Fairly New Tales

Jack and Jill went up the hill, he said “to fetch some water”

It seems as though that Jill forgot what “stranger danger” taught her

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and broke his shell again

This fool will soon be scrambled eggs, the question’s only, when

An older hag with lots of kids were living in a shoe

She said she’s taking birth control, that clearly wasn’t true

It’s after twelve and Cinderella’s dealing with her gout

She ditched those stupid shoes of glass and kept on hanging out

Despite Rapunzel’s famous hair, her boyfriend called it quits

It seems to be, apparently, the hair was from her pits

A wolf approached a house of pigs and starts to huff and puff

The house fell down, he ate the pigs and auctioned off their stuff

He later spoke with Riding Hood from grandma’s comfy bed

But Riding Hood was packin’ heat, and now the wolf is dead

Pinocchio, because of lies, his nose was getting bent

It grew the most when Mrs. O would ask him where he went

Little miss Muffet sat on her toilet, the curds were making her pay

Along came a spider, sat beside her, and quickly passed away

Jack tossed some beans onto the ground, a stalk grew through a cloud

Jack found up there a golden goose, its gander looking proud

Jack stole the goose and scurried down, an axe was on his deck

He chopped the stalk, a giant fell, and broke his freaking neck