My mind acts like it’s happening today.
I know others expected it more than I.
You were never capable of loving me in return.
I finally see the
person I became while trying to be an acceptable version.
I thought love meant killing off the bad parts of
me that actually make me myself.
You preferred my fake self, so I
kept letting myself be shaped
and twisted into someone you might want around,
believing if I pretended, I would be enough for you.
I held on to hope much longer than I should have because
giving up meant facing the truth, which I'm doing now.
You never saw a future for you and I,
so I have
to admit that I need to
be done with you and grow
into who I was avoiding, who I am am supposed to be, into
someone you will never recognize, someone
bright, shiny, and new.
**********************************************************************I took the line "Today I return the version of myself I shaped around you because now I have to grow into someone new" from Christian Sanchez's poem "Today I Return" to create this Golden Shovel poem.
About the Creator
Tina D. Lopez
A woman who writes to deal with hurt, mistakes--mine and others, and messy emotions. Telling my truth, from the heart, with no sugarcoating.
My book Love Ain’t No Friend of Mine is available on Amazon. https://a.co/d/6JYBmLH
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More stories from Tina D. Lopez and writers in Poets and other communities.
December 8, 1980
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