the inside of my Barbie pink rubber boots. I sat there for a moment as oatmeal dripped off me. But I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself, the herd was headed my way, I could hear the stampedes of hooves from Goatee and the sheep coming towards me. They would show me no mercy as I picked myself up.

I took a deep breath of cold air and wrestled that yellow bucket off Goatee's head as he slurped up whatwas left inside. I maneuvered my way through the herd of sheep as they tried to eat the oatmeal off me. I made it back inside the house and had to sit for a moment. Apparently, kittens like hot oatmeal too as they licked and purred to their little hearts content.

Chickens finally got fed and happy to get out of their coop. Goatee and the sheep went back to the barn to finish up thier morning feed. Me, I'm limping on one foot and dragging the other. After a shower I finally made it into work. My boss being the sweet lady that she is, never really questions me as to why I'm late. She was more intrested in the story as to how I was late.

She always did love a good barnyard story. She was a fan of the Goat.